Hey @MB95, I’ve just been reading through some of this thread and want to just say that I’m sorry about your housemate. They sound like a handful and not an ideal person to be living with. I’ve not had any experience in a share house but I agree that any verbal abuse shouldn’t be tolerated. Taking to your psych and getting some legal advice sounds like a good idea. Let us know how it goes. ... View more

Hey @MB95,   I work in admin for the government so it’s been particularly busy lately with COVID-19. And I am now on a Uni break for a couple of weeks and then back at it again. It’s all online which I thought would give me more time but the motivation is no good hahaha.  How’d you go with applying for some places? And just because you’ve applied doesn’t mean you have to do them. You don’t want to put yourself under too much pressure, especially as you said your anxiety has been stopping you a lot lately. But applying is an awesome first step!     ... View more

Hi @MB95,   I've not caught up completely with the thread but I’m pleased to hear your placement was enjoyable. Although it’s over and I can hear you’re finding this “reality” of your current situation lonely. But it could also be a big motivator or drive to reach a point in your life/career where you can do that sort of thing everyday. If you think about how if you keep studying and get through these lonely and sometimes difficult times, you’ll get there - you’ll have more experiences like your placement.  And along the way, learning to recognize and hopefully prevent and cope with any triggers that may come up. Every time there is a trigger and you get through it, the stronger you become and over time, the less you will become triggered by that same thing.  As for me (and thanks for asking), I’ve just been very busy with Uni and then when COVID-19 hit, I actually got even busier with work and have been exhausted so unfortunately that meant taking some time away from here as I did not have the time or energy. :(  I planned to at least stay on when I could but apologies for not really explaining my absence. I guess I was a little guilty that I’d not been on in a while too.  But hopefully now I’ll be more available and I hope you had a good day today 😃  ... View more

Hey @MB95,   Sorry to hear you aren’t feeling great. What’s going on for you tonight?   Edit: I realised this was the other night, but how are you going anyway? (I’ve been absent lately I’m sorry) ... View more

Hi MB95, Well done for having the initiative to write some of those things down. Just remember that those things she suggested are just for consideration. You don’t have to do any of it. She may be suggesting a trauma specialist because she isn’t equipped to help you properly. I know I got on-referred because my psych (whom I loved) didn’t feel she could assist me properly and get me the care I needed. I was super upset but it was definitely the right decision in that some of the issues have been addressed and I’ve been able to get better. (Something she was pretty sure she couldn’t have done). Your psych also mentioned perhaps taking a break from Uni. This is obviously a decision that is completely up to yourself, but I’ll just give my opinion on which you can take or leave. This was once suggested for me, however, I knew that I did well when I was busy and had plenty of things to do. Despite it being stressful or even overwhelming at times, being busy was the only thing that kept me functioning. It kept my brain active and my mind working. My parents and I both knew that so we elected to reduce my load but certainly not cease everything. That way I was keeping busy but also not overloaded with things to do. It might be something to think about. Perhaps dropping one or two subjects so you’re only there part time or dropping all but one and maybe get a part time job. There are many possibilities, but I would just be careful about stopping everything as we require a stimulus to keep us functioning. And if there’s too much focus on your mental health and how you’re unwell and it’s a daily reminder, it can actually do more harm than good. This is also one of the reasons hospitals try to discharge you relatively quickly. Also be careful of the “all or nothing” phrase many people find themselves in. We have to try and find a middle ground 👍🏼 (I’m a big culprit of this 😝) Anyway, just some things to think about. And as always, keep us updated and let us know your thoughts on here 💜 ... View more

Hi @MB95, I’m sorry to hear of how you were feeling last night. But reading your post this morning is really encouraging. You have recognized that you don’t want to go down that path again and considering bringing it up to your psych is amazing. I do think this could benefit you both by doing this. Do let us know how it goes and I hope you’re feeling alright this morning. ... View more

