Hi everyone,  So I have GAD, Hypochondria and Obsessive thoughts as well as a few compulsions and I'm on SSRI's for my various anxiety disorders and it's been brilliant and i'm only on 10mg a low does and I have been for months and it's been great but both my GP and my Psychiatrist said that they think I should increase it to 15 mg but that really worries me for a variety of reasons    1. I have put on 8 kg's because of the medication & I hate myself, I was already very unhappy about my weight and was trying to lose some but now I have to lose even more & I can't seem to lose any. Im scared increasing the medication will make me gain even more. I have considered not eating, which I know is a bad idea.   2. Im anxious about taking my medication in general so I hate any kind of change around it. Im afraid I will get side effects. Im especially TERRIFIED of developing Serotonin Syndrome which is deadly   3. I thought I was doing ok, I have been heaps better so I didn't think I'd need to increase it. I will admit I have still been anxious and on top of all of my other anxieties some new obsessive and intrusive thoughts have been occurring, for example I got house plants in my room and I'm afraid that they will cause me to suffocate or hurt me at night because they respire and release carbon dioxide and use oxygen. Im also afraid that putting hoodies under the door (I do this to make a barrier so spiders can't crawl under the door while I sleep, I'v been doing it for over a year) will cause me to suffocate in my sleep from a lack of oxygen. So I can see why they think we should increase it, however I have been doing much better than when I wasn't.    Also I have been feeling really bad about myself mainly due to my weight and hips & stomach. ,  I'm a psych student so I understand how quickly it can develop into mental health issues, but I hate my body and I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because nothing fits and I cry and have a breakdown everytime I go shopping for clothes becuase I feel increadibly fat and nothing i want fits or suits my body so I have given up. So I just cry in change rooms get in a bad mood and want to die so I just complain and go home and be miserable.   Sorry about that I just needed a rant I think.      ... View more

So I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, severe Hypochondria along with panic attacks and obsessions & compulsions and I have been trying to seek help.   I have been on meds for a few months & it's the best decision iv made, however i'm not cured the meds just dull the symptoms but I still cant function like a normal human being & I cant cope with this, i'm going to die at some point & my life is just wasting away while i'm constantly scared & anxious. I hate leaving the house, I cant play sport because i'm afraid ill get hurt or the team will get mad at me because I suck, i cant even watch tv or read anything related to health or danger without freaking out and being convinced i'm dying & i'm constantly worried spiders are going to kill me in my sleep or that i'm just going to drop dead for no reason. I constantly feel like there is something wrong with me & none of my friends or family understand that I cant just stop being anxious or do things like a normal person.   I have been on the waiting list for therapy for about 5 months and I called up today as I have my first appointment tomorrow and it turns out they didn't even book me in they forgot so now i have to wait at least another month & Im struggling. Im beginning to lose all hope, what even is the point of trying the therapy probably wont help, i can only have 10 sessions in a year as I just turned 18 and cant pay for my own meds let alone therapy & my family struggle financially so I cant ask them to pay for me because i'm unable to function normally. We are also going to be even worse financially soon as my mum has decided to divorce my step dad who is and has been emotionally abusive to me for years. I feel guilty about this because i'm the one he hates not my mum so she shouldn't have to suffer because of me. Im so worried about everything mainly my health, death & money and it makes everything so hard, I don't even know why I have mental health issues and it sucks. I also just finished school so I don't have studying to distract me or give me a sense of achievement anymore and I have no hobbies because they are expensive. I cant even get a job even though I try so hard and had almost perfect grades, nothing seems to be going right for me at the moment. Im kind of pathetic I cant even drive because im terrified of cars and driving im 18 I should be a responsable and able person but im not.   Sorry I sound like im whining I know there are heaps of people worse of than me I don't even really know what the point of this post is i'm just really frustrated and stressed  ... View more

