Hi @CCZ,  Thankyou so much for your post, as @Hannah-RO mentioned, it sounds like you have showed an incredible amount of courage.  I was just wondering if you currently have anything that you use to help you when you feel low? It could be a strategy or self care activity? I was also wondering if you have or would ever, consider talking to a professional about how you're feeling??   I just also wanted to say that the fact you have posted, been vulnerable and are acknowledging how you feel is very brave. Please remember that it takes such strength of character to reach out and address how we feel, and that IS progress  ... View more

Hi @ferdie22, please do not apologise!    Relationships are so hard to navigate at the best of times, and it sounds like you are very self aware and recognise potential patterns in behaviour which is bloody huge! I was wondering if you have any strategies in place at the moment for when difficult thoughts or feelings arise? Or any self care practices that are just for you?  ... View more

Hi @Bre-RO, thankyou for starting such an awesome thread!    A few things I have found that help me when I feel overwhelmed/stressed/anxious are:   Emotional Tool Kit: - Communicate and express my real feelings constructively rather than trying to feel what 'I think I should feel'.  - Space to cry, be vulnerable and make mistakes  - Self compassion  - Meditation - Self care activities like journalling, playing music, going for long walks and yoga.    Mental Tool Kit: - WRITE IT DOWN! Name the painful thoughts and beliefs.  - Observe my mental dialogue and my self talk from a place of curiosity  - Break large tasks up into smaller portions and prioritise - Organise myself through calendars and lists - Recognise and plan for my patterns of behaviour (ie. get home from work grumpy and stressed, take myself away for 15 minutes of breathing or chill time before interacting with others). -Scheduling in time for feeling!    Physical Tool Kit: - Change my physical space  - Go for a long walk, run or do yoga - Eat well and get sleep!   ... View more

Hi @ferdie22, thankyou so much for sharing here, as @featuringme also said, it is such a normal and valid response! In terms of combatting comparing to others - I was wondering if you have tried allowing those feelings to be a part of your wonderful, day to day human experience? In my own life I am trying (and often failing lol) to practice understanding that it is soooo normal to feel insecure and envious when I feel stuck, and am also trying to recognise that sometimes these feelings can actually inspire some creative and constructive expression if I am gentle with myself and focus on just enjoying the process!  I was also wondering if you would be open to collaborating with others for some inspiration or joining some online communities or forums where people discuss the creative process?  ... View more

That is fantastic to hear @Jardin, please know we are always here for support and best of luck with your studies!  ... View more

Hi @Pleasehelp06,  Thankyou so much for being so open and for sharing, you are not alone. I wanted to add on to what @A_Friend mentioned about practicing being forgiving with yourself - next time you engage in those activities could possibly just observe the thoughts that are going through your mind without judgement and possibly write them down? I have found this useful in the past for my own addictions and shame around myself as it helped having something to refer back to when I sought professional help. It was also interesting to observe my self talk, which was often very shaming and horrible - I asked myself if I would speak to a friend that way, and the answer was always no.  ... View more

Hi @Charlie-29-1999,  as @Bre-RO mentioned, thankyou so much for being so vulnerable and opening up here!    I am so glad to hear that you and your dad have a better relationship these days, and that he apologised for his behaviour and sought help, that's awesome! However, It sounds like there were things you experienced in your childhood that are still causing you some pain? I was wondering if you have spoken openly to anyone else about this or perhaps would consider seeing a professional just to help process how you're feeling?    ... View more

Hi @Jardin,  That sounds really positive, how are things at the moment? And ah awesome, there is nothing better than cruising in summer to music with the windows down!  ... View more

Hi @Jardin,  I just wanted to check in and see how things are going for you at the moment?  ... View more

Hi @Jardin,  I am so sorry to hear about what you're dealing with, sibling relationships can be super complicated and tough to navigate, and it's totally understandable you're worried about your things! I was wondering, are your parents aware of the relationship dynamic/could you potentially have a facilitated discussion (with your parents) with your sister about how you're feeling/about your boundaries? Maybe setting some house rules could help?  ... View more

Hi @jakeishere,  I just wanted to say that I know it may not feel like it right now, but you are worthy of love and belonging no matter what And reaching out to talk about hard feelings is nothing short of bloody brave. I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through and that your parents don't seem to be in a place to understand. I know the other mod's and bob's have mentioned it but is it possible for you to seek some professional help or chat to anyone at all about how you're feeling?  ... View more

Hi @Love_elmo77, Thanks so much for reaching out  I really hear what you're saying, being in social environments like workplaces or volunteer organisations can be really confronting/tricky as sometimes people aren't always aware of how their words or actions affect others, and it can be hard not to take that personally and worry. Please know it says more about what's going on for them than it does about you!    I was wondering, are there other people in the organisation who are nicer to you or people you would feel comfortable chatting to about it? :) ... View more

