Dear best friend, I know i haven't been present lately and i know you can feel it when i'm distancing myself, when i avoid your eye contact. When i pretend i can't feel your concerned gazes. I'm sorry i brush it off by saying i'm okay when you try to reach out to me. It's just so hard to tell you how i feel, when i could potentially ruin our entire friendship by three simple words that i let slip out casually but secretly hold so much weight. I can't tell you how i feel because i simply refuse to let myself feel this way. If i can't accept it how can you? It's so hard seeing you everyday and not be able to stop how i'm feeling. How can i tell you that you are the reason i'm feeling this way? Please stop making me feel this way or just give me some space. Love, your friend ... View more

Dear Creator, I don't mean to be negative, but why are we here? Why is there so much hate and pain? Why do we have to live through all this shit when we all die in the end anyway? What is our purpose in this world? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel, is all the pain all part of a greater outcome? Why did you create something so horrible? Are you even real or is this all a joke?  ... View more

Dear [name], Sometimes it's really hard to tell what's on your mind, sometimes you tell me one thing but your actions say another. I'm scared and i don't know why, sometimes i feel like i could never bare to lose you and other times i wish i never met you. You're the person who understands me the most but the person who fails to read me the most. Sometimes i feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, why do you do this to me? ... View more

@Eden1717 I'm sorry that your psychologist is leaving. It must really suck to have that one person who you could talk to not be there for you anymore. I think its understandable that you're sick of people telling you to get professional help as if it will just make all your negative feelings go away.  I think sometimes the best person to help us is ourselves, no one knows us better than ourselves. But it can be really isolating and lonely when we shut others out. It's hard to face things on our own and that's when we need people to confide in, to listen and to understand us. Not everyone knows what to say or understand how we feel but we still need to communicate our feelings if not to someone then to ourselves. I recommend writing everything down when you feel over whelmed sometimes we don't want to talk to someone but writing down our thoughts help release some of those emotions. I hope you feel better and know that we are also here to listen. ... View more

I know exactly how you feel, i think every time i got out to a social event i would feel really anxious, my stomach would constrict and i would feel like i could not breathe. Sometimes it would happen when i walk through the front gates of my school or on the car ride to my friend's party. During the holidays I flaked out on plans so much that my friends started planning things without me. But the problem for me isn't that i didn't like social event or hanging out with my friends, it's that i feel really exhausted and lonely when i did. Words don't come out so easily when your an introvert it's almost like we speak a different language, it's rare that we find someone who understands us, someone we can connect with and feel comfortable with. All i can say is just to keep being yourself, it's okay to be afraid sometimes, it's okay to say no to plans because you don't feel up to it, but we have to remember that we aren't alone, that there is someone else who feels as uncomfortable as us, we just have to take things one step at a time, one conversation at a time. The more we embrace these fears the faster we can overcome them.  ... View more

I just binge-watched all three seasons of Faking it. At first, i thought it was a cliche teenage drama but this show really pushed the boundaries of cliche stereotypes and now i don't know what to watch anymore.   ... View more

@Bee  Thank you for the analogy, that does make a lot of sense because i feel like there are times where my cup builts up so much that just one drop overflows the whole cup and I'm left wondering why that tiny drop effects me so much but it's only because i haven't emptied the cup in a long time. I feel like this week everything has been happening all at once. Exams got me so exhausted and lack the emotional energy to talk to my friends. I have been feeling really irritated with myself and I ended up lashing out on my brother, my mum and a close friend of mine. I don't know why i felt so irritated and angry towards people that care about me. I have been saying things out of frustration. I feel like I'm letting everyone down and honestly don't feel like trying anymore. I made plans with my friends for the coming weekend but right now i feel like I'm not up for it. I don't think i have anymore energy to anything at all. ... View more

It's kinda like going to the doctors for when you feel really sick but when you're sitting in the waiting room you start to question your symptoms and suddenly you think you may not be as sick as you think. This is how i feel whenever i feel like telling my mum about these feelings, it's like my brain plays tricks on me.  ... View more

