Congrats on the play @tadaa !! It's so great to hear you getting out there and getting to know new people :) Keep it up :D ... View more

Ferrero Rochers!!      ... View more

Hey @greer    Reliving what you have been through over and over again must be extremely difficult, so I really admire your strength of having gotten this far!    I'm no therapist, but I assume that getting you to relive your experiences is your therapists way of trying to get you through your fear, like some sort of exposure therapy. I can't really offer you any advice in this area, except to keep seeing a therapist, because that professional help is getting you on the road to recovery! And maybe talking to your therapist about the specific issues you are having and asking them why they are telling you to do the things they are telling you to do may help you understand where they are coming from, and also might persuade the therpaist that you might need to take some smaller steps at the moment in therapy, to help you get through it.    As for life outside of therapy, I was wondering what your support network is? It may be reassuring for you to stay over at someone's house rather than spend time alone, because of your fear of him coming back to find you. If you are with others you always feel more protected, don't you think?   Also, I thought you might like to take a look at this factsheet on trauma, because it has some great tips on how to cope with surviving after a trauma.   I really hope this helps! Stay strong!    Gabi  ... View more

How have the past coupld of days been @Pillow ? ... View more

I am OBSESSED with this youtube channel, because I love this kid!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq2T7jP7dpQ     ... View more

I always rewatch television series!    My parents hate it because every time I go back home for holidays I literally watch a show from the very beginning to the end, so my parents have seen all my shows about a million times.   These are some of the series that I have seen every single episode in like 2937498374892734 times: - Friends - Sex and the City - How I Met Your Mother - The Middle - The IT Crowd   Wow. I really need to get a life hahah  ... View more

Hey @Rhelna    Good question!    I think the most important thing about moving out with friends is that you need to know about their personality beforehand and whether or not you think you will clash. If you are moving in with strangers it is a bit different, as you will probably be moe polite to each other and try to make a good impression. With friends however, you already feel more comfortable to express what you are really feeling with one another, so you are probably more likely to speak your mind.   For me, I have a great group of about 6 really close girlfriends who I spend time with all the time. But I know already that there is only about two of them that I would be able to live with. Not because my other friends are rude or we don't get along, but I just know that stuff they do now would frustrate me if we were living together. For example, one of my best friends is really unorganised and messy and loses her belongings all the time. As friends we always laugh about it and make jokes about it, but I think if I were to live with her it would be so different. This is because I am extremely organised and neat, so it would really frustrate me to have a messy bathroom or kitchen or any shared living space. I would also hate if she lost my stuff that she may have been using in the house.    Another thing to work out is finances. One of my friends has had a really tough time this year with her room mates because two of the people in the house are quite flexible whilst one is extremely "tight" with her money. So the two more easy-going ones would ordinarily be happy to share groceries and take it in turns cooking for everyone, whereas the other friend wanted to keep each person's groceries seperate, and would only cook for herself with her own groceries etc. Now this is fair enough to be very money conscious, but I think it is important to lay it all out on the table, so to speak, at the beginning, so that everyone can decide how things will be split and what works best for everyone. Because you don't want to lose friendships over money!   Now, I've only really mentioned negative experiences here but I also have had and know many people who have had great experiences moving out! And I think that is because communication is the key, being assertive whilst respectful to those you live with so that you can live harmoniously!    Gabi :)   ... View more

Hey @switch    I think what Chonty said was a good suggestion, so I just wanted to post some info about CBT that you might like to read. This factsheet is about treatments for anxiety, not depression, but CBT works in pretty much the exact same way for depression, as it's all about challenging those negative thoughts and behaviours.    There is also therapy called Acceptance Commitment Therapy that might be a better alternative for you. This type of therpay is more about learning how to accept your negative cognitions and being able to disconnect from such thoughts and realise that just because you are thinking them, doesn't mean that they are true and that they have to effect your life. Here is some info on ACT that you might find interesting.    I was also just wondering if you have spoken to your GP or psychiatrist about the effects of your previous antidepressants and why you are reluctant to go on them again? They may be able to offer you either some alternative medications or different types of therapies like CBT and ACT.   Keep fighting!    Gabi  ... View more