Hi @Kyy,  Welcome and thank you so much for reaching out  Please know it is very normal and okay to feel overwhelmed and we are here to support you! Is there anything specific that has been going on for you?    ... View more

Hi @Jardin,    Thank you for reaching out I just wanted to check in and say that I completely relate to feeling trapped and also completely understand a desire to be in control, please know you are not alone in this. I hope this helps, but over the years I have realised that I feel anxious and trapped when I am not living my own values, putting loving and healthy boundaries in place, or when I am compromising my self-expression. It's like a warning system to tell me I am living from a role rather than my true self. I feel trapped when I get caught up in what I think are "should's" and "have to's", rather than listening to what is in my heart. That isn't to say there aren't things we need to do in life that we might not want to, it's more that my thoughts around certain situations make me feel like I have no choice. Is there a way/safe space where you can explore what thoughts make you feel trapped from a place of curiosity? I find it can even be helpful to write them down as they occur and then take them in with me to see my psych so I can get the most out of the session. Also how is it going with the job and your parents since you posted?  ... View more

Hey @ferdie22,  Please know you are not alone in those behaviours I bloody hear you! It can be so hard to undo old habits and learn to value ourselves, but the fact you are here, talking about how you feel is bloody awesome! <3 I just wanted to check-in and see how you're going with it all this week?  ... View more

Hi @Hope937,  I just wanted to check-in and see how things are going with you? Please know we stand with you in any way we can  ... View more

Hi @James99,  Thank you so much for sharing! This is such a cool reminder that we get to chose how our life turns out! I really needed to hear this today so thankyou! :D ... View more

Hi @Tiny_leaf,  I am so so sorry to hear about your car crash, it is honestly so jarring and scary. I was in a bad car crash a few years ago and it was strange how it affected me - the feelings were almost more intense the weeks after once the shock had worn off, and I was very jumpy for a long while after. I just wanted to check in to see if today has been a bit better than yesterday? I was also wondering if you have been able to chat with anyone about how you're feeling?  ... View more

Hi @Clementine75,  Thank you for reaching out!  I completely understand feeling anxious and overwhelmed when it comes to making choices, especially when it feels like there is pressure to make a choice, like @Hannah-RO said it is so exhausting! I was wondering if you have been able to have an open conversation with your mum about how you're feeling at all? Maybe at a time when things are more relaxed? That being said that can be really hard if the other person isn't in a space to listen, I think what @Hannah-RO also said about potentially finding some support to build strategies could be a good idea?  ... View more

Hi @ferdie22,  Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing! I really do hear you about feeling lonely, isolated and unappreciated, especially at the moment with COVID restrictions. I also totally understand how heartbreaking it can be when your friends ghost you with no explanation, it really is so hard to take sometimes. I was going to ask how you're going with self-care/doing things for yourself? I know this might sound silly but in times in my life where I have felt really lonely, I've found that in practising being kind to myself, and in being my own friend, I was able to shift my energy into a place of self-worth and actually ended up attracting amazing relationships. I was also better equipped to reach out and heal old relationships from a place of greater confidence! In doing so I also realised that a part of me didn't feel good enough for friends for a long time, and that I was subconsciously sabotaging my relationships because I believed this deep down, but through self-compassion, I was able to start addressing this and choosing and living in the space of "I deserve good!" Which we all do no matter what! <3  ... View more

Hi @Yin,    That is such a tough situation and I hear you with all my heart re the feeling of isolation and grief, I'm so sorry this has been so hard What you chose to do for your ex was incredibly selfless and it takes such strength of character to make a choice like that, but please don't forget to hold some space for yourself as well, you are so deserving of love and friendship! Sometimes it can be easy to let out own needs fall to the wayside in these situations and you sound so compassionate and honest, are you able to direct some of that compassion inwards? I'm so glad to hear that you reached out to your mates and that they were understanding, but please remember that you deserve nothing less than that! Is stuff okay with your new bf now?  ... View more

Hi @Bella2 , thankyou so much for starting this conversation!    - during this tough time did you find enough support on reachout.com?   I'm in a similar boat to @Sunnybear, @Tay100 and @November13 but ReachOut has been an amazing way to connect with people, come together and support one another during a really tough time!    - During this time did you wish you did something differently to make the situation better?   I wish I was more present in each moment and was able to appreciate the downtime and practice a bit more self-acceptance and compassion during lockdown! I wouldn't usually make the time to be truly introspective and reflect on the important things in life.    - what new skill did you pick up during this time?   I actually did a total career swap! I was working in film and TV and am now studying my Masters in Counselling and working in mental health, so this has been a big change!    - did you catch up on things you wanted to do for a while   I was doing lots of yoga and walking and focused a bit more on my music project. However, I also tried to let myself be unmotivated and binge Netflix too!  ... View more

