I don't know what's causing it exactly, but I've been feeling incredibly irritated,  angry and moody lately. As well as tired. I just can't seem to get myself into a healthy sleeping and eating routine. And my motivation to leave the house has been low as well as getting out of bed sometimes. And the house is a mess. And I've had this weird craving for physical company which is not like me usually.  My hormones are going crazy. I kind of feel embarrassed just typing this. I'm in a low. I know I am. Hmm.  ... View more

Thanks @scared01 and @Lola-RO. I have heard of S.A.D before and sometimes I do wonder if that's a possibility. Although, I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder so it's more than likely just that and irrational thoughts going through my mind.  I think I'm probably not taking into account the fact that certain things have happened during those particular months of the year to cause stress so that sorta makes sense. At the same time I tend to think that my ability to handle challenging situations isn't as good around April/may/June.    It's good to still keep in contact. I guess sometimes it's also good just to have a rant.  ... View more

@mrmusic - hey. so tonight I cleaned my room and listened to music because it was what I had been wanting to do. and danced and sang around the house. haha. this tends to calm me down. And i've been doing some deep breathing.    Yeah - i'll give him the space and time. thanks.  ... View more

@sweet_baking honestly i don't feel like it is helping much either. I had a really bad day at work today. I'm feeling a lot of pressure in my job position. I cried a lot. And i don't feel like talking much. And my motivation is pretty slim right now. :/  ... View more

Hey @sweet_baking and @Esperanza67. Sorry for not replying sooner. I have been listening to these calming piano sound tracks and meditation before sleep and waking up that has been a little bit helpful.   Although - my sibling thinks I should be seeing someone for my anxiety issues and/or speak to a doctor about getting medication to help me handle it. There is no way i want to go on medication though.    Hmm. There are some things on my mind that i have been journalling about but in all honesty I have been struggling with myself and i don't really know why. It's like I'm trying to be strong and put on a brave and confident face but inside I'm crying and actually scared. I feel so pathetic.  ... View more

Thanks for getting back to me @sweet_baking. I definitely feel like my lack of confidence is the driving force behind my anxiety and that it is my anxiety that causes this lack of confidence too. It is so frustrating.    I know that I have been feeling very negative about things lately and having negative thoughts. I'm trying to break the habit of these negative thoughts and to challenge them. It can just be difficult. I want to succeed and enjoy my life so I know I still have to keep at it. I did speak to a sibling about why I have been feeling so angry and they understand my anxiety but we haven't really talked much about how to help it.    The stuff that is causing me anxiety is work (as per usual), i'm trying not to let little things get me down and just remain positive. And the other thing is my eating pattern and sleep routine is wacko at the moment. It is a slow working progress. Things I tend to avoid at the moment is basic tasks like getting up when my alarm goes off. I think my body isn't tired enough because i've been struggling to sleep. I want to exercise and tire myself out, yet at the same time I can barely get myself to do anything. I know i need to start thinking positive again.  ... View more

Hi @T4ils. I don't really talk to professionals anymore. I feel like it doesn't help. It makes me feel like I'm a little kid and like I can't take care of myself. At least - i haven't talked to a professional for a couple months now. Not face-to-face at least.    There is so much going on in my head at the moment. I'm having trouble controlling my anxiety attacks. I hate it. And the worst part is that it comes and goes in phases. I don't even realise when I'm becoming like this. But yeah - i guess i am suffering a bit with low motivation. I'm trying to get myself out of it. I've given myself a fitness plan to work towards and just doing little things here and there.    As it's still holiday period I'm only working half days and so most mornings i have nothing set to do until work. It's hard getting myself up in the morning when i don't have to be anywhere. I feel like I'm forcing myself to do things and also deal with things that I really don't want to.    And I'm angry and annoyed all the time too - but mainly just around my family. I keep having these outbursts at them and it makes me feel even worse. I wish this didn't happen. :(  ... View more