@Bee, @Erin-RO and @LeoTheLion Thank you for the reply, I have spoke with my friend who has depression and he told me that no matter how hard taking the first step in talking to my parents about depression is, it's that best way to get help. Even though every bone in my body is telling me not to worry them or let them know that there is something wrong with me (I know technically it's normal to have mental illness but to me it feels humiliating). Although in my case no matter how bad my depression gets i still feel the need to keep going keep smiling, it doesn't affect me on a daily basis like it does for my friend. So I'm not sure if telling my parents is a good thing, they have a tendency to overreact and analyse everything. I feel like if i speak to my parents about the possibility of having depression they might ask me for reasons on why i feel this way; and I don't really have one. Its just helpless when I don't know why i feel this way so I don't know how to solve it. I'm not sure if i made any sense. ... View more

@Erin-RO Thanks for the support, I have never used a hotline before, I'm pretty bad with talking about how i feel, even with my friends or family. I have a counsellor at my school but i have never felt like i could talk to her, i'm pretty sure students only go to her if they wanted to skip class or use her colouring books. I will check out the link though. Thank you ... View more

Dear [name], You're an idiot, you have no idea what you could have done. You have no idea how much damage and pain you could have caused. Life is fragile and you almost took yours away. F--k you for being so inconsiderate. F--k you for having the nerve to make plans together and decide to throw it all out the window. I'm sorry i didn't make you feel like you can come to me for help. I'm sorry I didn't check up on how you were doing, I'm sorry I didn't have the right words to make it go away, I'm sorry lacked the emotional energy to reply to your last message. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me and I'm sorry I became so distant. I guess i just wanted to block it out too. We all have our problems and it's okay not to feel okay but it's not okay to give up, it's not okay to leave behind your friends and loved ones. But you're still here for a reason and there's so much more to life than you have yet experienced. You hit rock bottom last night and there will be more obstacles in life but i hope you see that things will go up from now. It has to get better. -R ... View more

Dear everyone, I don't know how or why our society came to condemn and undervalue the issue of mental illness. Our cries for help is seen as a cry for attention, showing emotions are seen as weakness. Suddenly it's rude to say you're having a bad day if someone asks how you are, it's only correct and polite to say you're good. Mannerisms and social conventions are all built on everyone putting on a facade, we lie just so the other person won't have to feel uncomfortable, suddenly talking about our problems is a waste of somebody's time. "Teenagers are all angsty," they say, "mood swings," they say, "just trying to get attention," they say. Well, I don't even know what to say, i have a friend who is depressed and I don't know what to say to make it all go away. I wish i could say it's just "teen angst" and that it will all go away, but the truth is mental illness stays with us and we are all made to keep it to ourselves like it contagious, like it's insignificant, like it's a burden. Why do we have to hide it? Why can't we just talk about it without mocking it or justifying it? - R ... View more

Dear little genius,   It was my fault, i let you down, I spoke of hights and you watched me fall down. It was my fault, i can see the disappointment in ur eyes, i can see the shame, the diminishing hope, the embrassment and I'm sorry i let you down. I'm sorry for not being the example you were hoping for. I wanted so badly to explain myself but all i had were excuses and you don't deserve excuses. I can barely look you in the eye and you can barely look in mine. I promise to be better, but I'm so beaten down, I'm so burnt out and ashes don't rise. Ashes fade to black and will be long forgotten. I'm sorry I'm not who i appear to be, but this is who i am, who i was and who I've become, i am everything you wish I wasn't. Sorry i disappointed you.   -R ... View more

