No need to apologise @Bee, I hope the operation went well! :) ... View more

I hope you have a restful sleep and wake up feeling a bit safer @redhead  ... View more

Thank you @Lan-RO, writing helps. And thanks for adding the tw, I forgot this thread didn't have one yet. I'll be safe tonight, I'm going to go to bed pretty soon. Just feeling sad I guess.  ... View more

Oh right, it's all good @redhead :) Is there any way we can help you to feel safer rn?  ... View more

That sounds so frightening and overwhelming @redhead - feeling trapped is a horrible feeling. Would lifeline or KHL be helpful right now to help you know what's real and safe? And you're right, I don't know - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to suggest that I know what your situation is like; I can only imagine the fear you're sitting with right now. You're being so brave to keep going and even find some positives from today!  ... View more

That sounds really frightening @redhead, and changing meds is always frustrating! I replied properly in your other thread so as not to double up on posts  ... View more

It's understandable not to know right now @redhead. Is there anyone at the respite place who you could talk to? Am I right in remembering that you have a stuffed sheep, or was that someone else...anyway, something that sometimes helps me when I'm scared is playing music really loud, snuggling a stuffed toy, and having a hot drink. Maybe that's something you could try to get through this fear? Are there any triggers for the thoughts, noises, etc that you could remove - images or light sources or anything?  Hugs, we are all here to listen  ... View more

@lokifish You are amazing and I am SO proud of and inspired by you  Clean sheets are so nice to get into after a shitty day! What did you end up making for dinner? Some other good, light Netflix shows are The Good Place, Nailed It, and Queer Eye :)    Would it help if we agreed that I'll check in with you tomorrow and you can update on how you're doing?  ... View more

Taking things a day at a time is a really good strategy @roseisnotaplant  I'm so glad to hear your friends are so supportive :)  ... View more

Hey @redhead. This sounds like such a frightening situation. You are doing an amazing job trusting your treating team and recognising that they're trying to help you. Is there anything that would make you feel safe right now - a safe person, place, object? Would music help to 'drown out' the anxiety about aliens?  ... View more

My counsellor knows about some of the grief I feel about this friend @Bree-RO, I haven't really spoken about it in the last few weeks though. I will try to bring it up at my appointment on Monday.  I wrote this yesterday (I edited out a couple things, lmk if anything else needs removing though!):    This is the softest thing I can think of: I dream of us sailing to the end of the earth  then dropping off the edge into blue.  You left a wound in me I cannot heal, I am not quite Tristan and you lack Isolde's adulterous leanings but we are still close enough to sting. In the dream you are sucking your dyed hair as though you are hungry for toxins. I watch myself spinning down the universe's plug hole with your rinsed out hair dye. I picture us always as lovers constructed from tragedy manning the sails of our suicides. Been missing you like the shored sailor misses the sea - always, and aching.   I had such a confusing and overwhelming day tbh. The sadness, anxiety, self loathing, it's a lot. Lately the first thought I have every morning when I wake up is 'I want to kill myself. I can't do this.'  ... View more

Just wanted to check in @redhead and see how things have been the last couple of days?  ... View more

Good to hear eheadspace is there for you @scared01! I don't think you're boring at all - it sounds like you just have a lot of responsibilities, combined with being in an area with not a lot of resources.  I hope the anti depressants are helpful for you. Pharmacists can definitely help with anything medication related too.  It sounds stressful to feel for others so strongly! Would you like to talk about anything atm?  ... View more

It sounds like you're working really hard to get as much support as you can, and that's amazing. It's so difficult when there's limited services as well as waiting lists and high costs involved, situations similar to yours tend to make me feel pretty frustrated and helpless, so I'm wondering how you're feeling tonight? Sending hugs.  It's awesome that you're hopeful for these new meds - from experience I know that it can take a while to find medications that work for you. Do you have an idea of what they're prescribed for/what the effects could be, since your GP mentioned they might not be effective for your moods?  I think that you're being impressively resilient - there've been so many challenges for you in accessing support, and the fact that you're working at it and not giving up shows a lot of strength!  ... View more

