What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days? I could: Go outside for some fresh air  Do some meditation/breathing exercises  Schedule a day where I just chill and not do much There are many things we can do to be kinder to ourselves, this is just mine. Participating in this chat has been a wonderful + insightful experience, I've learnt so much  ... View more

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves? How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves? I think we should try to remember that different forms of self-care can work differently for everyone. For example, listening to relaxing music is often recommended as a form of self-care. However, I find that just listening to any song I enjoy will help with my wellbeing, whether if it is pop, rock or a bit more sombre. This is because I love to visualise things when I listen to music, so anything will suit me. Ultimately, we should be open-minded and willing to experiment with different forms of self-care. I think we should also be generous to ourselves. If you want to do lots of forms of self-care, that's great! We should allow ourselves those extra days off work, to have some alone-time, etc.   Having a supportive network of people beside you will help immensely with self-care. They can provide you positive affirmations and check on your wellbeing. If we're struggling with being kind to ourselves, we can also consider therapy. Therapists listen to you without judgement, and will guide you through your troubles.    Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time? Last year, I had a final exam for uni. As a first-year, I had no idea what uni exams would be like, so it was quite stressful. It was also worth a lot, so it added extra stress to an already stressful situation. I think I can confidently say that I didn't handle it in the best way . It was a 24 hour online exam, and I pretty much pulled an all-nighter to finish it. I didn't go outside for a walk, or to get some fresh air. If I could go back to that day, I would take more frequent breaks away from my computer, and go outside for some fresh air. I would also try not to pull an all-nighter. Tbh this one is quite challenging, because maintaining good grades can be a big priority, especially for people who need good grades for their course. However, I think we should be mindful that our wellbeing should always be prioritised, so we should aim to have a good night's rest before anything else. Finally, I would've been extra kind to myself the day after. For me, that would mean chilling at home, indulging in some tasty treats, listening to music and watching tv shows/youtube. That would've helped to reduce my stress from the previous day.   ... View more

Hey guys! Welcome to the fourth day of the SLOW-MO GR! The responses to the questions so far have been a pleasure to read through, they're so insightful and thoughtful    Here's today's question: Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?   Looking forward to the responses for the next few questions! Wishing everyone a wonderful day    ... View more

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)? It definitely can. Having beneficial and helpful thoughts can help us to have healthier approaches to things, such as work, relationships, etc. On the other hand, having negative beliefs about ourselves can lead to us having negative and damaging approaches. How we talk to ourselves is heavily linked to our physical and mental wellbeing, which is why being kind to ourselves is so important. ... View more

Looking forward to seeing the responses for this chat! Already loving what I've seen so far.   What does being kind to ourselves mean? I think it means looking after ourselves, and I associate it with self-care. Physically, we can take care of ourselves by exercising, eating well and getting enough rest. Looking after ourselves physically can also help our mental health. We could also listen to music, meditate, and have breaks from stressful things like work or school. We can be kind to ourselves in many different ways, and whatever way we choose is valid! Who we interact with can also have drastic effects on our wellbeing. Looking after ourselves can also involve setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with supportive and caring people.    Why is important? Being kind to ourselves is important for our mental health. Looking after ourselves ensures that we stay healthy physically and mentally. Although being kind to ourselves is important, there are a lot of obstacles that can prevent that from happening. In society, for example, I feel like there is too much emphasis placed on success and achievement. This can be a dangerous mindset, for people will feel obligated to sacrifice their wellbeing to achieve this.    Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself? Last week, I bought a shelf for my bedroom. I've become stingy recently, so buying expensive items makes me feel uneasy. But, I haven't bought anything expensive in a while, so I decided to buy it. Whilst it's important to make sure we don't spend too much money, I should be more open to treating myself to a few items. ... View more

Hi @Macaria, I'm sorry you went through that. Going to the hospital by yourself is daunting, and I think many other people will agree with me. Being able to go there on your own, especially during these troubling times, is an amazing feat! I hope you have a speedy recovery, and the ReachOut community is here for you  ... View more

Thanks everyone for the chat! To everyone else who reads this chat later, hope you enjoy the thread. Hope you all have a wonderful new year!  ... View more

How will you look after yourself and people you care about in the coming year? (This could be what you will do, who you surround yourself with, how you manage challenges, etc). I should try and check on my friends more, and send more memes to them. I should also try to engage in more self-care, especially exercising since I've been slacking off recently.  ... View more

