Hi @Yin,    That is such a tough situation and I hear you with all my heart re the feeling of isolation and grief, I'm so sorry this has been so hard What you chose to do for your ex was incredibly selfless and it takes such strength of character to make a choice like that, but please don't forget to hold some space for yourself as well, you are so deserving of love and friendship! Sometimes it can be easy to let out own needs fall to the wayside in these situations and you sound so compassionate and honest, are you able to direct some of that compassion inwards? I'm so glad to hear that you reached out to your mates and that they were understanding, but please remember that you deserve nothing less than that! Is stuff okay with your new bf now?  ... View more

Hi @Bella2 , thankyou so much for starting this conversation!    - during this tough time did you find enough support on reachout.com?   I'm in a similar boat to @Sunnybear, @Tay100 and @November13 but ReachOut has been an amazing way to connect with people, come together and support one another during a really tough time!    - During this time did you wish you did something differently to make the situation better?   I wish I was more present in each moment and was able to appreciate the downtime and practice a bit more self-acceptance and compassion during lockdown! I wouldn't usually make the time to be truly introspective and reflect on the important things in life.    - what new skill did you pick up during this time?   I actually did a total career swap! I was working in film and TV and am now studying my Masters in Counselling and working in mental health, so this has been a big change!    - did you catch up on things you wanted to do for a while   I was doing lots of yoga and walking and focused a bit more on my music project. However, I also tried to let myself be unmotivated and binge Netflix too!  ... View more

Hi @Rosie97 , firstly happy birthday for last week! I hope you had a lovely day! I'm a fellow Scorpio too!    As @StormySeas17 mentioned, I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to continue chatting, but  I think it's just about going into it with open eyes and being clear about expectations. At the end of the day we are all human and it is SO NORMAL to miss what feels familiar and comfy, but maybe it's more about just checking in with yourself to observe what your motivations are for reconnecting and then being open and clear about the boundaries for the relationship? It can be so bloody hard, but either way, you will both learn and grow from this and it is another chance to practice trusting in yourself! ROCK ON!  ... View more

Hi @sukidakedo,  Thank you so much for sharing, and I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, exploring your sexual identity as a young person is daunting enough without added pressures!   Although it sounds like your mum loves you very much, it can be so hard when parents impose their values or point of view, even when their intention is to protect us. Is there someone in your life or even a professional you would feel comfortable working through your feelings and frustrations with at the moment? Sometimes I think it can be really important to grieve what our parents are, for whatever reason, unable to give us, in a safe and loving space? I have found that sometimes when I can really process my frustration safely and openly, it creates space for empathy and understanding for where the other person is coming from? I have found in the past, that working through my own emotional response makes it is easier to accept another's behaviour without it meaning anything about me, and I am able to develop, day by day, a sense of love and acceptance for myself while remaining open. However that being said, this is a huge process and it's so hard to maintain sometimes, and as the other lovely mod's and bob's have said, it's important to protect yourself and your space! I am so sorry you are going through this      ... View more

You're awesome @Rosie97! Please know you are not alone in feeling this and it's so bloody awesome you're reaching out, that takes a lot. How are things going since last week? <3  ... View more

Hi @Hope937 ,   I just wanted to say how brave you are for reaching out, and I am so, so sorry for everything you have been through. It is honestly heartbreaking and not something you should have to go through alone. Is there any way you could access some help in dealing with this, or is there anyone you would feel safe confiding in? Would you be open to seeking some professional help?  Again, I am so, so sorry for what you are going through, please know we stand with you  ... View more

Hi @Rosie97,  Thanks so much for posting and welcome to the forum!  Breakups truly are one of the hardest things to go through, especially when it's your first, it's honestly devastating. Can I just say how cool it is that you're even asking these questions, it takes a lot and says a lot about you!     I think the other bobs and mods are right in suggesting some time apart if possible? But I also understand how tricky it can be to take that step when you love someone.   When I was younger and in relationships, and even still sometimes, without meaning to, I would often mistake intimacy for intensity and end up almost addicted to the relationship dynamic, even if it wasn't super good for me! Sometimes I find that just a bit of mental break or a step back can help me re-assess the situation and action what is best for both people, and also help me to build my self-awareness and self-care practice to help me meet my own emotional needs so that when I do come back together with my partner I am able to be present and listen without expecting them to meet those needs for me if that makes sense!    That being said it can be sooo hard to see it sometimes and also to just step back and allow some space! But please know you are not alone in feeling confused and as I said that fact you're even asking the questions is pretty bloody cool. It's definitely allowed to be hard right now and it's awesome to seek support!       ... View more

Hi @clarii3105,  First of all thanks so much for reaching out, I totally understand how you're feeling, it can all be so hard to navigate, especially at the moment! I think it's very important to feel like you have support and can process how you're feeling! However, I understand what you're saying when it can feel like you're putting too much on your partner. At a time when you're feeling okay, could you both have a conversation about your loving boundaries with one another? I know it might sound a bit silly but me and my partner actually have a code word we can use with each other to signal when things get too much - this helps us to communicate rationally when we don't have the resources or self-confidence to do so in the moment!    Also, are there any other people in your life you can chat to (friend or professional), or any tools you have yourself to help you process how you're feeling? Sometimes I find journaling can be a really good place to start! Sometimes even after journaling I still feel like I need to discuss things with someone to help me process and that is totally fair enough, but it just means I have an avenue to help me when I feel down if my partner is also having a bad day and struggling too!        ... View more

