Hey @Eden1717, I can hear how difficult it is right now, and how you feel out of options :( That’s a really hard thing to sit with, I’m proud of you for trying so hard not to self harm despite the strong urges. What did you end up doing to help you cope last night?  Thinking of you and sending hugs if you like hugs!  ... View more

Thank you @letitgo that helps    Hugs.    @TOM-RO thank you. Worrying definitely isn’t helping me figure it out, but I can’t seem to stop :( It’s all wrapped up with memories of being assaulted/harassed and with sad memories and it’s so confusing and scary.  I’m not a stranger to obsessive worrying, usually self soothing and grounding, writing it out, refusing to follow what my obsessive thoughts are telling me to do are all things that help but aren’t working for this. Unfortunately usual anxiety techniques (like meds and cbt) don’t seem to work for me. I’ve been trying to do yoga on nights when I can and that seems to help me clear my head a bit.  ... View more

@Eden1717 I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience :( It sucks when helplines don’t help, or make things worse. What would help right now do you think?  ... View more

I know this post is from...over a year ago (wow I didn’t realise I’d been questioning this for so long!) but it’s something that’s been really distressing me lately.   I get really, really anxious about whether I’m a lesbian, bisexual, or straight, and can’t stop obsessing over thoughts and analysing memories to try and figure out exactly what I felt. Plus I must have taken every single ‘am I a lesbian’ quiz on the entire internet  I even find it hard to watch TV shows because I’m constantly analysing ‘well, do you like [female character] or [male character] better??’ I keep ending up telling myself ‘you’re straight and you’re faking it to feel special, you’re a bad person, one day you’ll fall in love with a man and you’ll forget about this.’    Thinking I might be straight (or even bisexual) makes me feel super upset because I can’t stand the thought of one day having to be with a guy (no offence, just like. Guys aren’t my type).    It just doesnt stop. My mind never shuts up. It’s like listening to nails on a chalkboard screaming in my head from the moment I wake up, in the hours I lay awake at night, then in between every hour of fitful sleep. ... View more

Hi @IsabellasRecovery, just wanted to check in and see how you’ve been going over the last couple of days?    ... View more

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Hi @ellabuck_x, thank you for joining us on RO :)    I think lots of young people can relate to feeling anxious about finding a date! I know that I’ve had similar anxious thoughts about not having had a relationship yet. I can imagine the formal coming up must be stressful, and a pretty big thing for you. It’s really tough to feel rejected, but it sounds like it’s to do with the guys already having been asked or just wanting to go with friends, and not to do with you having done anything to deserve it. There is definitely nothing wrong with you, and I would encourage you to try reframing your thoughts like @Taylor-RO suggested!    A lot of people I know took a friend or even a sibling or cousin to their formal! Others went on their own and focused on having fun and dancing with a group of friends :) Do you reckon you’d feel okay with something like that? Are any of your friends in a similar position, so you could chat to them about it?  ... View more

Hi @Ciw93, welcome to RO. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us, I imagine that took a lot of bravery and I can hear how confused and distressed you are right now. I promise that you are good enough, you are a good person and what he is doing to you is not okay and it is not your fault.    A great place to get more support and information is 1800respect. They have more information on what abuse is, what you can do about it, and they have a phone line and webchat where you can speak to someone about what’s happening for you.    When you are in an abusive relationship, it is really normal to still love the person even when they hurt you. And while he is important to you, what he is doing/saying to you isn’t okay. We are here to listen to support you and I really hope you are able to access some more support  ... View more

Just checking in to say I’m thinking of you and hope your day went well with not too much pain @scared01  ... View more

It is super cool @trashconverters!  I love the title of that song, I’ll have a listen!!! What makes it your fave?  ... View more

I’m glad you’re getting at least a little sleep @scared01, I can imagine how much harder it is to deal with everything on 0 hours of sleep!  Sure thing    ... View more

