I’ve been sleeping all over the place lately (different emergency dept’s, different hospitals, different family members couches) and it’s made me think a lot about what my comfort objects are - the things that no matter what’s going on or how bad things are, I can hold onto these things and know I’m going to be alright! When I don’t have much of a home, I’ll lay out these things and know I’m at least kinda home.    For me, they’re: My denim jacket, it’s cosy and safe and warm and makes me feel like a badass!!  My toy bunny, she’s so soft and I can squeeze her really tight when I’m scared.  A small postcard icon of Mother Mary, I’m not super religious but something about the image brings me a lot of comfort! My boots with pride shoelaces, super comfy and tough and pretty.    What are everyone else’s comfort objects?    ... View more

Hi everyone. It’s been ages since I’ve been here but I guess I felt in need of some community and peer support at the minute.    Since I was here last, I moved to another city, got a job, had a relapse and started self harming again, attempted suicide, had 4 trips to ED and spent two weeks across two different psych units. I also started long distance dating the most awesome and amazing person (which kinda made up for the rest of it)!   I’m currently staying with my parents, which is a bit of a nightmare, and planning to quit my job and move back to my home city. The reasons I want to quit are: I’m working in a public hospital and I feel like the hospital system harms patients and I don’t to be part of it; full time work is exhausting and leaves me no time to work on my own recovery; the number of people I had to interact with and the constant noise badly affected my mental health; plus the suburb I moved to is racist and homophobic which was affecting me to the point I didn’t want to leave the house. Butttt this job is a really great opportunity AND I feel guilty and anxious about wasting the financial help my family gave me to help set up here.    I’m planning to beg community MH to let me see their social worker with the aim of getting into a disability employment service who can help me find part time work. But I feel so ashamed at the thought of being unemployed and also a lot of grief at leaving my flat - as scary and isolated as it’s been the last few weeks, I still really am going to miss it and the beginnings of a home I built there :(    Please tell me that I’m not throwing my life away? Because I really feel like I am.  ... View more

My question is how do other people decide what to do with their lives?!    I have a good job/career but I basically see that as a job, I don’t think work is the most important part of life, even if it’s a skilled and stable job with good career prospects. I also spend my entire adolescence believing that I would kill myself before I reached 21 so even though I’m in my 20s I feel like I’m really still at a 14/15yo level of figuring myself out!!    A part of me wants to become a nun (seriously. It’s something I’ve wanted for a very long time and whatever I do I can’t seem to shake the thought). A part of me wants to raise a child as a single parent (this might be impossible though, for a number of reasons). A part of me wants to spend my life with a life partner and not have kids (I’m a lesbian and the though of spending my life with a woman is  ).    Do you just wait and see what happens??? I know I have at least 1/2 more years of just working, but it’d be nice to have a goal in mind so I feel less...empty all the time.  ... View more

Hi all. It’s been a really long time since I’ve been here. I stopped logging on because I knew I wasn’t using the space healthily or productively, but today I was so frustrated, I just had to share to hopefully get some validation.    So I’m moving for work; I thought my job would be at a certain place, and then I found out it will actually be at a different place for 5 months, and then probably at the first place for 7 months. This is extremely frustrating because it means somehow finding housing for 5 months and then moving again, and it’s frustrating because I now have to move to an area I didn’t anticipate moving to and don’t know much about. But, it’s doable and I have almost a month to sort housing out before my contract starts. I’m trying very hard to stay positive and optimistic about it, because after all, I’m still moving out of home and I still have a job.    The problem is that my family (who are way, way over involved) are so, so stressed out about the change. Two (very beloved) relatives called me separately to offer stressed out advice and be pessimistic about everything. My mother doesn’t know yet but I’m sure when I tell her she’ll freak out, be in a bad mood for days, and complain about how stressed and tired she is constantly. Without asking me, my relatives have already started looking for places for me to live and have decided they’ll come over tomorrow to help me.    I’m usually very tolerant of my family and work really hard to keep them happy and as un-anxious as possible, but I’ve just reached the end of my rope...so far today I’ve taken my sister to her doctor’s appointment, bought her more meds, done the grocery shopping, cleaned the kitchen, and organised dinner, which I’m about to cook. I’m exhausted, and I’m upset that I don’t get to feel stressed or have any emotional reactions to this because I am so run off my feet trying to explain ‘oh it’s not a big deal, I’ve already got this plan and this plan in place, thank you so much for your help, it’s all okay, I’m not even worried at all.’ They’ve been like this the whole time. How do I get everyone to back off and let me deal with this problem (which I am 100% capable of dealing with, I’ve organised housing stuff for other people before) myself??  ... View more