That sounds really tough @scared01, I can definitely empathise with how much the health system sucks and how hard it is to get proper and appropriate support. Would regular sessions with kids helpline or eheadspace be helpful in the interim? What about your women's health nurse, would it be possible to schedule an extra session with her soon, or with any other health professional at the same place?  Also wondering how you're feeling about the new medication atm?  ... View more

I hope it goes/went well @scared01! If you haven't had the appointment yet, maybe you could make a list of what you want to cover?  ... View more

Ah it's so frustrating when that happens @Jesssister2001!!!!! If you know the name of the counsellor you were speaking with, you could try to log back on today and ask when they're next available?  ... View more

Hey @redhead are the voices being loud or is it something else? It sounds really scary to be having trouble with what's real, huge hugs  Do you have a plan for today? Perhaps you could call your case manager for support or your best mate to hang out and distract you?  ... View more

I do empathise with it being a hard topic to talk about @Jesssister2001, and with feeling awkward. If talking to someone irl doesn't feel comfortable right now, we're all here to chat through some of these issues with you online - and services like kids Helpline and eheadspace are always there for you as well :) ... View more

Yes exactly @scared01. I once heard bpd described as similar to having third degree burns over your entire body - every tiny movement or touch can cause extreme pain.  I hope you have a restful night  ... View more

That's true @scared01, something that I discussed recently in the context of my bpd/traits diagnosis is that I have a tendency to feel things very intensely and deeply.  I'm going to go to bed very soon, should get an early ish night since I have more class tomorrow. ... View more

Although I can't speak for your psych @Jesssister2001, in my experience, mental health professionals are very used to talking about sex and they're fine with it! It may feel a bit awkward, but a lot of people have anxieties and issues around sex so it's definitely something that gets discussed quite a lot in a therapy context. If it's super hard to talk about, perhaps you could even write a letter to give to them?  You also mentioned that you're Christian, do you have a youth group leader or another person in your church who'd be able to give you some guidance and reassurance on this topic?  ... View more

Nice @scared01 sounds good and relaxing :) Today's been hard so please remember that you matter so much and we value you heaps here!  ... View more

@Jesssister2001 I'd suggest making an appointment and then usually they will ask how you're doing or what's brought you in, which gives you an opening to explain that you've been worrying about this. You could say exactly what you've said here, that your peers have been talking about sex a lot and it's made you feel fearful and anxious.  ... View more

Sounds good @scared01, what are you reading atm?  ... View more

I see a counsellor @Bree-RO and we've talked about it a bit, sometimes I feel dumb for talking about friendship stuff though, and I don't want to sound obsessive.  I don't need medical attention for the sh, it's okay.  Thanks @scared01  ... View more

Sometimes that is the best thing @scared01, good on you for knowing what you need right now. Hugs.  What's your plan for the rest of tonight, more Big Bang?  ... View more

@Jesssister2001 sex can be a big and scary thing for a lot of people, I can certainly relate to parts of what you've said, so you're not alone and it's 100% okay to talk and think about   If you have a psychologist, or a school counsellor or school nurse, they could be good people to talk to about this; it might feel hard or embarrassing at first, but most health professionals have dealt with this topic a lot and are completely fine with having an open discussion about it!    I think it's awesome that you have such strong and wonderful things to look forward to in your future :) Wanting a family is a lovely goal. I think it's important to remember that in a healthy marriage/relationship, your partner will respect you and your boundaries. It's okay to say 'no' to things you don't feel okay with, even if it is a tradition. You have a right to have your body and needs respected.  ... View more

We want you here and you deserve to be here @Eden1717, I promise  ... View more

Thank you so much @scared01, that means a lot to me    Regular breaks sounds like a good strategy...I ended up stopping to work on another assignment due the same time, but am going to have to tackle it again this week.    Idk about hope though. I feel like I'm losing all of mine...I am so sad, today was so hard. I ended up self harming twice. I miss my friend :( I think about her all the time, I can't help it, I'm scared for her and I miss her. I don't want to live without her. I feel so worthless...I can't stop feeling like I destroyed the only relationship I've ever had that felt good and safe.  ... View more