Hi everyone,   I'm currently doing a online degree and because I am staying home and studying and socialising less with real people, I am more comfortable with being on social media and interacting with cyber people. The friends I had previously (in real life) are not very interested in being my friend and I am usually the one who makes the effort to keep in touch. I decided to not talk to them until they talk to me because I am always the person who starts the conversation.    I use Google+ to interact with others. I use less of other social media platforms. I have a lot of online friends but I do not talk to them that much - just a simple comment under their posts here and there. There have been numerous instances when some friends decided to talk to me via hangouts (direct message, pretty much a private message).   Before I usually rejected their invite request because I don't know them and I feel weird talking to someone I don't even know and I have learnt alot of cyber safety and stuff.   Recently two people (two of my G+ friends I never met ever) started talking to me on hangouts. The first one, let's say her name is M and the second one L.   I have been friends with M for more than 6 months, she is okay - we don't really talk that much but recently she has been commenting and she decided to private message me.   L in the other hand, I just recently followed her and I've seen her reshared some of my posts. She started to private message me yesturday. So did M (which is pretty werid lol).   Both of them asked my name and I said my nickname, indicating that's my name for short. They asked me where I live, I said the country I live in, not specific location. They asked my nationality and told them. I now regret this but nothing really suspicous has happened yet.   They keep on messaging me and their comments are fine, not dodgey but I don't like, I guess I am not that used to talking to strangers personally. Since I am aware of what happened in the news related to cyber stuff, I am I guess more anxious which is making me suspcious. I decided to block them, I feel bad though - I know it is mean but I don't feel comfortable enough to trust them because they might not be the people they actually appear too. I don't know....   It is indeed complicated lol   What do you guys think?   Thank you,   Doni   ... View more

I had big hopes of transferring to on campus university this year but my sicknesses are getting worse. Even then I doubt I will get in because my grades for the two courses are probably not good. That’s the reason why I didn’t get into uni. I am too dumb, not suitable for uni. I lack knowledge, skill, looks everything. I wonder if I will stay like this for forever, limping around, experiencing pain stretching in my right thigh. Been to the specialist doctor for more than two times and no proper solution. I don’t think we will move houses this year nor next year, even if we did I will not have a bedroom to myself to cry alone, to meditate, to be alone. My sister thinks I am in a bad mood or angry at something but I am actually very sad and she stormed at me thinking I was preparing for making rice with angry intentions. I felt horrible last night and slept early because I can’t focus or feel like doing anything. Although I slept at 10pm I woke around 1am, disturbed from my sleep by the conversations of my sister and mother. Their conversations did not end even when my sister came to bed and turned off the lights. I couldn’t bear the conversations especially because I was crying in my sleep. We unfortunately sleep in the same room, my house has two bedrooms and have no space. I couldn’t bear the conversations so I got my blanket and pillow and headed for the living room to sleep there. My sister said angrily that I am mean. That made me more collapse, I cried for a decent period of time in the living room alone. I am so used to crying and hiding my feelings alone. Even if I cry around everyone, everyone does not understand me and think I bet I am a mess. I honestly feeling like killing myself but one part of my mind is stopping me. I know this is a downfall to commit suicide but I only see that as an option. I give others advice to stay strong in such difficult situations but I fail to give myself such advice. I am honestly a failure; I didn’t get into university. I got no university offer. I managed to do a university degree from a private institution that offers online degrees especially for those who work. Most of the people in my grade last year got a place in university, I obviously got no offer and cried. My sister helped me do the application for that private institution and now because of my sister’s help I am doing some sort of university which is actually recognised. If she didn’t do that I don’t know what I would be doing. Going to tafe. If I went to tafe, I probably will ruin the reputation of my family. I feel like a living failure. What triggered my unhappiness yesterday was after seeing the photos from one of our cousins’ weddings. Everyone there looked so pretty and good. People may think I am jealous, I myself don’t know what it is. May it is. I look at myself and think I am not beautiful at all. I am a diseased peasant. A jealous, ugly, unintelligent, useless, immoral, horrible peasant. I met my family don’t want me if I wasn’t related to them. They probably have to accept me because I am unfortunately part of the family. I will like dying. I know I will go to hell after death, where I belong. Where I will burn in hell for the bad deeds I did this life and previous lives. I belong there. Everyone who does a bad deed belongs there. I don’t want to share my feelings with anyone else because I don’t want to put a problem in their minds. Everyone has problems but I don’t want others to get more problems because of a unfortunate person like me.   My family does not understand, they try but it is useless. I have no proper friends, they ocassioanlly message me, they are too busy. Pretty much I have no friends, they don't really make a effort to message me unless I message first. I am stuck at home, studying online in a small house with no place to stay alone. I have to hide my emotions cuz no one understands, no one cares, they have their own problems and I just got to adapt to that.   The desk I used to study if where my brother and dad sleeps and it is so distracting because my brother regularly opens the door usually very nosily and it angers me. He does it no matter how much I tell him. I am sick of studying because of the distractions. I can even hear the stupid drama my parents watch in the living room. I am so fed up. Being patient doesn't do anything to me. I am regularly looking for homes for us to move to next year but it is useless because I don't know if we can move to such good houses.   I am so sick of everything. I went to the doctor and explainly briefly about my problems and she gave me a plan to meet a psychologist. I didn't want to because I think it will be useless. I went to the counseller in high school, judging by her it is pretty useless.    There's no solution for me apart from just bearing it and being patient. I can't bear it anymore. I am losing my mind. I only see one option and it is being in the dirt. ... View more

Hi everyone,   I would like to get advice. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I am feeling pretty down.   I graduated high school last year and started my university degree online.   In high school I had a small handful of friends but now they don't really make a effort to talk to me. They used to live near my house but now they moved further into the city which is very far away. We keep in touch by texting.   They reply to my messages but it doesn't feel as if they are interested in talking to me. They reply as if they have to. My friendship with my friends feels one way. I feel as if I'm the only one who makes a effort to talk and keep the friendship.   All my friends have started university and tafe on campus, I'm the only one who is studying online. I understand that they are busy with their studies but even when they have time I don't think they make a effort to talk to me.       I have a sound relationship with my family but it would be good to talk to someone other than a family member and more of my age.   Most of my friends message me when they need something.    I feel pretty lame.    All I do is staying home, trying to study and have no one to talk to. It's not very practical to talk to my siblings. They are great people but it's not the same.   I am considering transfering my course to a course on campus because I can't tollorate staying home and not socialising. I can't study properly at home anyway because of the lack of space and noise.    It's a very difficult postion for me. To make it worse, on top of the lack of friends and lack of space to study - I am not feeling well in health and regularly taking tablets,    I feel pretty depressed and in fact proably have been depressed for more than 4 years. Before 4 years, I was at my old school where I had a huge friendship network. Once I moved to my new school, I had diffuclty making proper friends and have been bullied which may have caused my depression.   It sucks, it's complicated. I never had a solution to my problems. I just keep on walking in life with no answer and my emotions being the same.   :( ... View more