Hey @MB95, I think that’s great you are even considering the group session. It shows great initiative from your part. I’ve done a few different types of sessions in groups and I think it helps to hear the perspectives of others and it also demonstrates that you’re definitely not alone in the way you’re feeling. I understand how it might be worse knowing that your psych is running the session, but given this is your first group session, I think it will be great for you! And you’re right - she knows you and she will be there to keep you feeling safe. I would say definitely go for it. You can always just give it a go and then decide later not to return. I guess you won’t know unless you try. And I’ve never found them unhelpful, even if it is just to hear a few people’s ideas. Let us know what you’re thinking. 👍🏼💜 ... View more

I love this! And you’re support is always so good. I’ve still got a couple of years, but I do recognize when I need to focus on only myself and have a little break (like before). But I’m happy to know you’ll be here @scared01! 💜😊 ... View more

Hey @scared01! I know I haven’t been on for a while. Got back about a month ago. Good to see you still here! 💜👍🏼 ... View more

Hi @MB95    No worries about the posts and of course every person and their family will be different. My Mum is actually quite naturally anti-psychology or medication or any practitioner help really. It took her a long time to accept the fact that she couldn’t help and I needed more specialist support. Even now, she wonders if I’ll continue medication and seeing someone regularly.  So to get her to see someone is basically out of the question. That being said, she tried once because all of my drs told her to, but never again.  I came to accept the fact that no matter what I said or did, she wasn’t going to change her mind and so now I don’t take responsibility for her feelings and I’m able to let her deal with her own feelings because there’s nothing I can do, so I’ll just focus on my own.  But how are you going tonight?  I know you said you feel like people think you’re lying but I agree with everything @scared01 has said.   And so see coming on here as a bad thing. It’s great! You’re actually actively seeking help which is a massive achievement.  ... View more

Hi @aphrodite96, I just wanted to say that I’m here to support you. I think you’ve been so brave and courageous to share this on here and although it may be hard to believe right now, the others are certainly right that it isn’t your fault. You need to put yourself first now and do what’s best for you and only you. 💜 ... View more

Hey @MB95,   I know you’ll be going to your appointment soon, but I thought I’d let you know that it’s absolutely fantastic you managed to write that much! 👍🏼 Don't feel embarrassed about it. I would definitely still give it to her and she can read it in her own time, perhaps before your next session.  I think my method was because I used to do it frequently and she’d read it on the spot, but as a first letter, that’s great and also about how long mine was! 😆   Hopefully it helped putting some of those ideas onto paper too!   I’ll let you go to the appointment, but I just want you to know that I’m really proud of you for writing it and definitely think you should give it to her. You are absolutely doing all the right things! 👍🏼😀   I hope it goes well. 😊 ... View more

Me too @Jess1-RO! ... View more

Hey @MB95,   I hope you’re doing okay. I think it’s great you’re going to write a letter to your psych.  What I used to do when I wrote to them, is I’d make a list of everything I wanted to mention. Then I’d put that list into an order. After that, I would write proper paragraphs or more about each. Now, I did this because it was actually a mindfulness activity I found helpful and allowed me to get everything out of my head and onto the page. I would then read back through it and really cross out (like scribble and press hard into the paper :P ) the irrelevant things I may have rambled about. That way I had a shortened piece of writing to give them that still included the main points. When I had my final letter, I would rip up all of the drafted papers and throw them away. To me it was sort of like letting them go or detaching the stresses from me and it would take a huge weight off my shoulders (especially those little irrelevant things I scribbled out).  This may be something you would like to try which also serves as a grounding/self-awareness/mindfulness activity whilst being productive in getting to the point for your psych.  Also, it doesn’t really matter, but I liked to header my topics so that in future, my psych could easily find what I expressed rather than reading a slab of paragraphs looking for one point.  That’s just one thing I used to do and it may or may not be beneficial for you. But regardless of what you decide to do, I think it’s great you’re going to write her one!   Let us know how it goes and if you need any ideas.  ... View more

