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James99
Builder
since
08-10-2020
09-01-2021
15
Posts
41
Kudos
0
Solutions
05-12-2020
04:44 PM
3 Kudos
Hey @boombamshazam it can be really tough when people can't quite understand what you're going through and it sounds like that is taking a bit of a toll on you. I get the sense that your difficulty understanding your current feelings is also taking its toll as well. It sounds like it must be rather stressful and perhaps confusing trying to wrap your head around why you feel this way. If you would be comfortable with it, I would recommend seeking some one-on-one help from a mental health professional, but I will give you some advice from my own experience and knowledge. I think identifying some of the behaviours or activities that you used to enjoy and setting some time aside to do that activity would be a good start. For instance, going for a run for 30 minutes, reading a book you love, playing an instrument or another activity that had elicited joy for in the past. Even if they don't currently elicit the same joy recurrently doing them may help in time, as well as give you a sense of achievement. I would also suggest talking to any friends or family or other support networks that may help you stay motivated to complete said activities. Regarding the situations were you find it difficult to look past the worst possible situation, I would suggest writing down this fear and analysing the evidence for and against whether that event will come true, I've found this to be super helpful in my own experiences with anxiety. I hope this helps in some way, thank you so much for sharing your experience
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01-12-2020
10:37 AM
2 Kudos
Hey @Anonymous, so glad to hear you have someone supportive in your life to talk to about this, your friend sounds really good for you. I can't say I've been in your situation, and I think everyone's experiences are different. The only tip I could give you is to just be honest, transparent and above all be yourself and be proud of who you are. Perhaps telling your friend that you have something important to tell them before coming out might help set the scene a bit, but as always do what feels right for you
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30-11-2020
04:04 PM
5 Kudos
Hey guys, I wanted to share a really cool aspect of the brain I learnt about while studying psychology at uni. The brain was for a long time thought to be unchangeable after childhood and fixed as such for the rest of our lives. This, we now know, is not the case. The brain is ever changing and always has the ability to change. I'll try and explain this the best I can. Essentially, when you do a behaviour, act in a certain way or even think in a certain way, the action is reinforced over time through pathways in the brain. But here comes the cool bit. Those pathways can also be weakened and changed over time. So here's an example to try and make sense of this. Let's say I have the thought that people are always looking at me in social settings. If I was to challenge and change this belief, and ultimately feel more comfortable in those situations, I would literally be rewiring my brain to act in a different way. When I learnt about this it was a bit of an eye opener because it means there is always a chance to change, no matter who you are or what you have experienced. Hope this makes sense xoxo
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16-11-2020
12:47 PM
2 Kudos
Hey @Agenderandproudofit hope you are feeling okay today. It sounds like you've been through a lot of difficult situations as a result of your health. I think by speaking up and talking about your experiences you've demonstrated a lot of courage and that's something you should be really proud of . I think for a lot of people it can be very hard to 'fit it', and I imagine that your experiences with mental health might make this a bit harder. Do you think there might be situations where you and your cricket team could engage in an activity that you are more comfortable with? We will always be here for you if you need an outlet for problems that you may be having. I might also suggest considering seeking professional mental health help as well (if you're not already) and seeing if that has a positive impact on the issues you are facing.
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16-11-2020
12:20 PM
Thanks @Tay100. That sounds like such a good idea, I'm gonna have to try that out next time I'm procrastinating some study
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06-11-2020
12:20 PM
2 Kudos
Hey, @Rosie97 glad to hear that may help. If you do get a chance I would also suggest really connecting with how you feel at those moments when you are out of the house. In my experience, I find it much more motivating the next time around when thinking back to how it made me feel. Like I said before, it's really helped me when I've felt particularly anxious in similar situations to what you're going through. Also, I found some other good activities that may help take your mind off things for a bit, hope some of these will help you Playing Sport, g oing for a run by the beach, sitting amongst nature, playing an instrument, doing visual art, playing video games, watching a movie, listening to music (the happy kind ), rearranging your room, baking/cooking, meditation
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05-11-2020
12:38 PM
5 Kudos
Hey @Rosie97 welcome to ReachOut . It sounds like this must quite a difficult situation, especially it being your first relationship with lots of emotions flying around like the anxiety and confusion you mentioned. Would you consider spending some time apart if you can? I've found this usually helps to get some perspective on the situation and being physically away may also release some of the tension and anxiety you're feeling. In my experience, getting out of the house and either exercising or just sitting next to the sea or under a tree helped relieve some of those anxious feelings and allowed for some self-reflection. Hope some of this helps, always here to talk
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05-11-2020
12:27 PM
1 Kudo
Absolutely!! I found it helped me feel more accountable for doing the things I set out to do. This was especially the case when looking at the pros and cons. Keeping a journal with a to-do list was also super helpful as I felt a sense of achievement when ticking something off the list. I also found I was and am more aware of when a lapse is occurring and I try to then go back and reflect on why I am doing a certain activity. All this stuff has helped me heaps in terms of exercising daily, especially reflecting on pros and cons and really embracing the feeling of accomplishment. Hope this helped @Hannah-RO
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02-11-2020
01:17 PM
6 Kudos
Hey everyone, hope you are all doing well in this wacky time. I wanted to write about the importance of understanding lapses and relapses when trying to change a behaviour or start a new routine or activity. For those who are unsure of the differences between these phrases: a lapse is a momentary return to a previously undesired behaviour, whereas a relapse is a full return to a previously undesired behaviour. For instance let's say I want to exercise for 30 minutes a day and for two days in a row I don't do exercise but the next day I do. We could consider this a lapse. If, however, I was to abstain from exercising all-together we could call that a relapse. Such terms tend to be associated with a form of addiction. Although it is true that such lapses and relapses are common in addiction, it is also the case when trying to make virtually any sort of major behavioural change. I think before trying to make a change in our lives it can be super helpful to create a sort of preparation list for if or when a lapse occurs. By doing this we can try and alleviate the possibility of a full-blown relapse occurring and help us stay on the right track . Just like buying running shoes before taking up jogging creating oneself a relapse prevention plan can help you run those extra miles. I've got a couple of sample questions that may be worth considering before creating a major change 1. Why did I start the activity in the first place, what do I want to achieve? 2. Who are some people I can talk to if I slip back into old habits? 3. Who are some people who can encourage me? 3. What are the benefits of sticking with this activity? 4. How do I feel when I have completed this activity? 5. What are the pros and cons of continuing this activity or routine?
