Hi MB95, I definitely get you with the worrying. I used to be an extreme worrier. Over the smallest things, I’d make myself almost sick. But I heard that little mantra from somebody and I wrote it down. I then read it slowly about 10 times and spent some time really thinking about it. And I was like “OMG! That is actually so true!” So the next time something came up, I just reminded myself of that and it definitely brought the levels down. Now it’s just a habit that when I immediately react to something, that mantra pops into my head. It was by no means a quick process but over time (5 years), I’m now down to almost 0 worry about anything! :P I think it’s about recognizing the steps. Even a small amount of progress needs to be rewarded. Regarding the psych referring you on; looking back, I’m so glad that my initial psych did. Because if I had of stayed with her, I wouldn’t have gotten the best support I needed. Things would have been slower to improve and for the both of us, it was best. She was out of her depth and I needed a different sort of focus. Having her tell me relatively early on also helped with the whole separation as well. I was upset and didn’t want to tell her for fear of this, but she outright said that if I’m not honest, I won’t get the best care (from her or someone else) and may end up in hospital for example. Regarding new psychs, they will always refer you on and set you up with someone. Someone mentioned it (I forget who) that they have that duty of care and they can’t just leave and not tell you or pass you along to someone else. They may also pass you to your GP who may have better psyc contacts as well. Every time I changed, I got to have an initial one or two sessions as a sort of assessment to see if they might be able to help and if I liked them (remember it’s a two-way thing). For some of them ie. when leaving hospital, the old one would sit in with the new one to help this out. But when not in hospital, they may either overlap or start like the week or two after one has left. But they’ll always tell you about the helplines that’s are there if that two week gap is too long or recommend a Uni counsellor etc. Regarding the gifts, I tend to think that a) I don’t really know them so what would I buy anyway and I’ll save my money haha. B) A simple thank you card actually goes a lot further than a gift and it’s up to them whether they keep that or not, but it won’t be something they refuse Upfront like they might with a gift (although unlikely). And c) it is their job really and I guess you don’t really buy gifts for your dentist or GP etc. I know it’s a bit different as you seem them frequently and they know more personal details, but that’s what they get paid for :) Having said that, I did get one of mine a gift because they went above and beyond. I was living in this place and was seeing them daily for about a year, so it was a looser sort of relationship. But I think a card is both thoughtful and safe and shows your appreciation really well. You’ll get there! It just takes time and practice. That switch may be one that slowly flicks and it may not even happen with this psych. Or it could be something you see on your own! Just remember that they can’t do their job if you’re not telling them everything. 😃 Give yourself a break and reward those steps (such as speaking out on here). let me know if you have any other questions or need clarification etc. have a good one! ... View more