Hi @MB95, I know it can be so hard to tell others and you may even think it wasn't worth it, but I can assure you it is. What you achieved to be able to tell your parents is a massive step and more details can be explained later. It's always that first step which is the hardest. My parents were also quite good at hiding their feelings, but I could tell it was affecting them quite a bit. Being my parents, they didn't want me to think they couldn't cope or were struggling because they knew I had enough to deal with on my own. This used to upset me so much and I regretted telling them (similar to you). However, a psych once said that firstly, you can't help others until you help yourself and secondly, that you're not responsible for the reactions or feelings other people have. Only they are responsible. And so only they can change it. That did make sense to me, so I tried really hard for the benefit of everyone around me, to get well so that I could help them. I also told my parents that I think they should go see someone; to get a referral from a GP just to talk it through. I also gave them a few helpline numbers and websites for parents such as KidsHelpline and I know there's a parents forum section on here. They were very appreciative and assured me they were fine. I have been secretly quite worried about them (and still am), but i've found little hints that they have actually been getting some help and talking to people which i'm really happy about. I ask them outright and they say they've tried some face to face sessions etc. but now it's more just on the phone when they need it. And actually, it's usually just talking with each other or me that they find the most helpful. When i'm able to clarify things, it puts their mind at rest. I know you mentioned you don't think your Mum especially could take it, but perhaps let her know that you're open to questions. Because she won't ask a question she can't take an answer for. Even my Mum took quite a while to ask me some things because she wasn't prepared for the possible answer (esp. around safety). But when she was ready, she did and I helped to clarify things and she no longer catastrophes' everything. I know it's a really tricky situation and all families are different, but if you can, just try and be open. That doesn't mean you have to tell them everything, it just means being open to answer any questions so that your parents can take their own time with it. You don't have to tell them anything until they ask, if this is something you'd prefer. Give it a go, if you can. Try and be as honest and I can assure you that they won't ask things that will 'break' them when you answer because when you ask a question, you already know the possible answers so they've got to have thought about it to come up with it. But that does mean you have to let them know that you actually will answer questions, otherwise they won't ask. I hope some of that makes sense. Good luck with it and do let us know how you go. ... View more

Hi @MB95,   That's great about the meds and I think you’ve done really well in taking on all of our suggestions and ideas.  Also, I did wonder whether that toddler analogy may be an odd one. But I just want to clarify that I didn’t mean it as someone being young, pathetic and helpless, but more that a toddler is growing up and learning and we are all growing and learning with mental health. Fortunately, we don’t often have these concerns as a toddler, but it means we have to start learning later in life.  I hope that makes a bit more sense because I certainly think you are more than capable and should give yourself more credit!   I'm clearly having an analogy day today haha.  ... View more