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02-11-2020
12:36 PM
1 Kudo
Hey @Panda_ thank-you for being super brave and sharing your story. Those last few years sound like they must have been really difficult, I think you have every right to be really proud of your growth especially with all you've been through. As well, your ability to recognise and be grateful for what you now have is awesome and speaks to your insight and positive outlook on where you are now despite such a huge few years. I'm glad to hear that you reached out and got help from a therapist and thats great that its going well, I know that can be really difficult for a lot of people to take that step. I can imagine the feelings of loneliness that you described may feel quite pressing particularly when it's hard to understand where it may have come from at the beginning. I think everyone's experiences are different but I have had patterns of thoughts similar to what you described here. For me I found it helpful to think about or write down what I mean to other people I am close with and what positive aspects I add to their lives (usually every couple days). It sounds like you have some really great friends now and I'm sure there is a lot you do to add to their lives. Hope this helps in some way
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22-10-2020
01:15 PM
Thank you for sharing @Macaria. Sounds like you're truly someone who cares for others and shows genuine concern for the wellbeing of your friends, even those you are not particularly close to. I can imagine it must have been a stressful time especially after hearing little concern from "A" and being aware of your friend's struggles with depression. Your friend is very lucky to have someone caring and understanding, I'm sure it means a lot to her. If you want to talk about this more, we are always here to listen and help
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22-10-2020
12:16 PM
4 Kudos
How did you first hear about ReachOut and when did you decide to get involved on the forums as a user? I think the first time I heard of ReachOut was my first year of uni when I became more aware of different online spaces for mental health and everyday help. I wanted to become a user as a way of both putting skills I've learned into practice and developing some experience as I recently got my undergrad psychology degree woo-hoo! What's your favourite post thread? Looking through the threads I really like the "looking after mental health is an everyday commitment" as in my experience it's easy to forget how important doing things for your mental health is daily rather than just when things start feeling tough. Why did you decide to become a Builder? I am really happy that I was able to complete my undergrad psych degree and really want to be able to help people in the best way I can through the skills I've learned What do you do during the day (Study? Work? Hunt ghosts? Fight Crime? Taste cupcakes?)? At the moment I am hoping to study a master's of social work in early 2021 and am currently looking for work that I can do as a bit of a side hustle. Do you have any weird hobbies (Train a rubber duck army? Teach lizards Spanish? Learn how to the master the recorder?)? I like to play guitar most days. I also love collecting records that I'm into. What's you're all time favourite TV show? Hard to go past Seinfeld, always puts a smile on my face.
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20-10-2020
01:54 PM
1 Kudo
So relatable, right. Glad to hear that this helped :)
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18-10-2020
03:23 PM
9 Kudos
Hey everyone, I learnt a lot of interesting things when I studied psychology and wanted to share something we learnt known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is mostly based around mindfulness practice and living your life according to your values. I find its a really good way to understanding anxiety and the cycle of how anxiety about anxiety builds and leads to more anxiety. In ACT, there is a concept called the struggle switch. The idea is that when people struggle with there anxiety they may think "why won't this go away", "I hate this anxiety". For a lot of people, myself included, this is a little familiar and this is the struggle switch turned on. When the switch is turned off, it's more like we're acknowledging and accepting the presence of anxiety but putting our investment into areas that lineup with our values. I put a little video below that explains it much better than I can and I think it can be really helpful for y'all :).
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My Recent High Fives Received
Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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3 | 05-12-2020 04:44 PM | |
2 | 01-12-2020 10:37 AM | |
5 | 30-11-2020 04:04 PM | |
2 | 16-11-2020 12:47 PM | |
2 | 06-11-2020 12:20 PM |
My Recent High Fives Given
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Date Registered | 08-10-2020 05:40 PM |
Date Last Visited | 09-01-2021 05:53 PM |
Total Messages Posted | 15 |
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