I'm not really sure @RevzZ. It's more I feel an anxiety towards everything that I do and I think it's because of this fear about the sense of failure and not being good enough because of being a perfectionist.    I wrote in my journal last night about how I'm not really happy with what I've been doing with myself. Honestly I hate being a teacher because I get so anxious about everything. People give me great positive feedback yet I still feel like I'm never doing my job well enough. And then I think about other things I'd like to do like singing and dancing and story writing and acting and how I'd never be good at those things either because of my anxiety. I just have no confidence in myself whatsoever.  Sorry for being so negative. I feel like i just have to get these thoughts out. I don't know what to think or feel or do. Everything needs money or experience. I feel stuck. Yet at the same time I'm working towards things.  ... View more

@RevzZ@sweet_baking    I moved houses just before Christmas and then had almost two weeks off work. Normally I have a pretty flat out schedule that keeps me pretty busy and so I always have stuff to do. I know that my motivation to do anything except go to work is pretty low even though I have written down things I'd like to do. It's almost like I'm not doing anything unless I have to..rather than in my free time doing the things i really want to do. I feel like something is wrong with me because of that. I feel like I'm probably just being lazy. A really lazy person. I want to make a commitment to do things. I know in some respect I'm already doing alot. Am I being too hard on myself? Am I not being hard enough? I don't know. My anxiety gives me a warped perception of my achievements and life in general.    For ages I have been saying I want to write a story book and read this book series and play these video games and prepare notes for my teaching placement. Yet - I've barely done any of it. I'm so annoyed at myself. I'm going to start doing some of it again. It's just I have no one to keep me accountable. I have nothing to lose by not doing it. Shouldn't my passion and desire for it outweigh what seems like pure laziness? Yes.    I feel like my anxiety prevents me from doing things I like to do even when there is no pressure to do them. :/  ... View more

Hi @RevzZ & @sweet_baking.   In terms of self-care I've just been allowing myself down time and relaxing by reading, seeing friends, watching movies and playing video games. I recently moved house so I've been settling in here. It's just knowing that everything is starting back and knowing things are changing. It's scary. I keep doubting my ability to be able to cope with it all even when some of it hasn't even happened yet. It's a confidence thing. Hmm.    It's not that bad the anxiety level but it is affecting my sleep a little bit and a little bit with eating too. My get up and go attitude is kinda lacking. I'm not even really sure what i want to do with myself.  ... View more

@scared01 It's been a rough week. I've been really sick for a few days and not working because of it. There are some big things happening next month including moving house and i'm trying to finish this training for a certificate qualification I need as well as trying to get stable work over Christmas. I'm okay - there's a just a bit of uncertainty in my life at the moment which is causing anxiety and there are some moral obligations/dilemmas i'm trying to get over.  ... View more

@letitgo - Sorry I have been so busy recently that I have barely been on my computer or phone for this. Yeah - i'm thinking of playing video games and just talking over phone every now and then and see how that goes.  ... View more

@TOM-RO - she's nearly 29. Hmm. I don't know what kind of support she is getting. I don't really know what my parents are doing. We get along mostly., when my mother doesn't interfere. I'm trying to think of stuff we could do together i just don't know what.  ... View more