Hi @MB95, sorry for the delayed reply. It could just be something that has happened over time, but I've really come to realise that there really is no point in worrying. I'll do my best to concisely explain this: When you worry about something happening, you are essentially going through those feelings twice. Once when you worry about it possibly happening and then again if/when it actually does happen. And to me, the logical thing is to just remove that initial worry because you have no control overf events happening (such as a psych leaving etc.), so there's no point in having this worry that may not even happen. Does that sort of make sense? It's basically my mantra that enables me to be positive on most things. I know what I can and can't control and I chose to just wait and see what happens. Why chose to be sad or anxious!? I will just say that there are some definite negatives to this way of thinking if you become too extreme, but if you can adopt a little bit of that belief, I think you might find it helpful to just see how (almost) silly or unhelpful it is to worry before anything has even happened. Sorry, I feel like I just said 'worry' like 100 times! Hahaha. I guess i'm just trying to say that things can really have a huge difference if you just re-frame them slightly. And yes, I got really upset when my first pych moved me on (she didn't feel specialised enough). I was annoyed and upset because I actually wanted to talk to someone and then they couldn't see me anymore. I remember just looking at it (logically again) and seeing that it was neither of our fault, it was just the way it was. I also knew that if I held onto this and got really upset, that actually wouldn't change anything - it would just make me anxious and upset (like the worry). Easier said than done, but continuously looking forward (or at least at the present) can help with those fears around separation or loneliness. You honestly never know what's around the corner but if you are forever hoping for something or dreading something, are you ever really living? Anyway, I saw many other psychs and I moved on from leaving them just as I moved on as a person. In terms of adjusting to this recent move, I've already seen my new psych (so we are overlapping these last few weeks) that has been recommended by them. He's asked how it's going and if i'm frightened or sad or whatever, but for me, i'm not really feeling anything. Again, from a logical point of view, a psych is a psych and yes, you have to get on with them, but they all have the same end result in mind and that's to help you improve. Out of the 12 or so i've seen, there were only 2 that I didn't feel I was progressing much with (but not necessarily disliked). Regarding the time it took for me to open up, it was quite quickly when speaking with strangers i.e doctors and psychs because I didn't have as many emotional ties to them. I couldn't really offend them or hurt them or go against their wishes, so I just let them do their job and for that to happen, I had to tell them everything they needed so they could help. It's with my friends and family that I find it more difficult because you do see them all the time and you have established relationships and they aren't trained to be non-judgemental etc. etc. So again, logic helped me through it and I have no issue speaking to any (somewhat qualified) person. The family and friends, i'm working on, but honestly, speaking openly is so liberating, especially given my fears around speaking with my family and if it helps, knowing they are legally bound by confidentiality (within reason) takes even more pressure off. I'm actually so excited for you, because it does take those brave first few steps, but when you are able to speak openly, you'll feel it too - it's so freeing just to say it aloud and then any strategies etc. you're given are like a big bonus. But keep asking any questions. I honestly think I just had to flick that switch and see the logic one day and I haven't looked back since (hence my poor explanations :P ). Take Care! ... View more

Hey @MB95,   I definitely get your worries around speaking to your psych.  I’ve had many over the years and have definitely gotten better with the practice!   My current one of two years is actually leaving in a few weeks and whilst it’s sad and we got on and I could open up, I see it as a good opportunity to start fresh. There’s a clean slate that won’t be influenced by things I’ve said a long time ago that may not be relevant now.  I think writing things is a great idea, especially if it’s hard to talk. Even if it’s just dot points! What’s also really helpful but scary to do, is to actually tell them you’re nervous or unsure. They will likely talk a little more and ask specific questions that means you can just answer without over thinking it.  I've gotten to the stage where I feel I can be open straight away. I just don’t have the worries I used to and I know it will all be confidential etc.  Practice makes perfect!   Let us know how you go and what you found scary or hard.  ... View more

Hi @Charli_le_monke ,   how have you been the last few days? Just letting you know I’m also here to help listen and support you if you need.  Stay safe 😃  ... View more

I actually love all of these responses and couldn’t agree more. You’ve all put it into very good words 😃 ... View more

Hi @mspaceK, I've just been reading up on some of the issues you've had and i'm sorry that your house mates are being so difficult and unhelpful. I think it's a good idea to spend the night with your boyfriends and I hope seeing your relatives tonight went alright. Although it isn't a long term solution, it may be beneficial to stay with your boyfriend whilst you have a break to lower your anxiety and hopefully the chest pain. Just have a little bit of a break thinking about it and come back to it when you feel you can. I hope your chest anxiety goes away soon! ... View more

This is really great info to have. A great idea! ... View more

What are times in your week/day where you need to calm your nerves? How can you tell it's time take a moment to try something to help yourself calm down or relax a bit?   I think when I have been to work and i've got a lot due for Uni is when I notice I get quite anxious and need some time to relax. I find my mind starts racing and I get really agitated and irritable. Often it may mean I need to take a nap or do something fun like playing with the dogs. ... View more

Merry a Christmas to you @scared01!   And to everyone, I hope you have a great day and a Happy New Year.    I apologise for for being a bit absent. I really struggle this time of year 😕 ... View more

I have to send you all good night hugs. Off to sleep for me with an exam tomorrow! Yay!! :P Thanks for your responses! ... View more

