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- About jvkn
jvkn
Star contributor
since
23-09-2014
29-07-2017
432
Posts
374
Kudos
0
Solutions
19-07-2017
12:15 PM
3 Kudos
@BunnyWalks It definitely sucks when the person you have a crush on kisses someone else. Jealousy is natural and something that is not easy to control. Sometimes it's hard to suss out whether some one likes you back as a friend or as something more - we've all struggled with this. You may feel like you are unattractive or undesirable sometimes, but it is important to realise that we are all unique, and what one girl may not find attractive, somebody else will. It's completely natural to compare yourself to others, everybody does it, myself included, from time to time. It seems like you are very self aware and are taking some steps in the right direction to work on your confidence :)
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18-07-2017
06:22 PM
1 Kudo
@j95 hope you have a speedy recovery! I've always wanted to learn how to surf... maybe this summer :)
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18-07-2017
06:20 PM
3 Kudos
@blank Thanks for sharing your story, it takes a lot of courage to speak and share feelings and thoughts such as yours. I am sorry to hear about your situation, families can definitely suck sometimes and sometimes it may feel like you're put under tonnes of pressure to excel. This pressure may come from a place of love though - I don't know you, and I don't know the specifics of your situation but from what i can gather, it seems like your parents want the best for you too. You have taken the first step in changing your situation by sharing your story here and for that you should be proud. Have you spoken about these feelings with a counsellor or a psychologist? They may be able to help you with these feelings instead of you continuing to tolerating or repressing them. Please keep us updated.
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18-07-2017
06:08 PM
1 Kudo
@louie6800 Welcome to ReachOut, talking about your feelings can be difficult so thank you for taking the courage to share your story. It sounds like you are very self-aware and want to take the next step in being able to better control your emotional reactions and feelings. I too sometimes internalise my thoughts and feelings of anger... confrontation definitely isn't easy. However, it is important to vent and let go of these feelings, internalising them and never acting on them can be problematic. When i find myself angry at a situation or at someone, I don't like to act on it straight away as sometimes my emotions get the better of me and what comes out is nonsensical. Instead, I'll acknowledge and sit on these feelings (not for too long though), let them diffuse before I tackle the situation at hand. This helps sometimes, but other times, for me, venting to a friend, my parent, or someone I trust is super helpful. Try not to hold onto negative feelings for too long. Get them off your chest. Do you have anyone you trust to talk to about this?
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18-07-2017
03:07 PM
1 Kudo
@Sx I agree with @ivory's sentiments. Your friend seems immature, and it appears she has taken out her frustration of doing poorly at school onto you. Never apologise to anyone for doing well. You earned those marks. She has only herself to blame, and it was not your fault.
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18-07-2017
02:37 PM
1 Kudo
@j95 it has been! It can be hard when you feel that you are not good enough and feel overwhelmed when you make mistakes. I feel it a lot as well. I know it's easier said than done but please try and not fixate on your mistakes, ruminating on these thoughts will only do you more harm as you're focused on those thoughts and not the tasks at hand. Whenever I stuff up or whenever shit hits the fan for me my whole body vibrates - it's uncomfortable and debilitating. Over the last year i have practised mindfulness meditation and have found that really helpful. From this I've learnt to acknowledge the crappy feelings i am feeling, accept them, and put them aside to go on with my day. ReachOut has a pretty cool app called ReachOut Breathe, it's a quick breathing exercise that may help you when you feel overwhelmed with thoughts. Also, good to hear that you were doing well, what was going well for you last week? Can you think of anything that has gone well today? It can be small, it can be simple - like playing with your dog or finding joy from a facebook meme.
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18-07-2017
02:25 PM
1 Kudo
@j95 sorry to hear you feel this way mate, what's troubling you?
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18-07-2017
02:09 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @rxsegold I'm so sorry you are experiencing abuse from your father. I can appreciate how hard it must be and the toll that it may have on you. I know that sometimes you may feel helpless, and sometimes you may even feel guilty about not being able to do anything to protect your mother or your brother, I hope you are not blaming yourself for not being able to do anything about your situation. It appears that you and your mother have a really strong relationship, talking to each other openly and supporting each other through this will make the tough times a little bit easier. Do you participate in any sport or have any hobbies? I find that sometimes escaping and going to the gym helps when i feel suffocated at home. Maybe you can go to a friends place? or even go on walks with your mum (whether permitting). You seem very self-aware and thank you for sharing your story. ReachOut is a safe space and all posts are anonymous, there's no way that this conversation can be traced to your family if your mum is concerned.
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18-07-2017
01:43 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Ryn, Sorry to hear about your situation. Emotional abuse is terrible, I've experienced it myself too - it should not be tolerated and I am sorry you are experiencing it. I find that when it all gets too much at home, putting headphones in and listening to some music or watching TV helps - even if for a little while. It seems like you have support from your dad. I know it must be hard not knowing what to do in this situation but i suggest you have a chat to him about this. Have you told him about the way you are feeling?