Hey Misery,   It must be so difficult to not only be experiencing physical pain, but also financial strain and overall effects on your mental wellbeing as well!    I can't really offer you more advice than what has already been given in the other replies but I just want to reiterate what Sophie said, that there is a reason you have posted here, and that it is that reason that has kept you holidng on! So keep using that reason to get through this!    It really sucks that resources and services have been so unreliable for you. What has Centrelink done now that they have admitted to losing your forms? If you have had to fill out new forms, have they been of any help to you now?    It's also really annoying how your GP has instructed you to find your own psychiatrist instead of being able to point you in the right direction themselves. Have you gone back and spoken to him/her about the difficulty you are having finding one? If you do the GP may be able to refer you to someone who can help, or even give you a new number to call to find someone.    I'm sorry I can't offer you any more advice, but I mostly just wanted to reming you that you are so strong for getting through everything so far, so keep using that strength to get through what's happening now, because you are worth it!    Gabi ... View more

Hey @Pillow    You must be going through so much at the moment so I really feel for you! But thanks so much for keeping us updated on what's been happening.    I'd definitely try to do what @ruenhonx said if I were you, and speak to your boyfriend about what has happened and try to communicate a solution to the problem. I also think what ruenhonx said about writing down the positive stuff that has happened to you over the past few days, even if they are tiny like "I got to sleep in" could be great to help you feel a little bit better.    As for self-harming, I'm not sure if anyone on the forums has already sent you this link but  http://buslist.org/phpBB/  is a website where you can get some more specific infor and advice about self-harming that you might find useful.   It's so great that you are looking for a positive way to finish the school year so keep pushing through and you'll get one step closer to making it! You are very strong to have made it through life hurdles so far, so don't forget that!    Gabi  ... View more

mountain!    mutioamnni ... View more

Hey @BeachBabe    It really sucks how often friendships fade and people change! I think what @lokifish said is great advice, texting her out the blue will show her that you still think about her often. I know this migth sound too simple, but just telling her that you miss her may be enough to get a proper conversation started and may offer you some closure. Maybe you could even pop around to her house one afternoon with some snacks or something so you can sit down and have a chat before saying goodbye to her when she moves. This would also be good because her other friends won't be around so it will be easier for you to talk to her like you usually would.    I also think lokifish gave you some good advice about you thinking her new friends are more popular and pretty than you. Although you may think this is the case, remember that even though you have fought your friendship still prevails, even though it may be less close than before. So no matter what you think about her new friends, remember that your friend obviously cares for you in some way because the friendship has gotten through so much, and it wouldn't have done so if you both didn't mean anything to each other.    All in all, it is great that you have accepted that the friendship is not as close as it used to be, and that you are simply looking for closure befor she moves away. That acceptance shows a real maturity in you. And remember that even though some friendships fade and some friendships last, you will always have the fond memories from those relationships, and that it is these relationships that helped to shape the person that you are today! :)   Gabi ... View more

Hey @redcanyon    I think it is so great that you spoke to your wife about what you have been through! Even if you feel as if it may not have been a positive step in the relationship know that being open could potentially be a relationship saver in the future! For example, if you act out in some way in the future because of your past experiences, even though this may hurt your wife at least her understanding of why you did it will have that foundational knowledge about what you experienced in childhood. So even if it can help understanding in your marriage just a tiny bit, that is better than nothing! So I think telling your wife was very mature and wise.   Also just wanted to let you know that it is completely understandable to prefer a certain gender in your professionals, as the more comfortable you are with your psychologist, the more able you will be to open up. So don't worry, you're not being prejudice. If I was you, I would think about going to my GP and letting them know that you are looking for a male psychologist, as the doctor should have a number of mental health professionals on file that you can be referred to that can help your specific needs. And remember that even though you and your first psychologist may not "fit", there are so many more out there so it is important to keep changing psychologists until you find the one you can trust that really works for you.   Keep going!  Gabi  ... View more

Hey @Pillow    What @Rhelna said is so true! Just thought I'd post the number of Kids Helpline for you 1800 55 1800   You shouldn't have to put up with being treated so unfairly. Have you told your parents about what has been happening? If they already know about your self harm then you can explain the full story to them and then they can give you advice on what steps to take next.   I also think what @Rhelna said about any other friends you have is really important. Being able to ignore bullies is easier said than done, but having a support group somewhere else, like another group of friends, can make it a tiny be easier.    Sorry I can't offer you more advice!   Gabi ... View more