Hi everyone  To be honest i'm not sure what the point of this post is, maybe to vent?    I suffer from severe GAD, Hypochondria & possible OCD and have done so for about a year, it was slowly getting worse and I was convinced I was dying all the time, every second of everyday I was anxious and was worried that I was dying of some unknown health condition, this health condition ranged from cancer, strokes, heart attacks, blood clots in my neck name a medical condition I thought I had it. I also cant drive I have my L's because i'm to scared to drive in case I hurt myself or someone else, i also am real anxious if i'm in the car and someone else is driving (especially my grandpa who i'm worried will have a heart attack or stroke behind the wheel) I also have a ritual I perform nightly surrounding checking my room for spiders and I put hoodies under the door so spiders cant get in while I sleep, i also compulsively check my body for signs of illness (I still do both these things but its not as bad as before). So I finally went to the GP who put me on meds, I was on them for a week and they made it worse so I stopped and got put on the waiting list for a psychologist but I was told it would be 3 months before I got an appointment ( i have been told this will be even longer wait now), so a few weeks later i went back to the GP to get different meds because I couldn't cope. I found that they started working in about a week and a bit and Im only on 10mg (a low dose) and I have noticed that my general anxiety had almost gone away (i still have bad days & panic attacks) and that even when I did get anxious it was much easier to control ( I couldn't control the anxiety at all before) While I still cant deal with people being sick and I go a bit over the top with sanitising stuff and making people wear gloves etc. It's much better and I feel guilty about this, I somehow feel as if that i'm not anxious and that i'm over reacting or just made it up and that it's all just in my head, I feel guilty for taking the medication because I feel like i'm just being stupid and thats theres nothing wrong with me, even though I was so scared all the time, i couldn't control my anxiety and I was having panic attacks every night begging my mum to take me to the ER at 1 in the morning. I know its stupid to feel this but for some reason I do, i just feel like because the meds worked quick, were very effective and were low dose that i'm overreacting and that i'm not anxious to be on meds.  ... View more

HI Everyone   I have developed severe Generalised anxiety and Health/illness anxiety. I am constantly anxious all day everyday and I constantly feel as if Im dying of a health issue, this issues switches between blood clots in my neck (most common) Heart attacks, Pulmonary Embolisms, various cancers, strokes, brain   aneurysms, rare bacteria and viral infections and illnesses, internal bleeding, meningitis, phenomena etc. I have chest pain/discomfort and a tightness and throbbing in my neck, weird feeling almost like its a nerve thing in my head practically everyday and its really worrying. I am constantly anxious all the time and worried about the fact that im dying or could be dying in the future even if I have no physical symptoms and its getting worse. I am having what I think are panic attacks regularly ranging from the start of a panic attack (mild) to me going into my Mum & step dads room at ridiculous hours crying, panicking presenting with a variety of concerning physical symptoms that are indicative of heart attacks, strokes, meningitis etc. and begging them to help me, to call a doctor or take me to the ER. Its stupid because logically I know that nothing is probably wrong with me and that its probably anxiety or something like a muscle ache but its the fact that there is always a chance (however small it may be) that i'm right and that something might actually be seriously wrong and requires medical attention is really distressing but my parents wont take me seriously. I will often go to the doctor with my symptoms and they will dismiss me in a subtle way and say its fine or nothing etc and they wont take me seriously because i'm 17 and anxious, I just want the doctors to take me seriously and to do some tests to check my health and then if the results are clear I can (hopefully) put my mind at ease so that way I know its almost certain my symptoms are anxiety or stress induced. Im also scared to go to sleep in case I die in my sleep as there are a few medical conditions that can cause you to just die in your sleep without warning and this is really terrifying because I don't have any control over it. I have been to the GP and given a mental health care plan and have been refereed to headspace which is good but I have just been told that I wont get my first session for 2-3 months and I don't think I can cope that long with the anxiety and I also have to worry about yr 12 and im doing academic subjects. I feel like im losing it and im not coping.  ... View more