Hi @MB95,   Heads up: This is a very long post! :P Firstly, what you wrote made perfect sense! I’m sorry you had that pretty terrible day when coming off the medication. I remember I went away for a 3 day sport thing and forgot all of my medication. I knew what happened when I missed a dose so tried to mentally prepare myself. So, I always feel much more suicidal, moody, irritable and just sick. But, it’s still so hard to change that frame of mind when the effects are so major.  I’m glad that you’ll try and ween off them more slowly. However, and it’s totally a personal thing and I get you being anti medication, as I sort of am, but I can recognize that, yes, like you, they reduce some of the suicidal thoughts.  But, don’t you think the reduction of SOME of the thoughts is better than none? Think back to when you last felt suicidal and just how awful it was. Now think that if you come off the medication, that will be more frequent. I’m not wanting to sway you in a direction because it is your choice, but this is simply what I thought about when I was in the same position as you.  As for the time you’ve been on them, I definitely get that you thought you’d be feeling much better all round. Not so numb and less suicidal and less anxious, but tbh, compared to myself, I had no positive affects after 6 months of medication.  This is my fifth year on medication and we are still adjusting it all the time. Some of them have worked in some aspects, so we alter it to help other areas and then problems may arise so we try a new one altogether or add an additional one.  It is an extremely long and painful process, but now that I have found a concoction that, compared to when I first started, has absolutely changed my life for the better, I do not regret the 5 years of side effects and changing and everything. And it has been mentioned the long term goal will to be off all medication, but I can’t deny the fact it has helped. Mentally, it was hard to get my head around the fact that this medication was making me so sick but I should keep trying them, but now that there’s been some success, it is all worth it. And I constantly remind myself of the beginning and now and the comparison is great.  You’ve also got to take a bit of control. So I became sick of feeling just sad and crying about random things as a direct result of medication. It helped with anxiety and suicidal thoughts etc, but the crying was so annoying. So I just walked in to my psychologist who is also a psychiatrist and was like “I can’t take it anymore. I need to change the medication. I just cry over random things.” And he was like, right. Okay. Thanks for telling me and that same session he altered it and it was great. But had I not told him and sort of demanded a change, I likely would have stayed on that dose.  So maybe you can look at what the future of altering medication etc. holds for you. Because, I can assure you that the chances of finding a concoction of medication that does all those things you mentioned, is very likely,  but you just have to stick with it and accept it may take some time. 😃 👍🏼   Regarding the guilt, just think about when you do find the right combo of medication how much happier you and your family will be for you. You wouldn’t hesitate taking medication for pain if you broke your arm etc. And this is a type of pain. It’s a terrible mental pain which sometimes requires medication to help ease it.  Again, I don’t want to push you to do anything, I just want to give my perspective and experience so you can make a well-rounded decision. 😊   In terms of your psych, what I used to do when I thought, ”Nope. I’m not seeing them again.” I gave them 3 more sessions before making up my mind. Because I knew that the reason I disliked it may have been a result of many things unrelated to our relationship. So, perhaps I was having a particularly bad day or maybe they were! Or perhaps I wasn’t listening or was distracted. So I made sure to go another 3 times and if then I still believe it’s not a good fit, I’ll make the next move to find someone else.  And I know many people have said it, but it’s the job of a psych to take on your problems and help you work through them. When you hire a plumber to fix your leaking tap, you don’t feel guilty or like a burden for making them come and fix it and a psych is no different. It’s literally their job and it’s what you pay them for, just like a plumber. They actually need you for business but they’re obviously not going to abuse that also.  I would out rightly ask why she thinks fortnightly will be better and then that can help you ease into sharing your thoughts that you are struggling a bit more and would prefer weekly.    Just let her know that you’re not sure you’re ready to talk about ... trauma yet and maybe start with something easier. Just ease into it. Unfortunately it is a long and tiring process, but I guarantee it will be worth it!   And it’s so much easier to have support than do it alone. Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved. In this time of great difficulty, relying on your psych is not a bad thing. It’s like when you’re a toddler. You have to have your parents there or you’ll do something dangerous or silly like run on the road. Until you learn and practice that that’s something you shouldn’t do, you have to rely on your parents.  Over time, your parents will slowly let you be more independent and learn and try things and I can assure you that your psych will ease you off relying on her. They’re a professional and know how to do it really well without leaving you feeling alone and incapable.  I know that was a ridiculously long post, but just wanted to get it down before I forgot haha.  You're doing so well @MB95! 💜 ... View more

Hi @MB95,   I'm sorry to hear things have been a bit tough. It sucks doesn't it? You do something really hard and you push through (like when telling your parents) and then something else happens!  I actually really liked @MisoBear's response. Sometimes the truth can be hard to hear, but taking it from a logical perspective, what has been said is quite true. (Remember I like to look at things logically :P haha) This also goes the same for the medication. Do speak to a doctor if you can and as @MisoBear said, this is probably the time you most need to be on them.   So, if you really think about it, would you be better off without your psych? I understand the last session might not have been great, but before that, all I've heard from you was that she really understood you and it was finally someone you could talk to. I'm just pointing this out as a reminder as we often become tunnel visioned when we are feeling down. And that's how life regrets or mistakes are made, which ultimately make things worse. This very odd analogy just came to me, but i'm running with it... A psych is similar to owning a puppy (well i'm saying it is haha). You love it (talk to them) and you play all the time (visit weekly), but it also poops inside (offends us or says something we don't agree with) and chews your furniture at around 6 months when it's teething badly (says they want to meet less frequently). Do you send it back? No. You work it through and you make it clear to the puppy where it toilets and what it can and can't chew. Then you both find a happy medium. This is what needs to be done with your psych. Decide your boundaries around your trauma, work out the frequency of your visits and really make sure you're being honest from the start. The puppy won't know to stop chewing things unless you tell them not to which is the same as telling your psych you want to see her more often.   Sorry if that made no sense. I just think you have to take some time and focus on yourself and really think about what YOU want before making any decisions. You can do this and we're all here with you for each step of the way.     ... View more

