Hey RO It's been a while since I've posted but I've had an issue that has come more to my attention recently I find myself struggling to maintain full concentration in conversations. Even if I am invested in the topic or in the person I'm talking to, I've been noticing myself kind of zoning out and not hearing some of it. Sometimes I won't notice it and the details I've missed will come up later and I won't have remembered them but if I do notice it, I am too anxious to ask if they could repeat as I fear it would make it look like I wasn't listening This has been an issue as I'll forget important details in conversations that will be brought up later and since I can't remember them, whoever I'm talking to will think I don't care what they are saying or whatever the conversation is about even if I do really care. (I hope some of that made sense) Does anyone have any idea why I might be doing this or any methods I can use to try and prevent it? ... View more

Hey RO It's been a long time since I last posted. Now I'm in second year uni :P Anyway, here it goes. So last year, my friend from high school went on a 6 month long trip to Europe where he had a great time. He hadn't been coping well in high school so this was a really good experience for him and I am legitimately happy for him. The only thing is, he came back and he's now unpleasant to be around. Here's kind of list of issues: 1. When he got back, he talked a lot about women he had met up with overseas. He was never gross about it but, with me being in a 4 year relationship, I have nothing to add to it. 2. This goes onto a broader point that he always talks about himself. He never asks questions that may open up a two way conversation, he just talks about what he is doing. As described by my girlfriend "he doesn't talk with you, he talks AT you" 3. At my 20th, he was very unpleasant to my uni friends, who he hadn't met before. Instead of trying to introduce himself, he kind of talked down to them or simply just tried to talk to me about stuff that none of them get in on. He also was weirdly aggressive when playing frisbee 4. He invited me on a trip to Japan with our friend group and I couldn't go because I don't have enough money. He kind of acted like I just didn't want to be involved. He even asked me again to come to Japan in a way that sounded like that I just didn't want to go. Again, I told him I couldn't afford it. He then went on to tell me about a "million dollar startup" that he was starting with some of our friends (this would be something he would talk about a lot). I have no idea what to do. I've known him for a long time but now he's being a pretentious and arrogant wanker (pardon my language but it's true). I'm not sure if our mutual friends have noticed it and I don't really want to bring it up to sound like I'm trying to start drama. He is also extremely defensive and even when our mates joke about it (nothing malicious), he gets visibly riled up. I also know that my other friends definitely noticed it and agreed with me. At this point I want to distance myself from him cause it's genuinely hard to be around him but I also don't want to stop hanging out with our mutual group of friends. Any advice? ... View more

Hey RO My 16 year old sister has serious mental health issues and has gone to hospital multiple times to be treated. While her condition is more serious, I know what it's like to have serious depression. However, I find it really hard to sympathise with her. She's extremely self-centred and her personality seems to be border on narcissism. She displays "princess" behaviour and seems to think that everyone around her is below her and that she's the smartest person in the world and constantly think she's in the right and that everything bad is the product of other people (She seems to think she knows more than her psychiatrist). She is quite disrespectful to my parents, which I hate watching, and has frequently says "I didn't choose to be born," which seems to be her completely disregarding all that my parents have done for her (They have gone into serious debt through hospital bills, new schools and holidays). She likes to brag about her abilities to manipulate people and sees no fault in doing so or others doing so, and I have seen her manipulate people, including my parents. Sometimes I want to just scream at her and tell her to grow up and get over herself and sometimes I just can't be in the same room as her. Even small things like demanding someone bring her a towel that is less then two metres away because she'll get cold can make me seethe. While I understand that she has serious mental problems and that may have some effects on her personality, a lot of this had existed for a while and I cannot stand narcissistic behaviour. I just can't feel anything good about someone who thinks that everything they say, however misinformed, is gospel. I just don't see how I can feel compassion for someone whose personality I despise. She can be nice and I have seen her and its lovely, but most of the time I wish I could just scream at her to shut up. What can I do RO? Am I a bad person for feeling like this? I just can't wrangle any sympathy together and find it hard to remain patient. ... View more