Hey Jazz!   It must be really hard going through such a tough time, especially in a new city where you don't know that many people. With this in mind, it is absolutely fantastic that you are seeing a psychologist to help you get through what you are going through, because you are truly deserving of the great support a professional can offer!   ReachOut.com is mostly aimed towards people between the ages of 14 and 25, but it also has some great stuff about isolation and relationships that apply to all ages, so I hope the website helps!    Human relationships are always so tricky to understand, and because of this they can often leave people feeling let down with others or even let down by themselves. You said you have met some people whose actions have left you with confidence and I'm guessing trust issues. You might like to take a look at this factsheet about building up your self-confidence, because this might help you establish some really rewarding relationships.    It seems that another issue you are facing is having the time to work, catch up with friends, as well as spend time with your husband. I have experienced a similar situation in that when I started university and moved into college I had to try and find time to see my old friends from school, try and make new friends in my new living environment, all the while trying to complete my studies and go to work. That being said, I worked out a great, simple way to keep in touch with my old friends by just giving them a call every so often! This worked so well for me because I could study and then in my study break call a friend for a quick catch up in my study break. Killing two birds with one stone! I suggest maybe you could do the same, like when you get home on the weekend and you don't feel like leaving your husband, perhaps you could have a phone chat with a friend for half an hour or something, so that you can still maintain that friendship while not even having to leave your husband at home alone!  I'd also just like to say that it sounds to me that you are a fantastic wife who always has your husband in mind in everything you do. He is lucky to have you! If you still feel as if you might not be showing him enough appreciation, I think the best option would be to talk to him about it, ask him if he feels like you show your apprecation to him. You will probably find out that he does! And if not, that could be a perfect time to ask him what ways he would like you to show your affection. Communication really is the key!  Thanks for posting, hope everything goes well!    Gabi ... View more

Hey @Pillow    I think the advice given in the other replies is fantastic, especially what has been said about talking to your psychologist more about any extra support you feel that you need.    I just wanted to let you know that everyone on these forum cares about you, and I hope that you can see that through the replies you have received. And hopefully other people who have been through what you are currently going through will see your post on here and be able to offer you some first hand advice abut how they dealt with their situation.    I think that a quote from the movie The Help really applies to you here, and repeating as your mantra like they do in the movie might help a bit, I know it has helped me!    "You is kind,  You is smart, You is important"  ... View more

Hey @Tonez    Welcome to the ReachOut forums!    You said that you may have social phobia, so I am wondering if you have already visited a GP or psychologist and if they have offered you any insight into your situation? If not, I really encourage you, like @lokifish said, to go and talk to a GP because they can refer you on to a psychologist to get you some professional help and support.    In the mean time, here is another factsheet on help with anxiety, such as social anxiety. It also has some more info on the CBT lokifish mentioned.    Another online resource you might like to take a look at is http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome which has a great interactive self-help program for social anxiety, which draws on CBT as well.    It's so great you are looking for help with what you are going through! Although I don't suffer from social anxiety myself, I hope my advice can help even a little bit. And I'm sure that other users of the forums that have experienced social phobia will see your post and be able to offer you some great first-hand advice based off their experiences.    Keep fighting!   Gabi  ... View more

Hi @Pillow    Congratulations on deciding to seek help for what you are going through! It is so great that you are looking for the help you truly deserve :)    Firstly, I was wondering if you have told anyone about what you are going through? You said you are shy about the issues because you have been bullied in the past. For this reason, I would suggest telling a family member, who is less likely to bully you about the situation. More significantly, I really encourage you to speak to your GP about it, because they DEFINITELY won't attack you for it, and they can give you not only professional medical advice about your physical health, but they will also have a lot of information on services in your local area which you can go to for specific help. They may also be able to refer you such places. So I really think that this is the next step to take, when you are ready, because talking to a professional one-on-one is really the best way for you to get the help and support that you are worthy of.    However, if you feel as though you are not ready to talk face-to-face about what you are going through, there are a couple of online resources that you might like to try to get some support and advice. Such resources also often have information on specific services you might also like to contact as your next step.  For starters, here is a factsheets that you might like to take a look at, because they have some simple self-help actions that you might like to try  http://au.reachout.com/self-help-tips-for-eating-disorders Also, here is a factsheet on different professional services that you may like to use http://au.reachout.com/Support-services-for-eating-disorders   A great website to take a look at is http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/ because even though it is a Victorian website, it has some great links in the drop down menus for both services that are available as well as "Where do I start" under the "I need help" tab.    As mentioned in the factsheet I linked above, the Butterfly Foundation could also be a great resource for you to use, as it offers a 24/7 national email or phone service that you can use at anytime to speak to someone about what you are experiencing. This way, even if you don't think you are ready to talk about it, you could write it out in an email to communicate with the service, which you might find more reassuring. The website is  http://www.thebutterflyfoundation.org.au and the phone number is  1300 33 46 73    I think you posting here looking for help is seriously a MASSIVE step towards recovery, so please be super proud of yourself! Keep taking those next steps to help yourself, because you are so worthy of feeling better!    Gabi     ... View more