Hi @MB95, I just wanted to let you know that I, along with the rest of RO are here to help support and encourage you. I'm sorry to hear that seeing your psych again wasn't that great, but i'm sure once you get into things again, it will be easier. You've had a stressful number of weeks so getting up and going is an amazing achievement! I would recommend calling a helpline. Like @Andrea-RO said, some of them differ a little bit, but if you think you need some safety help or coping tips for right now, then Lifeline is probably your best bet. I've used them many times and can certainly help in the short-term, if only to let you rant. @Eden1717 also mentioned the web chats which I find useful if I don't want people in the house hearing me call etc. However they have very long waiting times (usually) and you obviously don't get to talk about very much like you do over the phone. Let us know how the call goes and if it's really not great and you start to spiral, you are more than welcome to call back again and ask for a different person or try a different helpline. Their priority is your safety. ... View more

Hello @MB95!   I seemed to not have received RO notifications for this thread otherwise I would have returned earlier, so sorry about that! Nevertheless, I am ecstatic to hear that you managed to give your parents the letters. Regardless of the outcome, you got over that first, massive and extremely difficult step! That's what you need to focus on.   I have been catching up on the posts and honestly, everything you described is like a mirror of my family. My Mum would almost get annoyed at me and hated the fact i'll talk to a psych and not her. But I can assure you it will get better. If you give it your best by letting her know what you want and don't want from her, then that's all you can do. Relationships and communication are two-way things and you can't take responsibility for the way your parents feel.  I used to be extremely upset having told my parents anything and wished that I never did. However, when it was explained to me that it's not my responsibility to make my parents respond in a certain way, it helped to ease a lot of pressure and guilt. Of course I never purposely made them feel upset, but some news is taken better or worse than others and it's for them to work out.   If you can try and just focus on yourself a little more and let them worry about themselves, you'll find the stress and regret having told them will soon disappear. And in the long term, hopefully you will be able to see all of the positives that will come from that one step you made by giving them the letter.   What @Andrea-RO and @Janine-RO said was especially true regarding this whole process and with your psych. I understand you not wanting or thinking you need other supports, but on that one off occasion, you just may want to call them and having them already know how to help you, can literally save your life. I have a few supports in place myself. Some of which I was forced to make. Some I have never thought twice about contacting, but others, who may not have seemed likely at the time of forming the support, have actually been the most helpful. It's also a part of the psychs job which she is bound by if safety is a concern, but I can guarantee there are more positives than negatives when forming supports of any kind or level anyway.   I hope you have been alright the past couple of days and please feel free to ask any questions or get some tips on coping with this sort of thing. Many of us here have experienced very similar things and all of us have gotten/are getting though it and we are now even in this privileged position to help others as we keep fighting to the top.   Take care! ... View more

I can join for the first 20 mins or so but have sporting commitments later. But I look forward to reading your responses! ... View more

You have definitely given it a lot of thought and I’m just like “WOW!” Because you have already come so far and you’ve tried to work this out.  despite what happens, your psych will be proud of you for getting this far just as we all are here.  The tv and meditation sounds good. Hopefully you sleep a little better tonight.  Let us know how you go or if you’re unsure and whatever happens, know you have done so well already!! 👍🏼😊   Goodnight!  ... View more

Hey @MB95, It's definitely not a problem if you can't do it tonight. As @hellofriend mentioned, there's no time limit. I guess you could call or text them if they have questions after you leave which could be something you prefer? or now, try and focus on clearing your headspace and just relaxing. Try some mindfulness or distractions to help get through tonight and to hopefully get some good sleep. I hope you had a happy New Year and whatever you choose to do, is neither right or wrong. You've got to be comfortable - you've got it! <3 ... View more