Hey RO I'm having problems with how I spend money. I have never been good at saving and usually compulsively buy items that I don't really need, the big culprit being food. Whenever I tell myself I'm going to save up, something big comes along, like a function or an item that I feel like I need to get, that ruins it for me. I really want to be a good saver, especially as I want to travel at the end of the year with a friend. I have a job that pays pretty well but I always find my bank account slowly drying up as the weeks go on, to the point when I'm living pay check to pay check. Can I get some advice on how best to save money and how to manage spending when it comes to functions and the like? Thanks guys ... View more

Hey RO So I've just started university and have wasted no time getting involved in the social life of university. I've been doing heaps of stuff with societies and made heaps of friends that I look forward to hanging out with in the future. I recently got several parts in a major production for the drama society and I was looking forward to it greatly. However, when we did the reading today I noticed how nothing my parts were. In a 3 hour long play, I estimate having around 10mins of talking stage time. Despite having several parts, they all seem to have very minimal action at all, both frequency and length. I know this kind of sounds a bit whingey but I can't help feeling expendable. I feel like I was the last round draft pick. Throughout high school, I always felt underacknowledged and on the outside of my group of friends and it's starting to come again. I love drama and I love acting and I love to entertain people and show what I can do. I am confident in my abilites as a performer too. I'm in a skit in a variety show earlier this year which is pretty good and I'm looking forward to that one. I don't claim to be the best actor of all time, but I am confident that I can entertain people. But I can't really show anyone what I can do if I have less than 10mins talking time and only one of the parts has any actual personality and disappears about 1/3 into the show. It's only been the first reading and I already want to drop out of the show. I never expected to be a huge role, but it seems that everyone else in the show has a moment where they can display some character while I am just in the background. I'm sorry if I sound kinda whingey and a bit spoiled. I just hate feeling underappriceated and not acknowledged. ... View more

Hey RO So I've been with my girlfriend for about 1 1/2 years and everything has been really great. She's perfect in every single way and I love her an insane amount and I can't think of any other place I would rather be than with her However, I get this horrible feeling that I guess is a mixture of depression and anxiety when I hear about people she's been with or things she's done. We've both had exes in the past but, being teenagers, we've both kind of hooked up with other people before as well or done stupid things And it gets me really down when I hear about them, even in a passing comment by a friend or a slip of the tongue. I just hate to think of her in that way and even though it's in the past, I just really don't want to hear it. I don't know whether it would be better to get closure and ask what she has done or just leave it and remain not knowing in case I freak out I only think about this when I'm in a bad state of mind in the first place and it can really eat at me, but if I did know, I feel like I might get worse She's an amazing person and I love her with all my heart and I trust her as well and I know all of that stuff was a long time ago and she isn't like that anymore I feel like a complete a**hole getting down and being judgemental about stuff that she has done in the past and cannot change as well as the fact that I've done stuff like that too Should I get closure or just remain in the dark? ... View more

Hey RO So recently, I've been feeling pretty bad mental wise and it's making me lose sleep. This means I'm not up to going to school the next day. As I'm in year 12, medical certificates are pretty important when you're absent (Not everyday but when there's an upccoming assessment) so how can I go about getting one? I the past, if it has been a physical illness, I was able to just go into any GP and be able to get a quick diagnosis and certificate. but it seems harder to get one from my psychologist as they are only able to see you if you have an appointment, not allowing walk-ins like some GPs, so how should I go about getting a valid medical certificate? My other issue is that I am not currently seeing a psychologist, with my current mental situaition being quite recent. Am I able to refer the school to my past psychologist/psychiatrist for information and thus be able to provide a valid and sufficient reason for my absence? ... View more

Hey RO So this hasn't happened to me at any time but it may so I want to know what to do if it does. Say I was hosting a party at my house. Just some really good friends, nothing bad is happening, noone is off their face on anything and nothing illegal is happening, everyone is legal drinking age and drinks used are nothing crazy, just everyone is having a good time hanging out. Now, some people who I don't want at the party turn up. I'll give a few scenarios for you just to be safe.   1) People who turn up I know but do not like and do not want in my house, let alone at the party. I ask them to leave but they kind of just laugh and refuse. They don't act aggressive but when I ask them to leave they say something like "Too bad" or "I don't care." They may also be bringing illegal stuff like drugs which I really want nothing to do with. 2) People who turn up I do know and do not like. I ask them to leave and they act hostile and aggressive towards me. Basically try to pick a fight. Drug situaiton may also apply. I'm guessing if I don't them and neither does anyone else I can call the police to say they are trespassing. So how can I deal with the other scenarios? I don't want any kind of trouble or fights at all and calling police would be my final resort. ... View more