Hi guys So Im in yr 12 I have achieved nothing in my whole life so I decided to get more involved in extra curricular's this year (mainly volunteering) and I volunteered for this program called CARA camp so I go with a bunch of other people to the the bottom of Mount Remarkable for 4 days and help out and engage and interact and look after kids with disabilities (mental and physical) who wouldn't be able to go on a 'normal' camp and do activities, however Im very anxious about it and I keep worrying about not being able to sleep, there being spiders (I have panic attacks and have OCDish tendencies and obsessions about spiders, Im not allowed to take bug spray to camp and I sleep with a can of bug spray so i don't know what ill do) Im worried something will happen to one of the kids and its my fault, Im extremely health anxious (i'm never not health anxious) and im worried ill get sick or something will go wrong and ill die or the ambulance wont make it in time (it will take at least 20 min) or something similar, im also worried about the bus trip because its long and i get travel sick and i'm really scared and don't want to go but I fell bad for backing out. Also the next bit may be TMI - i have issues with my bowels and digestive system so I elevate my legs on a stool when I do a bowel movement but I cant take a stool with me so Im worried about that. I also have so much homework and so many assignments to do that i'll probably die and Im worried I wont get them done if I go on camp. I wanted to go it seemed like a good idea but now i'm really unsure, if I go im worried and stressed the whole time, but if I dont i feel like im disappointing everyone and that i'll regret not going. I have 2 days to decide, what do I do? ... View more

Im in year 12 now and Im a mess my overall grades so far have been pretty good A-,A-, A, B+, A  but im starting to lose it my life is a wreck   I have way to much to do Im doing 4 hours study/homework every night + In class work and have 2 tests and 2 assignments all due on the same day I have 2 things due everyday for the next week im so stressed I cant cope I just want it to stop I kind of want to die but im scared of dying. I also have many chronic health conditions and have to decide if I want surgery but the risks arnt good and I have anxiety (about everything) and OCD specifically around dying and my health so I cant decide but im scared if I dont have the surgery it will hurt me. I only need an ATAR of 69 I can do that will all B- but i want above 90 why the do i care so much im losing my mind. I lost it tonight and have spent the last 3 hours sobbing because Im struggling with my english assignment. Im so stressed all the time that iv also scared that thats going to damage my health. If I cant cope with yr 12 how am I going to cope with 8-12 years of uni I dont even know what the point of living is anymore. Also have a stressful home life as my family fight all the time and my step dad hates me and is very mean. Im also stressed about money because i dont have a job and all my family goes on about is how we dont' have enough money.    None of this probably makes any sense   Sorry about the whining I know people have it much worse I just feel overwhelmed  ... View more

Hi, I have always been a fairly anxious person but i never considered it that bad or a problem but people in my life say i'm extremely anxious. I cant actually tell when i'm anxious anymore its so normal but lately it has escalated and my family and my school councillor and my teachers are concerned. I don't know where to start so i'll list all my problems 1. I have an intense fear of dying most of my anxiety is related to health and dying iv always been a hypochondriac but its getting ridiculous ie. chest pain = Heart attack, Wont go in water since I found out about a rare bacteria that lives in water and eats your brain and only 4 people in the world have survived, cant drive because im to scared to get in the car in case I crash and die, plane going over the house at night = Bomb or danger, scared of the beach because I dont know whats in the water, If death is mentioned I automatically start thinking about how I will die and I cant stop it happening eventually and will start feel teary and panicky I have to get rid of the thought etc. I could go on forever. 2. I have a problem with spiders, I have a process I do every night regardless of consequences or circumstances that I do to ease anxiety and stop spiders getting into my room. I check the whole room with a torch, floor behind bed under bed behind photos i even check the celling, the window frame and behind the blind. I remove the mattress to check the bed frame for spiders then I shake out all my bedding and put it on the bed then I spray all entrances and exits to room with bug spray then i build a barrier under my door with multiple hoddies folded to make my door almost air tight so the spiders cant get in, every time I leave the room at night I will repeat this process, sometimes I do it just to check before I actually sleep. Some people think this is a bit ritualistic and becoming OCDish but I don't do it in a particular order and I only do it at mums house (at dadsI room check but dont put up the barrier. I sleep with a can of bug spray and a shoe to kill spiders 3. Not sure if its anxiety. I am academically inclined but I ask all my teacher for reassurance and will check and re check all aspects of the assignment with the teacher so I know iv done it correct and if i'm over the word count I cant cut it in case I cut something good and make it worse. I cant do the assignments by myself for fear of sucking or ruining my grade or getting it wrong Am I too anxious whats going on? Help? ... View more