Hey @Charah    It seems like you are dealing with so much at the moment so I really feel for you!    I think the advice Bee gave you is really great! And hopefully others who have been through similar experiences will find this post and offer you some advice. But in the mean time, there are a few factsheets you might like to take a look at that may give some info about what you are experiencing and what may be the cause behind it.  https://au.reachout.com/All-about-feeling-anxious https://au.reachout.com/Im-always-stressed https://au.reachout.com/All-about-feeling-crap   As for some physical steps you can take to help you through what you are going through, I really encourage you to reconsider speaking to a GP about your situation, because they definitely should be able to help. And be reassured that is it very very unlikely that you will be the first person the GP has seen experiencing these issues.    If you don't feel as though you are ready to take that step, I think you might find eHeadspace https://www.eheadspace.org.au useful, because they offer an onlince counselling service. This means you can talk directly to one of their counsellors about what you are going through, and they can give you some specific advice about what steps to take next.   It is so unfair that you have to worry about being taken seriously if you tell someone about your situation, because you fear that they will think you are attention-seeking. You shouldn't have to worry about that on top of what you are already going through! With this is mind, I really hope you start to let some people know what you are experiencing, and know that you may have to tell more than one person until you find that one person, either a friend or a professional, that will really listen to you and help you through it. But people like this are definitely out there, so please keep trying to get the support off others that you truly deserve!    Hope this helps!   Gabi    ... View more

Hey @KittenThe    I think what Lex said is great advice for both of the issues you are experiencing surrounding moving out. Is there a tafe in your area that you could go to to ask about their services for people who want to finish their highschool education? I have never been to tafe but I have had friends who have completed their HSC or equivalent there so that could be a good option for you.   Also, I think what Doris said is so true, and that if you feel as if you cant be any help to your mother and siblings while you are at home anyway, then perhaps it is time to focus on your needs rather than theirs. And try not to think of that as selfish, because you cannot help them unless you help yourself first.    I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been through and that I couldn't give you anymore advice other than what has already been given, but I just thought I would reiterate what has already been said because I think it could be really useful for you.   Hope things start looking up soon!  Please keep us updated with your progress.   Gabi ... View more

Hey @Question    Mmmmmmm those are tricky ones.. I guess for your question about Jack, there is not much you can do apart from again trying to communicate with him and perhaps asking him if he has an issue with you and what it is. But if that doesn't work, I guess you will have to trust that those who are your true friends will stick by you. It's like what you said about them in the first place, they remain friends with Jack because they feel as if he hasn't done anything wrong by them, only by you, so they don't want to get involved. I think that maybe if Jack continues to do what he is doing it will become more noticeable to your other friends how he is behaving and how it is effecting you. If this happens your true friends will not "turn against you" just because Jack tries to get them too, instead they will decide that they will remain friends with you because you have done nothing against them. So I guess what I am trying to say is that with time, as Jack's behaviour becomes more obvious, they will probably shift their behaviour to stay friends with you, much in the way they are acting to stay friends with Jack at the moment. I hope that makes sense.    As for your second question, it often so difficult to tell whether you can really trust a person from the get go. But I think the most sensible thing to do is to reciprocate that person's actions while still taking the relationship slow enough to gain each other's trust. What I mean is, if you meet someone who seems really nice, then take that at face value and act in a kind way towards them. While you do this, of course you should open up to them and trust them enough to get to know them, but allow a lot of time for that friendship to grow before trusting them with your most personal information. So again, I guess your main ally here is time, so you can let your relationship grow until you can learn to fully trust the person.   I guess the most important thing to remember is that every relationship is different, so what worked in one of your friendships may not work in the next.   I'm  sorry I can't offer more concrete advice, as I haven't experienced what you are going through. I really wish there was some sort of universal friendship manual that could tell us the exact way to behave in every single relationship! But because there isn't, I guess my advice is just a guide based on my own relationship conflicts, so I hope it can help in any small way!   :) ... View more