That’s a good idea @scared01, thank you :)  I see my psych on Wednesday so I’ll probably tell her how I’m feeling. I might go get something out of my self care box now and if I keep feeling this bad might give KHL or lifeline a ring.  ... View more

Thanks @scared01. I don’t really have anyone I could invite over, I don’t have friends anymore except here, but it’ll probably be okay, I’ll try to keep my phone charged so I can call for help if I need and maybe just shut myself in my room.  I’ve just had a couple of good days where I’ve been motivated to exercise and stuff and now I’m having the comedown from that and I feel really burned out and guilty and I don’t want to be here anymore.  ... View more

That sounds like good self care @scared01, it’s understandable that you’d be really tired rn  Have you been able to sleep recently? I think you mentioned the pain meds helped with that?    That’s fair, sometimes it is just another thing that you have to do. If you’d like to talk about it more feel free  ... View more

Kinda having a bad night :( In a couple weeks my mum and siblings are going away and it’s just going to be me and my dad and I don’t entirely feel safe just with him but idk what to do since I can’t really explain why, also someone has to stay and take care of him. My anxiety about other stuff is high and I’ve had bad insomnia for a couple weeks and I miss my old best friend and I really, really want to be safe in hospital with a bedroom door that actually locks. ... View more

That’s good to hear @scared01. Well done on getting through your difficult dr appointment - is there anything nice you could do for yourself as a reward? Also wondering how you’re feeling about psych on Friday?  ... View more

Aw that sounds so sad, what an awful day to have to work @queenP!  She deserved so much better! Yep they only have seasons 1-4 on Netflix atm, I think season 6 is coming out soon too!    @Saltwaterdreamtime That’s cool, do you have a fave place to go surfing? Do you reckon you could ever teach your dogs to surf?  ... View more

@queenP It IS the best!!!! I adore Lexa and I was so upset when she died. I hope I didn’t spoil anything for you, although I also haven’t seen season 5 because I can’t afford to buy it yet!  ... View more

Hey @DirtWitch Thank you so much for those suggestions, they’re great and very helpful! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through something similar, I hope you find an awesome job soon :)  I agree that people’s generosity can be incredible (including yours, taking the time to make this post!)    ... View more

Hi @litgym, I’m really sorry to hear that you feel so uncared for and alone here :( that sounds like an incredibly difficult thing to sit with, especially since you’ve had so many struggles recently.    I’d like to apologise for not being around a lot recently, I’ve also been struggling and haven’t been able to give a lot of support to you. I would like you to know that I’ve enjoyed talking to and spending time with you while you’ve been on RO. Your presence here has made our community richer.    I will miss you and you are always, always welcome back. Please take care of yourself and stay safe!  ... View more

Hey @wolvesrunfree how are you going today? Boredom can be frustrating! What kinds of things do you generally enjoy doing? Maybe you could check out our games board on RO, there are lots of fun games to play and it’s a good place to hang out with other forum users! :) ... View more