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 these gifs are great, definitely not going overboard with them    More broadly, what are your hopes and fears for the wider world in 2021? Is there anything you can do to address these concerns and hopes? What is something that is reasonable and in your control that you could do? This may be a v optimistic hope, but I want the world to become more peaceful in 2021. In 2020, I've learnt a lot about the injustices and oppression people are facing throughout the world. I hope that these can be effectively addressed, and that people will stop hurting others. I've been learning much of this from instagram, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. When this happens, I can take a break from insta and indulge in some self-care. To help people learn about the injustices others are facing, I can share the info. I've come across with others. I think sharing the knowledge I've seen can help foster tolerance and peace. I can't control their reactions to the info I share, and I can't control their attitude. But, at least trying to inform people about these issues will be useful. ... View more

@WheresMySquishy That gif is *chefs kiss*... a perfect summary of 2020    Is there anything you would like to change going into the new year? (This could be anything- big or small. It could be something related to self-care, your relationships, goals, your openness to experience, trying something new, etc.) I would like to try and work on my anxiety. Recently, I feel like I've been having more useful thoughts to help combat my anxiety, and I would love for that to occur more often! This one's a very casual goal, but I want to eat out at new restaurants. With COVID I'm not sure how achievable this will be, but I want to try foods from different cultures :D ... View more

What are some things in 2021 you’re looking forward to or wanting to achieve? Is there something you’re not looking forward to or worried about? How might you apply any lessons you learnt in 2020 to approach these hopes and fears? I'm looking forward to the possibility that life will return to normal. I'm hopeful that COVID vaccines will be released and will work, but I'm also cautious that this may not happen. I'm also excited to continue my job, because it's one I enjoy quite a lot! The uncertainty of things to come in the new year is something I don't like thinking about. With so many things happening in 2020, I feel like my uncertainty about the future has grown a lot. However, I've also learnt a lot of self-care and mental health tips this year. I'll use them to help me approach my hopes and fears. ... View more

@WheresMySquishy @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @celestialdreamer @A_Friend Wow...you all should be rly proud of yourselves for overcoming your personal challenges! Sharing your struggles is such a brave thing to do, I think a lot of other people who read through this chat will be grateful for sharing your stories ... View more

What are some good things that happened for you in 2020, or what’s something you are proud of achieving? What were some challenges for you or people you care about? 2020 felt like the year I "became an adult". I started going to uni, and I got my first job. I also encountered problems that I feel are common amongst adults, like sleeping difficulties. My mental health also hit new lows due to personal circumstances, and COVID didn't help either. As someone who has social anxiety and has great difficulty making friends, attending uni classes without friends was quite a lonely experience. Uni results have also been a bit more underwhelming than I would've liked, which added to my stress and anxiety. 2020, like for many others, has been ... a unique year, to say the least  ... View more

@celestialdreamer I love the plans you've got so far, I should probably try to do these things as well!  ... View more

@WheresMySquishy That's such a wholesome way to bring in the new year! Although I don't play animal crossing, I know a lot of my friends do and I've heard about it a lot. Now I feel like playing it lol xD ... View more

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 Haha I'm no good at making new years resolutions either  I act more spontaneous and don't like following plans, so trying to stick to resolutions is v challenging. I don't think people should feel compelled to make resolutions just because it's something society does. We develop and grow in our own unique ways, so new years resolutions shouldn't be the only way to do so. ... View more

What does the start of a new year mean to you? Is it a significant time? What will your approach to it be this year, compared to years past? (This could be in terms of immediate plans for New Years or your general approach for the year!) For me, the start of a new year feels like the chance for new opportunities to arise. When the new year arrives, I usually feel like I'm asking myself, "what will happen this year?". I usually do this in an optimistic manner, but tbh I'm not entirely sure why. I think it's because the new year is considered a celebratory event, so I feel more positive about it. It definitely feels like a significant moment to me, but for me it fades relatively quickly as the days pass. I think with 2020 being such a chaotic year, I'll be more hopeful than usual for the new year. ... View more

Thanks for the tag @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , keen for tonight's GR! May not be able to stick around for all the questions, but I'm ready to reflect on the rollercoaster year 2020 has been  ... View more

Hi @jakeishere I'm so sorry you're going through this. The other posts have already inquired about reaching out for professional help, which is definitely something I support. I'm especially sorry that you're parents are dismissing your problems. Your concerns are completely valid, and they should not be comparing your problems with theirs. Thank you for reaching out to us on this forum, we're here for you if you need to talk some more  ... View more

I've learnt that how you spend your holidays is up to you. If you want a break from socializing and want some alone time, that's fine. If you want to volunteer, that's fine. Whatever you feel like doing, feel free to do it! Setting clear boundaries is a great way to ensure you spend your holidays how you want. I'll put a link to a discussion about boundaries, hopefully this will be useful to anyone who needs it: https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/Setting-Boundaries-Special-Discussion/td-p/390443  ... View more