Hey @MB95, I think that's great that you've even managed to write the letter and are considering giving it to your parents. You should be very proud of yourself - a great start to the year! :P I'll just say it, but there is never a perfect time for this sort of thing and you could always come up with excuses not to. By the sounds of it, it's not that you don't WANT to tell them it's that you're SCARED to telling them and that's perfectly normal. If you didn't want to, you wouldn't have written the letter or reached out here, so go you!! 😃 I understand you must be so exhausted! I think you mentioned you had a dog earlier so perhaps you could give them the letters and then take the dog outside and just throw a toy so you don't have to walk. I think out of the 3 days you have described, tonight sounds like a plan, but you need not make yourself upset over it. I know you mentioned you aren't sleeping or eating properly and maybe once you've given it to them, you'll have a sense of relief that will make things better than you thought. I know you've got it in you and i'm sure this is a good decision for you and your family's long term benefit. The first step is always the hardest. Just take some deep breaths and if you can, just give it to them and get out of there if you need to. I'm really rooting for you and send you all my strength. <3 You can do it!! ... View more

Hi @MB95,   I had a nice Christmas and hope you did too, despite being understandably, very exhausted. 😃    I think giving them your psychs letter along with your own is a good idea. And I think if you just slipped it to them and then went out, that would be fine and you don't have to see their immediate reactions and, like you said, they can talk with each other. You can always write on the front of the note that "i'm going out, will be back soon and for just Mum and Dad to read it." Or something like that. Then they know you're alright having left and you will return.   And whilst your psych and everyone here would definitely be proud if you managed to tell your parents, don't feel overwhelmed by any pressure. I know that's easier said than done, but it is up to you what you decide.   I hope you have a great New Year and perhaps letting them know could be a New Years resolution you want to achieve before you have to leave? 😃    Take care ... View more

Hi @MB95, When I did tell my Mum about the depression and my feelings, she was honestly so relieved. Because then she knew exactly what it was. She could research it (that made her feel helpful and better) and she wasn’t left thinking the worst. My Mum didn’t really ask questions and I just sort of brought things up to her. So little bits at a time. If she did ask too much I’d just say I didn’t know and I was tired or something. You could always say your working it out with your psych to stop the conversation too. I definitely get wanting to do it on your own, but you are anyway! You’re the one seeing the psych and taking the meds and that won’t change. They’ll just be some extra support when your psych is away or you’re feeling down and need to call someone. And really, mental illness or not, this is what family is for. If you can think of it that way, it may help to reach out when you need it. Regarding the letter, I just thought that I’m sure your psych explained how much you care for them and don’t want to make them involved etc. So to give it to them could actually help make boundary’s if/when you do tell them. So they know you’re not wanting a thousand questions when you tell them. You could write it at the end so you don’t have to speak at all. I remember writing a letter to my Mum when I was having fairly negative thoughts and basically wrote that please don’t ask me questions when you’ve finished reading because it was hard enough to give it to you. To just space questions out a bit and if I don’t want to answer, not to push me. That sort of thing so that it wasn’t too overwhelming at once. I was so proud after I gave it to her and it was a good decision. You mentioned writing a pros and cons list. How’d that go? I hope you have a great Christmas and New Year! Take care of yourself and we’re here if you need some help with telling your family 💜😊 ... View more

Hi MB95, Firstly, congratulations for giving your psych the letter! That is such an amazing achievement! and you should be proud and it’s a great way to end this years sessions. Thanks for the advice with my own psych. I think I’ll see how I go on the day. But I’ve already decided that no matter what, I won’t get upset if I do or don’t. And yeah, that was my thought about me really showing how helpful he was given that I don’t normally hug people. But I’ll just see 😊 Hope you had a good day and you should be super proud of yourself. Also, don’t feel pressured to respond. I had like a year where I just didn’t respond and didn’t even sign in. There’s no time pressure and so feel free to take your time So you don’t get overwhelmed 👍🏼 ... View more

