Hello lovely people,  I am hoping you can provide me with a little bit of advice about a situation I’m currently going through with my best friend.  I have been best friends with S for 11 years now and we’ve always had a really strong friendship but as we’ve gotten older and we’re growing into our adult lives I have noticed a change in our friendship and her attitude. Of course as we grow up we all naturally change but my friend doesn’t seem okay with the changes that I am making in my life to better myself.  I have noticed, especially in the last year, a major shift in our friendship. I think one of the biggest things contributing to this is the fact that we are both in relationships now. Before meeting my partner, S and I used to spend a lot of time together - we would hang out at least a couple of times a week. We also had a lot more time on our hands to spend this time together. Now I am a full time student and I work part time as well as trying to spend time with my partner, family and friends so I have a lot less time to spend S. I understand that it’s a bit of an adjustment (for the both of us) but I also understand she has a lot going on in her life too and I’m fully supportive of her doing her thing. I loved when we did get to catch up though, if it was once a week or every two weeks. However, S becomes bitter and cold towards me if I do not see or message her every few days. Then when I do send her a message, she flat out ignores me. For example, I got a really great opportunity at work the other day and I was excited to tell my friends about it and get some advice so I sent some messages and I still haven’t heard anything from S (this was 3 days ago). This has started to become a bit of a regular occurrence from her, over text and in person.  I have started to realise the very different reactions I get from my other friends in comparison to S. At first I thought I was overreacting but after seeing how happy and supportive my other friends are for me, I’m thinking maybe I’m not.  When we have hung out recently, it’s been a lot different to what it used to be and I have felt unfulfilled by our time together. We have had a few sleepovers in the last year where she has made me feel pretty terrible. I have felt pressured to drink and she has called me things like a “piece of shit” or ugly. She has apologised for these things, almost instantly or after I brought them up and I sincerely believe her apology but it still doesn’t feel nice. I just don’t think these are the type of things a friend should say to you.  I also know her boyfriend can play a bit of a role in what she thinks about me. She turns to her boyfriend to talk about me a lot (which I wouldn’t have a major problem with if it were done in a nice way and was to seek advice) but I once saw a message where he called me a bitch and she did nothing to defend me or disagree. No matter what, if my partner called S that I would be very upset.   The very last thing is about our mutual friendships (or lack thereof). S doesn’t have too many friends so a couple of years ago I introduced her to some of my closest high school friends. They really liked S and everyone seemed to get on quite well until maybe a year ago. When we would all hang S would kind of ignore them, choosing to only talk to me or would just constantly be on her phone. This has become a lot more evident in recent times. I recently had a party and S knew at least 75% of the people at this party, however, for the entire night she chose only to speak to me or her family. She did not say a single hello to any of my friends that she has spent a big chunk of time with. This has rather annoyed me and made me upset.  S just hasn’t seemed willing to make any effort (sometimes with me) but especially with my loved ones. She has a very weird attitude towards our friendship and has tried to refer to herself as my “one and only friend”. Other people have mentioned that she has seemed a bit possessive over me and only wants to be friends when it benefits her. I’m not too sure what to do - is confronting her and having a conversation about all of this the way to go or maybe just deciding that it’s time to let the friendship go with the amount of stress and unhappiness this has been causing me. 11 years is a really long time and I’ve got lots of incredible memories with her but lately it has felt very hard to want to be friends with her.  I’m sorry for the long ramble and giving you my whole life story. I’d really appreciate any advice or if you've been in a similar situation and what you did. Thank you in advance!  ... View more