What are some strategies you will use to cope with stress during the festive season? Do you have any holiday-specific self-care ideas? For me, one of the most stressful things is probably visiting extended family. Don't get me wrong, I love them all very much, but ... socialising isn't a strength of mine. To help me get through it, I use strategies I would use with other social situations: take a few breaths if needed, make sure I treat myself to some self-care to lift my spirits, etc.  I don't really have any holiday-specific self-care ideas, tbh. I just indulge in the same things I usually do, such as watching tv shows and relaxing. This might be because I don't celebrate xmas, but counting down to the new year always gets me excited. I guess participating in festive activities is in itself a holiday-specific self-care idea, but that's just what I enjoy. I think if you want to keep doing the same self-care tricks during the holiday season, that's totally fine! ... View more

Tagging some people who might be interested in this chat!  @GioDes @beabea @Mia238 @Sunnybear @belski @jlw13 @Bella2 @nixh @Emlo @mol1912 @James99 @Turtle22 @th967 @Liliann @Macaria @Bubbles99 @Jazz12 @clarii3105 @Shazam @Vespertine @Jeiraffe @Spicypumpkin @buildingforbetterment @JasminH @chillspace  ... View more

Are you looking forward to the holiday season? Why/why not? What are your favourite and/or least favourite things about the holidays? I'll start off the chat, yes I am looking forward to the holiday season this year! Holidays for me are a huge break from the chaos of school and work. I tend to stay at home and relax, rather than going out a lot. That's my fav part of the holidays, just getting some time to recharge and not worry about other things.    My least favourite thing is the expectation that you spend your holidays productively. I feel like with the extra free time we get, society kinda expects us to use it "wisely". A part of me also wants to use my time doing "useful" things, such as cleaning/reorganising my room, cooking all the time, going out all the time, etc. Whilst its important to do things like exercising and maintaining my health, it's totally valid for me to spend my holidays not doing a lot. I don't think I should feel pressured to do "productive" activities just because I have more free time.  ... View more

Hi everyone, and welcome to the first day of the SLOW-MO GR! Today's question is: Are you looking forward to the holiday season? Why/why not? What are your favourite and/or least favourite things about the holidays?     ... View more

Omg I used to collect Littlest Pet Shop toys when I was a smol child  I spent a looot of my free time playing with the LPS and I watched a lot of LPS videos on Youtube lol ... View more

Hey @Anonymous I'm so sorry you had to experience that. As someone who just studied three arts units at university this sem, it's very disheartening to hear that he doesn't support it. You have the right to do whatever you want, and I think the arts in general just gets a lot of slack    I think other people here on ReachOut have suggested that you could talk to a school counsellor or therapist of some sorts if you need to. If you ever want more support or want to talk, ReachOut is a safe space and we'll welcome you with open arms! ... View more

What are some ways we can cope with stress that arises from trying to manage our own and others experience of happiness? I think an important thing to remember is that we can only help others so much. Of course we can and should provide support to others, but if we feel burdened from the help we are giving others, we can set some boundaries and have a break. When managing our own happiness, it can be stressful. If we need some help, we can always reach out to others, and seek some professional support. We can allow ourselves to feel unhappiness and anger if we need to. In the long-term, it is better to let these emotions out when we feel too stressed from managing our happiness, rather than bottling them up.  ... View more

Ooh this is an interesting question! There are things we can definitely do to help regulate our emotions. For example, if we enjoy eating certain foods, then we can indulge in some tasty treats. And we can definitely make others happy! If we help others out, hang out with others and make them feel valued, they will appreciate your efforts. At the same time, I think I would be lying if I claimed to always make others happy Sometimes, we unintentionally say or do things to happen, and that's okay! And sometimes, we feel unhappy, and that's okay as well. Although I don't go out of my way to feel unhappy, I don't try my absolute hardest to be the happiest person ever. I allow myself to feel unhappiness if needed, and let myself feel happiness as well! ... View more

Hey everyone! Sorry I'm a bit late  Loving the chat so far, a very important topic to be talking about!   How important is happiness to you? Have your views about happiness changed throughout your life? How do these attitudes affect your daily life? To me, happiness has always been an important part of my life. However, my views on happiness have changed. I've learnt that people feel happiness in different ways, and that there is no one way to experience it. And they are all valid! For example, as an introvert, I am happier when I've got time to myself. I've also learnt that we don't always need to be happy, and that this is also normal. These views have been really helpful, since I feel as though I do not need to bottle up my emotions and true self. ... View more

Hi @Pasta I also miss how simple life was when I was younger, and I think a lot of people will understand this as well. I'm glad you're finding a place where you feel free, and I'm sorry for everything you've gone through. I really admire your desire to change lives + have an impact, and I wish you the best of luck for the future  ... View more