I'm no good at writing poems but I thought I would paste my favourite poem here :) It helped me deal with some stuff so might be useful to others!        Death is Nothing at All - Henry Scott Holland   Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away to the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other,  That, we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect. Without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was. There is absolute unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?  I am but waiting for you. For an interval. Somewhere. Very near. Just around the corner. All is well.    ... View more

Dear N,    Sorry I can be really annoying/bossy sometimes, and a lot lately, even though you will never admit that I am! Thanks for being you!   Gabi  ... View more

Freshly changed bed sheets Smooth to touch and warm to lie Time to go to sleep   :D ... View more

Hey @tadaa    I think everything @blithe has said is great advice! Just one more thing I'd like to add, maybe you could organsie with your current friends a little get together sort of thing where they could all bring a couple of other friends and you could meet them. Because your mutual friends can introduce you to each other and with them there it will be less awkward and the conversation will probably flow better if there is more inputs from other people.    Just a thought! :D   Gabi  ... View more

Hey @Question    Woah, it sucks to be having one friendship conflict, let alone two like you have described! And I'm so sorry that this has given you a more cynical view of life, like you said. But it is great that you are posting on here searching for a solution to the problems.    For Case #1, I think the first thing I would do would be to think about how important you friendships with Jack and those who have taken his side are for you. I think these friends of Jack would be taking his side, so to speak, for one of two reasons. Firstly, they haven't consciously noticed that the gifts he has been buying them are making them feel more affectionate towards him, so they probably haven't even noticed that they are becoming closer friends with him and becoming less close with you. Alternatively, they have noticed him buying gifts for them as a way to show he wants to be their friend, and they have accepted and approved of this. For those friends in the first category, with time it will become obvious to them the way Jack has been acting and then they will either start to pull away from him, because they don't want to be friends with someone who just buys them things, or they will move into that second category. As for the second category of friends, if I was you I would try to again evaluate how much their friendship means to me, because if you decide you wouldn't like to be friends with people whose affections are easily "bought" so to speak, realising this may make accepting the fact they are now friends with Jack instead of you easier to do and get through.    Another thing that may be useful to think about is that perhaps Jack finds it more difficult to make friends the conventional way, via communication and trust, so feels as if the only way he make friends is to buy them gifts. Thinking about this probably won't make you want to be his friend again or to forgive him for what he has done for you, but it may make it easier to see his perspective, and easier for you to evaluate how important people like him (as in his friends who accept his gift-giving as their reason to be friends with him) are to you. With this in mind, here is some information on what makes a good friend and what makes a bad friend that you might like to look at to help you decide which of these friends are worth fighting for.    As for Case #2, again I would try to evaluate what is more important for me personally, that is, either sticking to my guns and stepping away from the club, or keep trying to bring harmony back to the club that you have obviously worked so hard to set up and run. It is really a personal choice for you, about what you believe is more important for yourself. Have you tried communicating with the non-twitter group about what you guys can do as a team to try and either sort stuff out with the other half of the group, or work out whether you want to form another group away from the twitter group? I guess it really just about communicating and finding that balance between maintaining your relationships, and standing up for what you believe is the right thing to do.    Other than that, I guess I can't really give you much more advice than to be assertive in your communication with all of your friends, so that you can get your point across whilst maintaining repsect for yourself and showing respect for the other person. With that in mind, here is a factsheet on effective communication you might like to look at. And again, if you do communicate assertively but find that this fails with people who do not cooperate and listen to your opinion, I would have a serious think about whether I would want someone who is not willing to listen to me or consider my point of view in my life at all.    I'm sorry my reply is so long and repetitive, I just hope I could help in any small way!    Gabi    ... View more

I'm looking forward to my holiday to China in February! :D :D ... View more

Hey @foreverinfinite ,   Thanks for sharing your experience! It's great to hear that you found a good friend online, even though you were never able to meet them.   On the other hand, it really sucks that someone you used to be so close to is now no longer in your life.  But I guess as you grow older it becomes easier to understand that a lot of friendships fade. For myself, having changed highschools in year 10 and then leaving highschool for university, I always remember how close I was with specific people at both of my highschools, whereas now I am only friends with a few of them.   Are you hoping to reconnect with your friend? Or are you just trying to come to terms with the fact that the friendship may have ended and that you miss her?  ... View more

Eggplant (love that stuff!)   Pets or people?  ... View more