Hey @MB95, I agree about hearing things from people that have or are currently experiencing issues being helpful. Although, you'll find like 80% of Psychs have experienced mental health issues and was likely an influencing factor in their career choice. Which is also good because they do understand, they just may not share it in that professional setting. So my last session is next week with my psych and I decided (with the help of my Mum) that a card and a nice, proper pen was something he might like. He's been so lovely and financially understanding that I decided he deserved even more than chocolates (plus he's a male and I don't know anything about him and so a pen is generic). :P I would actually love to give him a hug because he has been so kind and generous, but the whole vibe i've given him over the two years has been that I hate affection so he may just be like, "what the heck?!" and wouldn't expect it haha. And I don't want it to end awkwardly. I'll probably just do my mini bows and one hundred thank you's hahaha 😃 Regarding seeing male psych's, I think out of the roughly 12 or so people i've seen, I think i've had around 4 or 5 males, so a fair few really. I'll definitely say it's different but it's also different every time you see any new psych. I don't know if it has anything to do with the gender, but I found it easier to say things without worrying about their response when speaking with a male. Perhaps it's that ingrained (not necessarily true) social construct that women are more responsive or sensitive or something. Idk, it's just a minor thing I did notice in that there was less over-thinking with the male psychs but I can't tell you why. It could also just be that I simply didn't get so worried anymore as time went on. However, I didn't like to discuss romantic relationship issues with them. Even this one of two years, I either skimmed over things or had to really put on a brave face to tell him anything about it. I think that's because I feel embarrassed more than anything else and it's things I haven't even told my Mum! If the chance arises or you are referred to a male in future, I definitely wouldn't let their gender put you off. It's something to try and just see how you go. They certainly won't be offended if you're reason to discontinue is because you feel a little uncomfortable him being a male (it happens all the time and for both genders). It's an interesting topic really and I always thought i'd never speak to a male about it and yet here I am... ... View more