Whoa @trashconverters that is so interesting, I love hearing about new bands! And as someone with Irish immigrant history myself, very cool and inspiring!  Thank you for sharing and for starting this thread! Do you have a favourite song by the Pogues?    I don’t know whether I’m autistic (mostly because I can’t afford an assessment atm), but I am definitely neurodivergent and I have favourite topics that help me a lot!! Right now it’s a TV show called The 100, it’s about 100 juvenile delinquents (part of a society that is living in space following a nuclear apocalypse) who get sent to the earth to see if it’s survivable.   The main character is Clarke Griffin who’s this badass “leader chick who likes chicks” (as the actress described her!). She’s constantly facing really tough decisions and has to keep her friends safe while also struggling with her relationship with her mother and with other members of the 100. She eventually falls in love with and loses commander Lexa, who’s the leader of the people who survived the nuclear apocalypse on earth.        There are lots of other amazing characters too, like Bellamy Blake (protective older brother who’s kind of awful at first but eventually redeems himself), Raven Reyes (genius yet emotionally vulnerable mechanic/rocket scientist), Octavia Blake (a girl raised in hiding who ultimately becomes a ruthless warrior), and John Murphy (human disaster who somehow? turns into a truly good person).      One of my favourite characters, though, is called Luna. She was raised to be a commander like Lexa, but she chose to run away rather than kill others as was required of the commander. Until her death she fights for inner peace and a way back from the terrible things she did in her training. Aaahhh I just adore her so much!!!     Throughout the whole show there are themes of survival and redemption, the idea that whatever you’ve done and whoever you’ve been you can always be forgiven and live a happy life, which I find really inspiring in my recovery! There’s lots of wonderful female characters and lots of awesome characters of colour (like Lincoln, Raven Reyes, Indra, Thelonius and Wells Jaha, Monty, and Nathan Miller) which I really appreciate as a woman of colour! The show also has it’s own language, called Trigedeslang, which I’ve learned some words and sentences in! I can say “Ai giv ai op gon nemiyon kom lanick-de” which means “I give myself to the miracle of the sea” and “Yu gonplei ste odon” which means “Your fight is over” and some other things like that! This show is what I watch when I feel sad or anxious and it always helps me to keep going and have a moment of joy.    Aaahhh thank you so much for letting me talk about this @trashconverters, it’s my favourite topic ever haha. @N1ghtW1ng and @beagle866 I thought you might be interested in this thread!          ... View more

Hi @Carebear8088, thank you for checking in. Is this something you struggle with too? If so, feel free to start a thread or check out some of the links posted above! :)  I’m in much the same situation atm, which is frustrating because there’s stuff I need to save money for for next year. It makes me feel really bad about myself tbh. But I have a roof over my head (even if I don’t feel okay about being here) and food to eat and clean water which is a lot more than most people, so I’m doing okay :)  Idk if the guidelines are okay with me saying my city? I’m in nsw though.  ... View more

Hi @scared01, I hope you got some sleep the other night!  How is your pain today? Are you having another busy week?  ... View more

Oh cool @N1ghtW1ng! If there’s fire, does that mean there’s other characters with other elemental symbols, like water, air, earth? Are you building anything else atm?    Nice, good animation is so impressive. Haha I feel a bit similar about my favourite shows, it’s hard to choose just one favourite thing or character because everything’s so good!!! Are they going to make any more series or movies do you know?    (Sorry if I’m asking too many questions btw, it’s a show/topic I don’t know much about! :) ) ... View more

That’s really good that they’ve moved you up the list @scared01, it sounds like this is having a big impact on your life. I really hope you’re able to get something to control this flare up, being in pain makes mental health stuff so much worse.  I’m glad your gp is pretty good (and back!) although it is frustrating when you don’t have someone stable to rely on.  I have to go to bed but I’ll be around again tomorrow if you need someone to talk to  I hope the pain subsides enough for you to sleep. ... View more

It’s frustrating when there’s such a long queue hey @scared01. It sounds like you’ve been super busy on top of dealing with pain and distress! Monday sounds like a good idea.    That’s good. It sounds like you’re very on top of the physical stuff, but I agree that pain is super tiring and I hope you’re able to get some painkillers that help. Do you feel like your gp is helpful and like they listen to you? ... View more

You have very right to be frustrated @scared01, it sounds like you’re under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment and not having anyone to talk to about it must make it a lot heavier to carry!  I can empathise with needing to talk about something but not wanting to post publicly about it, especially when it involves family. Any chance eheadspace would do a few appointments with you or not really? I’m sorry if that’s something you’ve already tried.    It sounds awful to be in so much pain, although it’s a good thing that the meds have been helping you sleep. Are you expecting that this pain will reduce after your operation? Or is this from an unrelated thing?  ... View more

Thanks for letting us know @IsabellasRecovery, I am glad to hear you’re not going to act on the urges and that you can reach out for help if needed. Enjoy your new book! :) ... View more

Thank you @IsabellasRecovery, I will probably speak to my counsellor about it as I see her on Monday! :) I really admire your flexibility and resilience in adjusting to the changes your life has brought you.  ... View more