Hi everyone, Im currently 5 weeks into yr 12 and I honestly am sick of everything (not just school but life in general). I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression early 2016 I also have really bad self esteem and I got put on a mental health care plan but Iv havn't achieved anything with my psychologist I feel like every time i go im wasting my time, i feel uncomfortable, i dont connect with her, i only see her for 10 sessions a year which is very little as its on the plan and im 17 and cant afford to pay for therapy and I don't see the point, I had a session today and she said that i'm "hard to read' and that I always seem so put together, she thinks i'm doing ok and that i wont need to see her much longer just a catch up hear and there but i'm honestly getting worse I have been so down and sad most of the time since school started I have cried at least 4 times in every class because I feel stupid and worthless and if I don't get 100% i'm not happy I got a B+ on my first biology test and I was so disgusted with myself and like I suck and everyone is better and Im a burden, the anxiety is doing my head in and Iv started self harming again for the first time in 3 years and I have no clue why I just want to do it (iv only been doing this for 2 weeks) but I told her I was fine and Im honestly so glad I don't have to go to therapy anymore I have always wanted to be a psychologist but now i'm starting to think therapy is a bunch bollocks and a waste so im really conflicted. I also don't know what the heck to do I wont tell my parents any of this I HATE them being involved in my life especially emotionally and I also am really depressed about how even if i need help 10 sessions a year wont do much and I need more to connect with someone and I cant afford the sessions and neither can my family it just isn't possible and the fact that my family is struggling with money and I don't have any stresses me out. I also have a lot of relationship issues with my step dad and dad so that causes lots of fighting. even my body issues are getting worse I honestly am disgusted by my reflection I cant look in the mirror in the school bathrooms because I look so fat and gross and weird looking. Even my teachers are sick of me because im so negative all the time I also cant do any of the assignments by myself because i need reassurance i'm right, I feel pathetic I have no clue what the point of anything is anymore. ... View more

Hi everyone    I have been seeing a psychologist since early 2016 but I dont think im getting anything out of it.   At the begining of last year I started seeing the councillor at my school for symptoms of depression and chronic stress at first I was slightly uncomfortbale but I got over that in the first 1-2 sessions and now I enjoy going sure I still get uncomfortbale when discussing my issues especially when talking about my self esteem and low self worth but I still enjoy going and I get on well with her. Anyway after my first few sessions she suggested that i go see my GP to get a mental health care plan which I did after she diagnosed me with depression and then my mum found a psychologist close to our home and I started seeing my first psychologist, she was ok she was nice but once again I felt uncomfortbale but i got more used to her but she didnt think I was depressed probably because I am quite reserved and reluctant to talk about my negative emotions in a serious way. With her I was working on understnading my emotions beacuse all things im feeling tend to be expressed as anger and when around other people if Im sad it just becomes anger and I lash out but if im alone it just turns into very negative view of my self and life and I just cry and feel like everyone would be better off without me etc.   While seeing the psychologist (I saw her once every 1-1 1/2 months) I continued seeing the councillor at school (i much prefer her to the psychologist I just get on better  with her and we just seem to connect better) and I told her an issue that had been on my mind a lot and was causing a great deal of stress and worry and that was I thought I might of been transgender. After a few (3-4) sessions with my psychologist I switched to a new psychologist who specialised in Gender Identity Disorder, she luckly worked in the same practice as my original one did after about 3 sessions she diagnosed me with Gender Identity Disorder. We also talk about my self esteem and negative attitiude on everything I just dont think I connect with her I kind of feel awkward seeing her and during sessions i feel kind of "off" and uncomfortable and I once again dont think the therapy is helping me I still feel just as bad as I did before actually I think Im getting worse Iv now developed anxiety and Im having anxiety attacks about everything Im scared to get in a car im scared of being on the train I cant sleep beacuse im scared something bad will happen when I sleep im specifically terrified of spiders and i feel like they are all over me and are out to get me and that they are going to bite me while im asleep and ill die and the transgender thing is really having a negative effect on my lefe im just so worried and stressed about it and it just makes everthing much harder. I like talking to my school councillor, I even prefer talking to my GP but shes going on maternity leave in a month, I really dont like seeing my psychologist I dont know why It just feels "off" but It will be real hard to switch psychologists beacuse the one I currently see is the only one who specialises in Gender issues that isnt in the city and real expensive shes the only one in my area and I really dont want to be more of a burdern on my family than I already am by making them drive me to the city. I feel like I have too many issues to deal with and I dont know where to start and I have to go see my psychologist on the 23rd of Jan and I really dont want to I just feel uncomfortable and strange.   Sorry its so long I just need to vent, any advice, suggestions or opinions are welcome      ... View more