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02-09-2015
02:20 PM
1 Kudo
@Shyzkitty well done for taking the first step and booking an appointment with your counsellor. It can a nerve-raking experience meeting someone new for the first time, let alone, a counsellor. @Lioness has offered you some great advice, writing a letter, or taking notes with you can help you get your story across and make sure you don't miss anything due to nerves. Good luck today
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24-08-2015
09:56 PM
3 Kudos
Tonight we’ve spoken about all things success, failure, growth and learning:
Success is a result of staying true to yourself, achieving your goals. Failure is an opportunity to learn, and grow from our mistakes to lead us to success.
Sometimes at first glance, things may look like failures but they end up teaching us things, for example, burning food before mastering cooking, or learning to separate whites from colours after mixing the two whilst doing laundry.
Looking back on our mistakes with a growth mindset can help us to learn, we can do this through thinking optimistically and rationally, setting time frames for feeling down followed by a cut off time to move on and learn.
Being able to empathize can definitely take time—the greater the mental distance between now and the failure, the easier it is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Taking a moment to look at the grand scheme of things can help when we try to analyse our failures.
It’s not only us to make mistakes or fail, famous people and celebrities do so as well—from kanye west interrupting taylor swift to the hundreds of publishers who turned down Harry Potter to the people who fired Oprah and Steve Jobs.
We can help a friend who thinks they have failed by listening, being there for them, help to minimise their frustration, remind them that they’re human—and it is human to fail, encourage them, and keeping things POSITIVE!
This week, try and challenge yourself, if you make a mistake, try to learn from it J
Thanks for joining us tonight and we’ll see you next week for the next GR Sesh:
Want to read more about failure and learning from mistakes?
failure is just a detour
not so epic fail
failed not finished
mindsets
life after bad moves
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24-08-2015
09:55 PM
1 Kudo
@tsnyder that's true... maybe the 8th one is to stay standing lol
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24-08-2015
09:51 PM
2 Kudos
saw saw a quote on instagram: it said
fall 7 times, stand up, 8.
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24-08-2015
09:48 PM
Continue my driving lessons! I only just got back on the road after a pretty crappy/traumatic first lesson with my dad. I have my second lesson with an instructor so i'm looking forward to that :) @Ben-RO I can imagine moving to a new city is pretty tough! put yourself out there! you have so much to gain and so little to lose :P
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24-08-2015
09:33 PM
2 Kudos
@tsnyder that's true, i guess as a friend, let them make their own mistakes, all you can do is wait to catch them when they fall
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24-08-2015
09:30 PM
1 Kudo
@tsnyder maybe letting them know that you love the and that you are scared and don't want to see them get hurt could help, i know this could be pretty hard to say but i may just be what they need to hear.
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24-08-2015
09:18 PM
1 Kudo
@Ben-RO J.K. Rowling was rejected heaps of times before a publisher took on Harry Potter!
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24-08-2015
09:14 PM
1 Kudo
@Ben-RO that's a good point, it helps to ask "will this affect me in five years" sometimes, in the grand scheme of things, your failures are very very minute
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24-08-2015
09:02 PM
Great responses guys, now to our next question:
5. when we try to analyse a "failure" to learn from it, its hard to look objectively since we are emotionally invested in our own situation. is it possible to 'put yourself in someone elses shoes' to learn from it??
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24-08-2015
08:56 PM
@chandelier great find! No.4 is so relevant to what we have been saying "When I fail, I learn."
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24-08-2015
08:55 PM
4. to learn from our failures we need to examine our mistakes... that can feel uncomfortable if we look back with a "fixed"mindset (ie believing nothing can change) so how can we make it easier to look back at our mistakes with a "growth" mindset instead? Asking for advice and help especially after we feel like we failed can help, family members and friends may have experienced the same situation and can shed some insight to help us grow from the failure.
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24-08-2015
08:47 PM
@chandelier i feel you! i've been struggling trying to learn with my dad and i only just had my first professional driving lesson on saturday and it was great!!!
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24-08-2015
08:45 PM
1 Kudo
@tsnyder haha that's great! being called out/being honest is a great way of identifying a few ways that don't work
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24-08-2015
08:34 PM
1 Kudo
@FootyFan26 Well done mate than is a pretty epic improvement!
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24-08-2015
08:33 PM
2 Kudos
@j95 i've also recently failed a unit at school and found that this semester i've been a lot more motivated to do better. Failures often motivate us and teach us lessons to do better in future outcomes
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24-08-2015
08:31 PM
@Ben-RO I'm sure a lot of professional chefs have had similar experiences, just goes to show you have to have a lot of practice, and make mistakes to learn how to cook great food :P
My big one would have to be laundry, i made the mistake of mixing whites with colours and after three pink (use-to-be-white) shirts i've learn my lesson and now know how to master the art of laundry
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My Recent High Fives Received
| Subject | High Fives | Posted |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | 19-07-2017 12:15 PM | |
| 1 | 18-07-2017 06:22 PM | |
| 1 | 18-07-2017 06:08 PM | |
| 3 | 18-07-2017 06:20 PM | |
| 1 | 18-07-2017 02:09 PM |
My Recent High Fives Given
| Subject | High Fives | Author | Latest Post |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | |||
| 11 | |||
| 2 | |||
| 2 | |||
| 1 |
Public Statistics
| Date Registered | 23-09-2014 08:12 PM |
| Date Last Visited | 29-07-2017 01:35 PM |
| Total Messages Posted | 432 |
| Total High Fives Received | 330 |
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01:35 PM
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