It has been so long since I have posted on here; I guess I felt I needed a break and maybe I felt I was doing okay. I still am doing relatively okay given my childhood and my past but I've also been accessing support. Support in a way that feels comfortable for me and support that I've been able to trust over a 5 year period, with minor hiccups here and there. In short, KHL has been my main service for 5 years now, I've had 3 counsellors with them over the years, one whom did convince me that it was okay to allow somone face to face into my recovery... she was also preparing to leave at the time, so over a 3 month period, we linked me in with a face to face support and transferred my care to another counsellor at KHL. That therapeutic relationships with KHL and ultimately my trust in KHL broke down in December 2013 and then so did my face to face support in February 2014. I tried multiple times from around June 2014 to access KHL again with no one there be willing to explain why things had broken down with them for me. I did eventually give up.    This year, I lost a client to suicide and for so many different reasons, this for me was an incredibly hard experience both personally and professionally. I re-contacted KHL and luckily for me the counsellor who answered my webchat didn't access my history and allowed me too talk. On learning about my "access plan" as they called it, she was willing to discuss this with her supervisors and this "access plan" was changed and I was allowed to re-engage with KHL in an ongoing way. That was 6 months ago... they now want to change my access plan again and link me in with a GP and a psychologist in my area, something that I am not ready for. I have tried to explain my reasons why I am not ready, the main reason being I do not see a reason for allowing more people to know this part of my life when I am moving states in 12 months and will just have to meet someone new again... my past experience with psychologists has also not been helpful and a dealing with my last one has not left me feeling very good about them. I just don't know how much they are understanding and I have strong feeling after 4 more sessions they are just going to leave my out on my own... that is what they did last time! They're reasoning for this change... they supposedly want what is best for me and believe that the work I need to do cannot be done via phone / web counselling. I disagree. Aside from my school psychologist and a counsellor I saw through headsapce before linking up with KHL, they have been the most helpful support for me... well the 2 counsellors I managed to "click" with. I know in 12 months I will be too old for their service and that is fine with me and I happy to cross the bridge when it comes, I would have moved by then and I will only be needing to link in with person, which I feel is more appropriate, rather than linking in with someone for 12 months and then changing again... I don't do well with changes and I struggle learning to trust others. It will take me the 12 months to trust the person and then I will move.    I guess I'm just after advice on how I can explain this too KHL so that they can understand where I am coming from and the fears that I have? I have tried but I feel like I am not being heard and that they have already made their mind up.    Update** regardless of what I want, I have 3 sessions left with my KHL counsellor... thank you KHL for NOTHING ... View more