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redhead
Builder
since
24-04-2014
Online
14787
Posts
4929
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18-07-2018
02:42 PM
1 Kudo
@Jesssister2001 psychosis is different for everyone. For me psychosis is like I'm trapped in world where I don't know what's real and what's not. Everyone tells me what I believe and think isn't real and I get angry and confused. Even when I'm well I have a level of psychosis because I believe aliens communicate with me and stuff. When I'm unwell they tell me bad things and I really believe it and start acting on what they say. The last time I tried to end my life was because I believed the aliens would kill my dad and my best friend if I didn't end my life first. It's not always that bad however. For me psychosis is really scary because the aliens are evil and want to control and eventually kill humanity, even if that's one person at a time. I see and hear them a lot and in bad episodes I get really distorted thinking about the things thats going happen. When I come out of bad episodes I don't remember it that well and get confused because reality changes and I'm not sure if I'm lost now or was in my episodes. The Dr's and professionals I see try to help me identify reality and meds help. But sometimes even that gets confusing.
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16-07-2018
04:53 PM
3 Kudos
No one really talks about it. Or wants to talk about it for that matter. It makes me feel like I'm crazy and a freak because I have episodes where my perception of reality gets flawed and I lose touch with what's real and what's not. No one understands how scary that is. Coming out of my latest episode it's made me realise how much I get lost and I don't know the way back. I lose me. I want people to understand it's not my fault that I get psychotic. I want people to know that I don't understand it when they tell me what I think isn't real. I want them to see that I'm scared and that I feel small and that I need help. I want people to hear me and tell me I'll be ok.
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15-07-2018
09:45 PM
2 Kudos
@DruidChild Im sorry your mum thinks this way. My mother's reaction reaction to me being trans was her saying transgenderism doesn't exist. Are there any trans/lgbtqi groups in your area or any place you could meet other gender diverse folk. Qlife is greet like @Taylor-RO mentioned if there's stuff you want to talk to with them. Being trans is hard and we'll come across so many that will have negative options or hate towards us for mearly being who we are. I hope you find who you are whatever gender fits for you.
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13-07-2018
05:38 PM
1 Kudo
Home. I'll transition myself to being more online. I don't want to overwhelm myself, hope that's all cool
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12-07-2018
07:48 PM
1 Kudo
I like schitts creek, it's pretty funny. And there are some good scifi I haven't got round to watching it all yet. @lokifish all the hairdressers/barbors would talk about tattoos on my show :p
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12-07-2018
12:26 PM
2 Kudos
I'm going home tomorrow now, my mri has been postponed and I'll be going after that. I'm feeling a bit better today, I actually slept last night. I'm seeing my CM soon to discuss support on discharge
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11-07-2018
07:49 PM
Psychosis is making my life hard atm. Forum land is making me confused. I'm sorry I'm not around rn. I hope to return more when I'm well. I could be going home from hospital tomorrow and that scares me but if so I'll just have manage. I guess I don't always have to know reality, after all what is really real.
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11-07-2018
06:02 PM
5 Kudos
I'm stoked, today I was given leave from hospital to attend my gender clinic appointment. I went and they did tests and booked an appointment with the Dr who can prescribe T. It won't happen at that appointment but it's one step closer to where I want to be and it's making hospital not so hard atm.
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10-07-2018
02:57 PM
Hi guys Sorry I've not been active. Things are hard. I'm psychotic and I can't tell what's reality so I'm confused and scared. The nurses haven't been much help. I'm so paranoid too. I have to have an mri tomorrow
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08-07-2018
04:03 PM
The staff called an ambulance last night, I spent the night in emergency and just got admitted involuntary to the ward :(
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07-07-2018
06:44 PM
@Bee I spoke to them. Things aren't great and I'm kinda making plans. I should hope off the forum and go back to staff as they're the appropriate support I need even if that mean they send me to hospital which is lookinglike that's what going to happen
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07-07-2018
05:17 PM
I thought I could hold it together and going out today would make me feel better. But it's like I've said goodbye I can go now...
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07-07-2018
04:47 PM
1 Kudo
@lokifish I barely got any sleep but I made it through the night. I spent most of today with my best mate so today's been a good distraction, I just hope it stays that way.
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06-07-2018
08:08 PM
But right now I don't know how to get help from staff at the centre I'm at. Earlier this afternoon I spent like an hour crying to them about some of the stuff going on but couldn't explain the one thing I probably should have. That is that my suicidal thoughts are back, their strong and I'm scared. I don't want to end up in hospital. I know I need to reach out right now but I'm in my room crying. I don't know if I can do this.
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06-07-2018
07:47 PM
We've done so many additional counting I don't think it matters anymore....:p 76 727 76 728 76 729
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Public Statistics
| Date Registered | 24-04-2014 07:28 PM |
| Date Last Visited | 18-07-2018 02:45 PM |
| Total Messages Posted | 14,787 |
| Total High Fives Received | 4836 |
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| Date Last Visited |
18-07-2018
02:45 PM
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