Cow! <3 How cute!! Because cows are so gentle and adorable. Look at his face!! Way to go @Jesssister2001!! ... View more

@ Esperanza your favourite TV show is Brooklyn 99 and @ErinsAntics made the thread ... View more

I can't find it! Ahhhh :P ... View more

2. Find a favourite quote from a GR   This post from @Butterfly Wings in the GR: How Pets Affect our Mental Health It rings so true!     ... View more

Hi @scared01 ... View more

They are some great posts everyone. We definitely need to bring those threads back!   Now it's time for our next question:   2. Find a favourite quote from a GR ... View more

@Esperanza67 the video of the Hunger Games on that thread is hilarious!!! ... View more

OMG! Love it @litgym ... View more

I do this on occasions @lokifish! hahaha 9:36am :P  ... View more

Love the Brooklyn Nine-Nine @Bee :P ... View more

Sorry I missed the GR but it’s been really interesting reading your responses. They are really good! ... View more

Hello @Xyrume, I am also here for you and I am willing to listen. It's always best to get things off your chest and I think it's very brave and courageous of you to have spoken up about your concerns. Thinks will get better, i'm sure! Just remember to take care of yourself. ... View more

7. Do you think society puts too much pressure on those sitting exams? How can we lessen the pressure? I think we have come a long way. There is still too much emphasis on exam results and the amount of time one should be studying etc. but it is much less than it was a few years ago. In terms of mental health, I think it has finally come to the realisation of people that there has been too much pressure on students (And at such a young age). The curriculum is now changing next year (for the HSC anyway), so this will definitely help lessen the pressure and reinforcing that there are so many alternatives to Uni out there will help reduce this as well. ... View more

6. What are some other ways to go to uni if things don't work out? What @N1ghtW1ng said! Transferring across is so easy these days and they don't care about your ATAR after the initial year. ... View more

Very true @N1ghtW1ng and thank you for that @Puppies026. I'm keeping a broad mind and am open to all things that come my way. Hopefully I soon find something I really love and can really focus on that. When you love something, you tend to try harder. So studying a little more, doing readings etc. etc. And at the moment i'm struggling with that. Would I be right in saying that? ... View more

4. How can we keep busy while waiting for exam results? How do you feel about your results? I really just focused on other things and kept myself busy. I got a part time job as soon as exams were over and went on a holiday as a celebration. I actually forgot about the results (what day it was) and things like early offers meant I didn't have to worry either. I had really low expectations so was ecstatic when I got my results. That's why I was careful to pick a course that would be too difficult to manage (so I thought) :P ... View more

Good question @Birdeye. At the time, I think it was important for me to get into things. If I had of taken a gap year, I don't think I could have got going again. I also didn't have any money for travel. Whilst I didn't always like it and found it hard to motivate myself, I knew that having a schedule, so the Uni timetable and joining a few sporting groups would be good for me. I also don't really have preferences towards anything, ever, so not sure that will change too much. Unfortunately, that's something i've just had to live with. ... View more

I am @N1ghtW1ng! It's very interesting and although it's content heavy, I think it was a good decision. Science is so broad as well, so there are plenty of opportunities. ... View more

3. Did your exam marks affect what you ended up studying? Are you liking what you are currently doing? My marks didn't really matter because I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I just picked something that sounded interesting, knowing that I could change later anyway. As I was struggling at the time, I picked a course at Uni that was below my ATAR so as not to stretch myself too thin as I got back into things. ... View more

1. When you were in high school what did you want to do? Or if you still are in high school, what do you want to do? I really had no idea what I wanted to do (and still, i'm not certain). I just did basically one of each type of subject as I didn't have a preference. In the end, I picked a science type degree at Uni and yet I did no science in high school.   2. For those who are studying exams, what are your plans like for the future? How do you feel about finishing high school? I'm not studying for high school exams, but I just want everyone that is to know that they really aren't the be all and end all. These days, your marks mean almost nothing and there are always ways to get into courses and things you like.  ... View more