Hi @Indieboy14 ,  I totally understand how you feel, it's not petty at all, that's so tricky! In my experience is pretty normal to be super excited in the early stages of a relationship, I think it's pretty normal and can actually be a really lovely time! But that being said I also understand how consuming it can be, props to you for being so courageous and vulnerable, it's not easy! Can you lean into your feelings and trust that things will work out as they're meant to and perhaps keep an open line of communication while you're away? It might even make it that much more special when you finally get back!  ... View more

Hi @xraychick,  Thanks so much for speaking up and sharing, it is such a brave thing to do, especially when you're feeling so low. I'm so sorry to hear it's been so tough, I completely empathise and understand how overwhelming the recovery process can feel at times. Is there anything small you can do for yourself day to day to help ground yourself? Even if it's just going for a 15-minute walk to give yourself some headspace or making time for things you enjoy? Just a tiny habit once a day? Sometimes it can be really hard to put yourself first or believe you are deserving of good things, but please remember you are, always and no matter what! The fact you're aware of what is going on and working to be so open is amazing, please remember how strong that is and how cool it is you're being open and seeking support, you are not alone!  ... View more

Hi @Pyrotechnic,  Thank you so much for sharing and being so courageous and open. I can absolutely understand why you are feeling overwhelmed with a sense of pressure and I can also understand the self-harm. I know some of the other mod's and builders have suggested this, but would you consider either talking to someone in your life that you trust about how your feeling or perhaps confiding in a school counsellor? Sometimes I find professionals can be really helpful in suggesting some alternative tools and strategies to help you have tricky conversations ie. maybe working towards talking to your parents about how you're feeling? However, I know this in itself can be overwhelming so maybe starting smaller could also be good, whether that is chatting to a mate you feel comfortable with from your old school or even just trying to substitute the self-harm for a more constructive outlet/behaviour? I love going for runs, having a really long, hot shower or even doing some journalling - just for me, no one else. I find this can help me to get some of my emotions and thought out and help me to begin to understand them, rather than shaming myself for feeling them - as they are NORMAL! Please know you are not alone and your sharing has helped me too :)  ... View more

Hi @Liliann ,  I hear you, it can be so tough to stay connected after uni, especially with COVID! I hope are you able to re-connect with old friends as restrictions ease, please know you are never alone! :) ... View more

Thanks Bre-RO! :) ... View more

Hi Lillann, I really hear you and empathise with what you're going through, entry-level jobs can be so tricky to find and overwhelming generally - let alone in the middle of a pandemic! But I love what some of the other mod's have said about opening yourself up to different opportunities! I was actually stood down from 3 different jobs in the space of 6 months due to covid and really did struggle with feeling like I'd failed and wasn't good enough, but this turned out to be the kick up the bum I needed to go back to uni and study something totally different! That definitely doesn't mean its all sunshine and roses, some days are hard, but in sharing and exploring, I was able to start finding my feet. Feeling overwhelmed is so normal, and I think you're so brave for reaching out - you also never know what your sharing can do for someone else! I recently reached out to a friend who helped me workshop my CV to meet the selection criteria for each job a little better and I found this super helpful - is there anyone you could ask who is working in your field to lend you a hand? That being said, sometimes I think it's also okay to take a break from looking be gentle with yourself for a little while? Please know you're not alone and that it's normal to feel overwhelmed!  <3   ... View more

Hi everyone, it's lovely to be a part of this awesome community!    How did you first hear about ReachOut and when did you decide to get involved on the forums as a user?I first heard about Reach Out earlier this year when I decided to completely change my occupation in the midst of COVID-19. I was working in the Film and TV industry and decided to go back to uni to take the plunge and follow my passion: mental health! I decided to get involved as a volunteer earlier this year to connect with awesome like-minded people!   What's your favourite post thread? Friday Fives for sure!  Why did you decide to become a Builder? I decided to become a builder because I'm passionate about the wellbeing of young people, probably because I am one myself! I loved the idea of being a part of such a supportive and accepting community, coming together to promote healthy psychosocial wellbeing! What do you do during the day (Study? Work? Hunt ghosts? Fight Crime? Taste cupcakes?)? I am currently studying my master's of counselling and pyschotherapy and work as a mental health support worker. I also am a musician in my free time and am currently launching a solo project.  Do you have any weird hobbies (Train a rubber duck army? Teach lizards Spanish? Learn how to the master the recorder?)? Dog and people watching. Falling over.  What's you're all time favourite TV show? Euphoria! ... View more

What a great thread! Today I practised self-care by allowing myself to not be productive and veg out on the couch in my pyjamas! :) ... View more