Hi @MB95, I'm just going to start off by saying that I hope your sleep is alright because I notice some of your posts are at like 1am in the morning! :P (Well that's the time it shows me here in Sydney). So don't forget sleep is important! But, thank you for checking in with me too, and it's true that i'm doing much better. <3 I definitely get the opening up to your family. What @Jess1-RO is spot on and to add to it, I think that it could even be a matter of them actually knowing (or having a pretty good idea) but not putting pressure on you to come forward. They could approach you directly, but they may realise this could be upsetting or confronting especially if you are used to being the one that helps everyone. So I think they sound like they are being pretty respectful, and those messages your Mum have sent are so cute! I'll provide one perspective you could choose to look at the whole situation with your family (of course take it or leave it, but it helped me to get in touch with mine). I might do dot points to save the whole essays I like to write :P - You mentioned you aren't super close but perhaps this is something that could bring you together and be something that helps overcome some of the past family traumas you mentioned. - You said there wasn't anything much they can do. If you can, try and recognise how helpful some of even the smallest things are - an ear to listen, a contact you (at least) have at 2am when you're down, a shoulder to cry on or even just someone to send a message to make you smile for a moment throughout the day. If you really think about it, I think you'll find those tiny things can actually be life savers and more helpful than originally thought. (well I think so anyway 😃) - Asking for help can be soooo hard. Maybe try tiny steps first (unrelated things) such as getting your Mum to proof read a Uni assignment or to help wrap a present - anything. Then edge up to the "can I talk to you", "what's your opinion on psychologists" or "Do you have any coping ideas?" etc. etc. - Them worrying about you. This took me forever to realise (and they'd tell me ALL the time), but they actually worry soooo much more not knowing for sure. If you think about it, without you being even just slightly honest or open, their minds are just left to wonder. For my Mum, that was always her - thinking the worst and worrying i'd never come home again or the police would knock on the door or something. Reassurance goes a long way. - Them not sharing their issues with you - Tell them outright you want to help and ask how they are. Also recognise that if they don't tell you as much that this could be a great opportunity to focus on yourself. You'll likely recover a little quicker and therefore be able to help them even more later! YOu've got to help yourself before you can help others properly. I think you should be so proud for opening up to your psych about it and yes, it can be so exhausting but you did it! And crying is honestly a great de-stressor as well so don't see that as a bad thing. Being more open about it and not shutting the idea down is an excellent start. I think the letter your psych wrote is actually a really thoughtful and good idea. That way you don't have to initiate it either. If you don't mind me asking, is the letter sealed or have you read it? It could be a good idea to set up a table of pros and cons for giving the letter to your family and you can get some help from us too as there could be things you hadn't thought of! - Being used to hiding everything is definitely something I can relate to, but having people notice is also a sign that things may be slipping a bit and that's okay. Perhaps you could even talk to someone at work if you get on with them? - And of course your dog counts! As @Jess1-RO said, they are honestly the best practice and I used to talk to mine every day and they just seem to know don't they!? <3 - When I opened up to my family I was actually so desperate. I was on that line of really needing someone to do something now or I don't care, that's it and ending it all. - It took me ages and a lot of practise with my dog but I just straight up said, can you find me someone to talk to. They also had a big inkling I wasn't doing well and honestly, she was so relieved to have it confirmed and her worries lessened because I was then going to get some help too. So even if you don't go into detail but just let them know you're getting help. - The pushing people away I still struggle with and it certainly isn't ridiculous! But I think it's something that will get easier over time. If you can just push through the beginning, things get easier for sure. 😃It's like starting an assignment - you put it off and off and thinking about it makes you anxious but once you just start and write that first paragraph, there's just massive relief and it's so much easier after that. - Feeling incapable is certainly not something to describe asking for help. And is shows you're even more capable if you can actually because it's not an easy thing. - I get you wanting to wait until after you've recovered more to tell them, but they may feel like they've let you down through those toughest periods. Like they could have done more or noticed more. Idk but that's what my family told me when I had the same concerns. It probably took me a solid year when I noticed things weren't great and then when things got very bad, it took about 6 weeks to build up the courage and to practice to basically just blurt out that I want to see someone. That was it. The 6 week build up for a 3 second sentence. And that was the extent of it. She knew I wasn't great at talking so just asked if I was okay, let me know she was there for me and helped set up the appointment. We took it slow and the psych helped to progress the relationship more. I'm studying Health Science and Mastering in Nursing at the moment and hope to get into some more healthcare policy down the track so keen to help people out! I'm so sorry, that definitely turned into another essay, but oh well haha 😃 Hope your day's been alright today. ... View more

Hey @MB95, I’m so glad that your last session went well! And yes, chocolates was a great idea! <3 And I get you about the hugging. It can be weird to know, but I guess if you’re not sure, it’s probably best not to or if you're comfortable enough, you can just say “can I hug you goodbye?” Then you’ll know for sure. When I left one of my psych’s for good, I did give them a hug (actually they gave me one), mind you, I’d seen her daily for a year so we were close I guess. I’m also not one for showing any affection so she was actually happy I did. I can’t exactly remember, but I don’t think I did for one of the male’s I was seeing because I just thought he’d think that was weird (and I’m not a very young girl or anything). I think I just thanked him a lot and did mini bows and he shook my hand hahaha 😂 Awkward but also not really because he was nice and I think I managed to show him my appreciation. I’ll be finishing up for good with this latest psych and I was actually wondering about getting him a gift with the card or if I shake his hand etc. So thanks for asking this, because now I can have a proper think! 🙏🏻 I might get him chocolates! 💜 But honestly, it’s just up to you what you feel like. But don’t beat yourself up over it. Like the gift ideas, it’s no big deal in the end 👍🏼 And yes, sorry, was not very clear on my experience side of things. Although it’s all from personal experience (ie I don’t strictly study it), I got so familiar with all the programs and therapy types etc. they used to get me to run the classes (esp. in group settings in hospital) 😂 I know that sounds really weird, and a bit sad now I think of it, but I had plenty of time to learn it all. 🤷🏼‍♀️😅 ... View more