Hi everyone I jus really really need help or to vent I'm terrified. I never saw myself as an anxious person but the more I think about it I am I just generally anxious and am extremely negative I'm mainly anxious about my safety and health (every headache is a brain tumour and I havnt got my Ls get because I'm scared to drive) but the thing causing me the most anxiety and paranoia is spiders. I have always been scared of spiders but In the last few months it has become so bad it's interfering with daily life especially my sleep. I am so terrified I can't sleep I can't go to sleep before 3am because Iv gotten the idea into my head that 3am is when most the spiders come out so I have to stay up until then and everytime I find a spider I will add an extra hour on to when I go to sleep I'm a yr 12 student I can't afford to do this. I get the feeling like the spiders are watching me or seeking me out and are trying to get me I feel like they are crawling in my hair and on my body. If I find one or I get into these anxiety attacks where I'm freaking out and crying uncontrollably and I just can't think and I'm just so terrified I havnt sleep properly in about 3-5 months. My parents are unsympathetic they think I'm making up the spiders being in my room so often they tell me to get over it stop being a princess and they get very annoyed especially my step dad. I hate physical contact and I don't like emotional stuff with family but I am getting so terrified that I'm crying and wanting to hug my mum I'm so scared. While I'm scared of spiders if I see one in the lounge or outside I am cautious and I'll kill it but if it's in my room it becomes a real issue I'm specifically scared of them getting me when I'm sleeping if I'm asleep and get bitten I can't do anything if I don't wake up I can't get help and I'm vulnerable if I'm awake I can do something about it but if I'm asleep and unaware I'm in trouble. I also sleep with earphones in because I'm afraid they will climb into my ears and mouth and get in my eyes. It's also causing me to carry out compulsive actions I will every night regardless of the time or if I'm sick if I'm throwing up I will still do it I have to. I will take everything off my bed then shake out the pillows and quilt and sheet then I will put them back on my bed but making sure they don't touch the floor or the walls I will then shake out the curtains and check all windows and doors and shine a flash light down all sides of my bed all corners of the room and down every bit of furniture and under the bed and bookcases then I shake my sheets out again then get into bed but I'm still paranoid constantly. I will often check multiple times a night and I sleep with a can of spider spray and a thong to hit them with next to my bed and in reach For some reason my room seems prone to spiders I find them everyday they drop from the roof onto me when I'm sleeping and when on my computer and nothing I have tried stops them so I'm out of options I need to deal with this I can't take it anymore I'm so done with being terrified e every night I'm scared to sleep i dread it I spend time during the day worrying about sleeping and I don't like being in my room anymore I can't cope it's becoming to much I need it to stop and I don't know what to do. I see a psychologist but I don't really like her and I only see her once every month or two my next appointment isn't for 3 weeks and I don't think I can keep this up. Sorry I sound like a baby but I'm terrified and need help ... View more