Do i wanna know? Arctic Monkeys ... View more

@gina-RO sorry for the late reply, i am feeling better than i did before. I find that sometimes i just need to lie down on my bed, close my eyes and just listen to music. I find that the more i try to stop the feeling of sadness the more intensely i feel it and the best thing to do is accept that this is how i'm feeling at the moment and try to remember that it will pass. Writing down my thoughts also helps, i find myself not being able to concerntrate on whatever i'm doing unless i write my thoughts down even if it is one sentence or a whole paragraph. As for talking to someone about these feelings i haven't had the courage to tell my family yet, part of the reason is because i'm not sure what this is yet and i don't want them to over react or ask me for reasons as to why i'm feeling this way. Sometimes i feel completely fine and sometimes i don't. It might not be anything but it could also be something. Mental illness is not something that is talked about in an open minded way in my family. I have an uncle who suffers from depression and he is a topic that is avoided at dinner tables, it's still very much a taboo subject.     ... View more

@ErinsAntics I come from a conservative household too and not only are my parents religious but they hold cultural values in a high regard. I attended an all-girls Catholic school for a year and having lived in an Islamic country for five years i am basically in somewhat of a bad situation for a queer teen. I guess that might be the reason why i find Love Simon so hard to relate to. I go to school everday and kids spew the words gay and faggot like meaningless insults and accusations. I keep my mouth shut when political issues concerning LGBTQ are mentioned over the dinner table because i can already feel my parents' tension and discomfort building with just a mere thought that two people of the same gender can fall in love.  I'm not saying I'm not grateful for the movie though because i definitely agree that it's a huge step for LGBTQ representation in the media and i got super excited when i watched the trailer. I can't say that 12 years old me would have ever imagined that in a few years i would be sitting in the cinema with my friends, watching a movie with a gay main character six months after just coming out to them. I was just disappointed that the reality of Love Simon isn't my reality. Hopefully in a few years it will be. ... View more

@sweet_baking I personally found Moonlight more relatable as it touches on darker themes such as substance abuse, bullying, struggle with identity and the vulnerability of love. It accurately depicts how hard it is to grow up especially while struggling with your sexuality and it has a more serious tone compared to Love Simon. The characters in Moonlight are very three dimensional and they feel like real people, there isn't a one-sided villain and you can clearly see how each individual character effect and help shape the main character into who he is at the end of the movie. The movie follows the main character's journey from a young child to a teenager and then into adulthood. The way they filmed the movie is one of the best things about it, some scenes are filmed in first person perspective and allow you to really put yourself in his shoes. There are also scenes where the audio and visuals are misaligned which represent how the character feels at that exact moment. Overall, it's one of my favourite movies due to its attention to detail and the way they capture the audience into the movie. The only criticism I have for the movie is that there are gaps between each chapter, the time jumps distance us away from the character only to draw us back in and leaving us again. It's almost as if the main character was a different person at different stages of his life which was the director's intention I suppose.  I really want to hear your thoughts on the movie too. I feel like Love Simon is a feel-good movie and Moonlight is more melancholic; both good in their own way. ... View more

@sweet_baking I personally found Moonlight more relatable as it touches on darker themes such as substance abuse, bullying, struggle with identity and the vulnerability of love. It accurately depicts how hard it is to grow up especially while struggling with your sexuality and it definitely has a more serious tone compared to Love Simon. The characters in Moonlight are very three dimensional and they feel like real people, there isn't a one-sided villain and you can clearly see how each individual character effect and help shape the main character into who he is at the end of the movie. The movie follows the main character's journey from a young child to a teenager and then into adulthood. The way they filmed the movie is definitely one of the best things about it, some scenes are filmed in first person perspective and allow you to really put yourself in his shoes. There are also scene where the audio and visuals are misaligned which represents how the character feels at that exact moment. Overall it's one of my favourite movies due to it's attention to detail and the way they encapture the audience into the movie. The only criticism i have for the movie is that there are gaps between each chapter, the time jumps distance us away from the character only to draw us back in and leaving us again. It's almost as if the main character was a different person at different stages of his life which was the director's intention i suppose.  I really want to hear your thoughts on the movie too. I feel like Love Simon is a feel-good movie and Moonlight is more melancholic; both good in their own way. ... View more