I wasn really sure where to put this so I just lodged it into Hanging Out I am writing a story for my HSC that centres around the depiction of mental illness in media, a depiction I find usually to be one of bastardisation, criminalisation or romanticisation. I was wondering if Reach Out or any of the people on the forum have know of any articles or studies done towards this area? And while I'm at it, what are your views on mental illness in media? ... View more

Okay So first things first just to give you a run down 1. I am a 17 male 2. I am a virgin 3. I am currently in a 8 month long distance relationship Okay so I apologise if this gets too graphic for community guidelines, I am trying to keep this as clinical as possible I just got back from a visit to my gf and we fooled around a bit Just before I visited, I had what may have been a cold sore but had since gone (No discoloration or open wound but tasted metallic like healing skin) I am not completely sure as it may have just been irritated skin (I am on medication that dries and cracks my lips something bad) During this visit, I performed oral sex on her, something I told myself not to do but I got so caught up in the moment I forgot. The actual act only lasted about 5 seconds, but there was at least 2 seconds of contact with that part of my lip I don't know how long the virus lasts in the system so I am really really scared that I may have given my gf herpes. I love this girl. WIth all my heart. And I feel like the worst person in the world and that I don't deserve her at all I am so scared to tell her because she'll get angry or scared and I don't want to lose her. I don't I can handle screwing up this relationship. I hate myself now and I don't even know if anything has happened I know I need to tell her but I don't know when or how We live interstate (NSW and ACT) so we don't get to see each other that often. She may be visiting next week though. Should I tell her over the phone or wait? If I wait to long and she beings to notice, she may get the wrong idea like I cheated on her and contracted the virus from someone else. I am deeply and madly in love with this girl, RO, and I would do anything for her. I just don't want to lose her :( If she does test postive, I will stick by the whole way but she also gets so anxious. I just don't know what to do :( This is seriously making me so nervous that I feel sick I keep telling myself it'll be okay but I need to know it ... View more

Hey RO So recently one of my best friends had a bit of drama involving a girl he has had a crush on for a while. She bascially found out and kinda told him to not talk to her again. My friend never had a chance to confront her about her reaction or to apologise or just to get general closure and she is refusing to talk to him and is staright up ignoring him. Now, I do think it is pretty bad of her to not talk to him and to help get closure and I think her reaction may have been a bit of an overreatcion as they have never been in a relationship before and I think she suspected he liked her, however I do think my friend has a few faults and that may have contributed to this and his usual constant complaining. It has become aware that he has anxiety and possible depression and I have been trying to help him through any tough times he has had, having experience with both myself, however, it has become clear to me that he is blaming other people for no true reason. He is generally a pretty serious and negative person and I don't think he understands that is kind of a turn off for other people in terms of socialisation and how people view you. I have talked to the people he complains about and they have tried to invite him to game events but he has refused or just acted negatively, leading them to stop inviting him. He does has a habit of turning people away who are trying to help him and I think that affects how people see him. So RO, how can I tell my friend that maybe his negativity is really not helping his situaition and that he should try being a bit more social? I hated people telling me to "just cheer up" and I don't want to sound like that's what I'm saying, but I do know you can't put it on display and expect people to understand and take care of you. ... View more

Okay so recently one of my friends has heavily offended me and at first I was pretty pissed off. However, after hearing her side of the story, I realise I may have deserved it. Early last year, we got into a friends with benefits type situaition. We only did stuff on one occasion, but ti was nothing huge. However, I told one person who told another and so on and the rumors became bigger and bigger and she's lashed out at me.   Some of the things that I've heard from her have been grasping at straws or MASSIVE exagerrations however, I still feel horrible about the rumors. I don't really want to lose her as a friend, as toxic as she can be. She has been there for me a lot and early last year, I was at a really bad stage in my life and I was acting like a big a**hole Should I try and talk to her and apologise? These rumors haven't tainted her reputation but I feel pretty bad about them. I don't know really know what to say anyway Can someone help? ... View more