Hi @Rosie97 , firstly happy birthday for last week! I hope you had a lovely day! I'm a fellow Scorpio too!    As @StormySeas17 mentioned, I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to continue chatting, but  I think it's just about going into it with open eyes and being clear about expectations. At the end of the day we are all human and it is SO NORMAL to miss what feels familiar and comfy, but maybe it's more about just checking in with yourself to observe what your motivations are for reconnecting and then being open and clear about the boundaries for the relationship? It can be so bloody hard, but either way, you will both learn and grow from this and it is another chance to practice trusting in yourself! ROCK ON!  ... View more

Hi @sukidakedo,  Thank you so much for sharing, and I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, exploring your sexual identity as a young person is daunting enough without added pressures!   Although it sounds like your mum loves you very much, it can be so hard when parents impose their values or point of view, even when their intention is to protect us. Is there someone in your life or even a professional you would feel comfortable working through your feelings and frustrations with at the moment? Sometimes I think it can be really important to grieve what our parents are, for whatever reason, unable to give us, in a safe and loving space? I have found that sometimes when I can really process my frustration safely and openly, it creates space for empathy and understanding for where the other person is coming from? I have found in the past, that working through my own emotional response makes it is easier to accept another's behaviour without it meaning anything about me, and I am able to develop, day by day, a sense of love and acceptance for myself while remaining open. However that being said, this is a huge process and it's so hard to maintain sometimes, and as the other lovely mod's and bob's have said, it's important to protect yourself and your space! I am so sorry you are going through this      ... View more

You're awesome @Rosie97! Please know you are not alone in feeling this and it's so bloody awesome you're reaching out, that takes a lot. How are things going since last week? <3  ... View more

Hi @Hope937 ,   I just wanted to say how brave you are for reaching out, and I am so, so sorry for everything you have been through. It is honestly heartbreaking and not something you should have to go through alone. Is there any way you could access some help in dealing with this, or is there anyone you would feel safe confiding in? Would you be open to seeking some professional help?  Again, I am so, so sorry for what you are going through, please know we stand with you  ... View more

Hi @Rosie97,  Thanks so much for posting and welcome to the forum!  Breakups truly are one of the hardest things to go through, especially when it's your first, it's honestly devastating. Can I just say how cool it is that you're even asking these questions, it takes a lot and says a lot about you!     I think the other bobs and mods are right in suggesting some time apart if possible? But I also understand how tricky it can be to take that step when you love someone.   When I was younger and in relationships, and even still sometimes, without meaning to, I would often mistake intimacy for intensity and end up almost addicted to the relationship dynamic, even if it wasn't super good for me! Sometimes I find that just a bit of mental break or a step back can help me re-assess the situation and action what is best for both people, and also help me to build my self-awareness and self-care practice to help me meet my own emotional needs so that when I do come back together with my partner I am able to be present and listen without expecting them to meet those needs for me if that makes sense!    That being said it can be sooo hard to see it sometimes and also to just step back and allow some space! But please know you are not alone in feeling confused and as I said that fact you're even asking the questions is pretty bloody cool. It's definitely allowed to be hard right now and it's awesome to seek support!       ... View more

Hi @clarii3105,  First of all thanks so much for reaching out, I totally understand how you're feeling, it can all be so hard to navigate, especially at the moment! I think it's very important to feel like you have support and can process how you're feeling! However, I understand what you're saying when it can feel like you're putting too much on your partner. At a time when you're feeling okay, could you both have a conversation about your loving boundaries with one another? I know it might sound a bit silly but me and my partner actually have a code word we can use with each other to signal when things get too much - this helps us to communicate rationally when we don't have the resources or self-confidence to do so in the moment!    Also, are there any other people in your life you can chat to (friend or professional), or any tools you have yourself to help you process how you're feeling? Sometimes I find journaling can be a really good place to start! Sometimes even after journaling I still feel like I need to discuss things with someone to help me process and that is totally fair enough, but it just means I have an avenue to help me when I feel down if my partner is also having a bad day and struggling too!        ... View more

Hi @Indieboy14 ,  I totally understand how you feel, it's not petty at all, that's so tricky! In my experience is pretty normal to be super excited in the early stages of a relationship, I think it's pretty normal and can actually be a really lovely time! But that being said I also understand how consuming it can be, props to you for being so courageous and vulnerable, it's not easy! Can you lean into your feelings and trust that things will work out as they're meant to and perhaps keep an open line of communication while you're away? It might even make it that much more special when you finally get back!  ... View more

Hi @xraychick,  Thanks so much for speaking up and sharing, it is such a brave thing to do, especially when you're feeling so low. I'm so sorry to hear it's been so tough, I completely empathise and understand how overwhelming the recovery process can feel at times. Is there anything small you can do for yourself day to day to help ground yourself? Even if it's just going for a 15-minute walk to give yourself some headspace or making time for things you enjoy? Just a tiny habit once a day? Sometimes it can be really hard to put yourself first or believe you are deserving of good things, but please remember you are, always and no matter what! The fact you're aware of what is going on and working to be so open is amazing, please remember how strong that is and how cool it is you're being open and seeking support, you are not alone!  ... View more