@ErinsAntics I agree it was a great film and there isn't many main stream movies with Lgbtq characters as leads. I really liked the fact that it was a coming of age film and it is relatable to most teens gay or straight. The movie just had a really nice atmosphere to it and i liked how it's lighthearted and it didn't feel as if it was condemning. I do feel however, that Simon's situation is not an acurrate representation of all Lgbtq people. Ofcourse the point of the movie is to spread a positive message and show everyone that being gay is okay. But the movie to me didn't effectively pull my heart strings, i felt like the movie focused more on romanticising Simon's situation rather than elaborating on how hard it is to accept your sexuality and come out to friends and family. I felt like Simon was essentially in the best situation possible, his family was really accepting, so was his friends. Eventhough he was outed instead of coming out on his own, not much repercussions were shown. Although i did get teary eyed during the scene with Simon and his father, i felt like more should be focused his coming out journey than all the drama with love triangles and betrayals. But overall it was definitely a good watch,the soundtrack was great, and some of the shots were very aesthetic.    I do recommend the movie Moonlight, which is a movie about a queer teen's journey of coming out in a black neighbourhood. Let me know your thoughts on the movie if you do watch it. ... View more

Dear friend, i wish you knew just how much you matter to everyone, i wish you knew that not even a singer drop of your tears are worth the person who caused you pain. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, maybe then all your insecurities will disappear and be replaced with admiration and joy. I wish you knew that you are perfect inside and out, you are more than enough and even when you feel like you aren't. I wish you put yourself first, i wish you you knew you don't need anyone to judge your worth. I wish you knew. ... View more

@_cripplingdepression_ Feeling the same thing right now actually, I'm hanging out with my friends at this exact moment and i have never felt so lonely in a while. I keep checking on my phone and wishing the time goes on quicker. I keep checking my chats wishing i could distract myself by starting a conversation with whoever is online. I'm usually one of the most talkative in the group but lately i feel like I can't even formulate words. I have been feeling down this whole week and I'm supposed to feel better when I'm with my friends, but right now i feel worse, it's ironic because my friends are supposed to be the people that I'm most comfortable with, I'm not supposed to feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I don't know why I'm feeling so down lately. It's the worse because I can't even explain why I'm sad. ... View more

@sociallyawkwardgirl Not a stupid concern at all. I'd be lying if i said that thought never went through my mind either. It's one thing to come out to your friend and another thing to confess your feelings to someone. It sucks when you have to worry about whether or not they will have that sort of reaction when you come out especially from your best friend. But i think we always assume the worst possible situation, it's hard to predict what sort of reaction your friends will have. Some of my friends just didn't have any reaction, one of my friends even came out back to me. Fortunately I didn't really have a negative response from any of my friends infact some of them were even excited to know if my crush is a girl, since i never really said much when they were always talking about which guys they liked. But even if your friend does react badly I'm sure they will come around to see that you are the same person you are regardless of who you are attracted to. If you think that coming out to your best friend will change how close you guys are then maybe wait for the right time to do it. Try and bring up a conversation about lgbt+ with your best friend and see how they react to it, it may help you see whether they are comfortable with it. My friends for example were always fangirling about Magnus and Alec (from Shadowhunters) and that's how i knew that they wouldn't have a negative reaction if i chose to come out to them.  I hope it helps, tell me how it goes.   ... View more

I think it's okay that you aren't feeling ready to talk about your sexuality or coming out. You will do it when you're ready and it takes as long as it takes, the first time i came out to my friends as bi, i felt like they forced it out off me or that if I didn't tell them it was like lying to them. I wasn't ready to accept my sexuality yet so the months following my coming out i felt like the world was on my shoulders. I felt anxious whenever the topic of being gay was brought up. It was only last year that I finally learned to accept myself and worked up the courage to come out to the rest of my friends. My parents however, aren't like your dad they get extremely uncomfortable whenever the topic of homosexuality comes up. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that coming out is constant, it's hard but it can also be easy, it's easier if you accept yourself for who you are before you let others decide your worth. We are so much more than our sexualities, our sexuality is only a small part of us and if people chose to judge us based in our sexuality then they are not worth our time and effort. I hope it goes well for you when you do decide to come out, we will be here for you!😊 ... View more

Hey @Whatevertreveor, From what I have gathered you really want to be open with you grandparents about your girlfriend but you're not sure how to do it. You mentioned that your grandparents won't care that much about it, have the topic of your sexuality came up? I'm also bi and i know that whenever the topic of my sexuality comes up with my parents I immediately shoot it down. But it sounds like you are quiet comfortable with yourself and have came out to everyone apart from your nan and grandpa. Since the marriage equality results are released you can try to bring up their opinion on it and start from asking them how they feel about it. There isn't a right or wrong way of coming out. But a good way to do it is just start by sitting them down and just talking to them about it, you might be surprised by their reaction. Sometimes we tend to expect the worst outcome to avoid rejection. You can mention how much your girlfriend means to you and you'll never know maybe they will be happy for you, if not they get a chance to warm up the the idea of it. Just go with your gut, if the idea of telling them excite you as much as it makes you nervous you know it's the right time. I hope that helps. ... View more

@Birdeye Well i actually skipped the first episode and started the third episode which is "entire history of you" I found that episode a quite good starting point because that episode was purely about how technology effects our relationship with others. If they did not have gains implanted in them they would live completely in the moment and not rely on playing past memories or take the present for granted. Which the main character did as he kept obessing about how his wife cheated on him that he fails to see that he can't change what she did and that by forcing her to replay the deed he ended up losing her. But i went back to watch the previous episodes and it works just fine. I don't think it matters what episode you start with however, the first episode is quite heavy and may discourage some viewers. ... View more

Well everyone has great answers! lets see... 1. My thirst for knowledge, I'm always curious about how everything works and obesessed with the smallest details. (some people find physics boring but i'm always excited by the facts i learn)   2. My diverse music taste, I parctically have music of every genre you can name! from RnB, Classical, Folk, Indie, Rock, alternative, Hip Hop, EDM, Electro swing and so on...   3. and lastly my resilience, i may not be the most optimistic at times and frankly thinking about the future scares me but i always pull through difficult times. (In life, whenever their are ups there are downs - just like the science term "regression to the mean" it basically means things tend to even out over time) Things won't always be good but they also won't always be bad either.     ... View more

@Bree-RO I'm also at episode 3. I just really want an Eleven and Mike reunion!  Eleven breaks my heart, just seeing Mike talking to her through the radio waiting for her to respond while she is silently listening is so sad. Mike's coldness towards Max is also interesting to see, because it shows how unwilling Mike is to open up to her because he doesn't want her to replace Eleven. Also it's quite unnerving to see Dustin get so attached to the baby demogorgon, i have a feeling that there are thousands of them and they are what's responsible for infesting the pumpkins! I also really like Jonathon and Nancy's friendship although i wish they were more than that, personally i think he would be a better boyfriend than Steve. ... View more

Hey, You will never get to read this but i just wanted to say i'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times i have apologized but never got to make it up to you. I'm sorry for all the times i made you feel like second choice. I'm sorry for our 4am talks about life and the promises of things we will do together in the future but never got to keep. I'm sorry i was never there when you needed me the most. I'm sorry for pretending i was okay with you getting hurt, for under playing how much i cared about you and how much i hated seeing you with someone else. For all the times i never told you that i missed you and all the times i backspaced messages i wanted to tell you. I'm sorry for being exactly want you don't need - for being another passerby in your life. I'm sorry for ghosting you out, for taking you for granted, for missing you after you left. I'm sorry for not making you realize that i love you, i'm sorry i never got to say it back to you. I'm sorry for not being enough to make you want to stay. I'm sorry that i'm still missing you. - R ... View more