My personal life is going so positive at the moment but I can't say the same for my immediate family. As some of you know, I moved out of home because it is a toxic environment. I have been living away from my family for over 2 years now and it has been the greatest, but also hardest journey I have been through. I felt so guilty, but I've had to distance myself from feelings of guilt and the problems my family are facing. But stuff is getting to me, emotionally. It is not my job to 'fix' their problems, but I also feel like at the same time I should be around to support them. But I don't know what to do because whenever I get involved it becomes too much. I either get too overwhelmed, interfere and get rejected, get anxious and upset and it's like my strategies don't make a difference.   But things are going too far. It's like I have pretended like this stuff isn't happening so I don't have to deal with it. Part of me doesn't feel like it is my problem to deal with it so I have been keeping my distance. But it hurts.    My dad has depression, doesn't work, lost his business and has been emotionally abusive.  My mother is probably depressed too, but she seems so narcissistic, she favours my sister and barely talks to me. She hardly contacts me at all. She works full time and is supporting both my dad and my sister.   And my sister has a disability and has a gambling problem. My family already has money troubles. I was at their house the other night and caught my sister trying to gamble online so now her computer is confiscated. But she had a complete meltdown in front of me saying how she wanted to die and kill herself and how she is a mess and how she never gets to see me or my other sibling. And she thinks we don't care about her and never want to see her. :O She is majorly depressed and anxious and lonely.   I just don't know what to do. I can't be around there for long times because of the tantrums and arguments and yelling at each other. I just can't. I'm sorry but I can't handle it. :/    I want to help, but not at the expense of my own mental health. Of course I care but it is just too much. :'(    @Bree-RO@Ben-RO ... View more

@scared01 - I like it. You can really see the Tiger so that's awesome! Well done.  ... View more

@N1ghtW1ng - Take it slow. One thing at a time. I'm sorry to hear about your wrist. That sounds awful. You sound like you need a little motivational boost.  ... View more

@May_@N1ghtW1ng   I just finished! I have no more assignments left for my uni course. :D Yay!    I really wish you luck for your exams @N1ghtW1ng. You can do it!!  ... View more

@scared01 - this is the kind of picture you see in those expensive colouring in books. I just want to colour it!  ... View more

Hey @N1ghtW1ng. Failing a unit can be pretty tough, right? I have a few friends doing teaching who have to repeat units next year who feel just like you. But doing bad on a unit does not mean that you will be a bad teacher. Same as acing a unit doesn't necessarily mean you'll be a good teacher. Grades are grades. They are not a proper reflection on your teaching ability. Neither is one or two bad placements.   It sounds clear to me that you are very caring and passionate about working towards this career path. I feel like I can relate to you about not feeling cut out because I have seriously struggled and get anxiety. I actually had a mentor teacher tell me I was in the wrong career. And I had a parent yell at me for not doing my job right. But if I listened to them I wouldn't be where I am today or have received all the positive feedback from those who know me.    Think of it like this - if you were a perfect teacher then you wouldn't need to do a teaching course. - you are learning and this is the time to practice and to fail. Most successful people today are only successful because they have experienced many failures. I believe in you!    So what if it takes a little extra time before you can get that qualification certificate! It sucks but you will get there. It is not a block in the road, meerly a detour. xx  ... View more

Hey @Crunchyness. I suppose one of the hardest things we can do as humans is practicing self-love and truly being proud of our achievements. Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. I just want to tell you that you are incredible. All of those skills are amazing! I find it hard to gain a sense of fulfillment over the things I have done. It helped me when I wrote a list of all my achievements, small and big - because then it helped me to see how much I actually am doing and have done and that's pretty amazing. Go you! Do you think you might like to try the same?   I also wrote a list of the things bugging me that I wanted to achieve and wrote steps of how I would get there so that I could see my progress. You can and do achieve. Well done.  ... View more

Hey @Cookiestarr. This is so incredibly normal. I felt exactly the same way when I finished school. I would lurk around the school after classes during those final weeks because I knew it would all be finishing. I was so scared of the change and school was my 'safe place.' It was being taken away.   So how did I manage? I went back and did volunteering at the school. It is a huge transition and 4 years later and I am still volunteering at my old high school and helping out with their programs.  I still see my old teachers and tell them about what I am doing now and it is still a safe place for me.    It is a big change but it also neans that there are so many new and exciting things on the way. This is the time to start thinking about those passions and all the things your teachers have helped you develop skills for. I also wrote my teachers a thank you appreciation letter.    And I am experiencing it all again right now as I am transitioning out of finishing university.  My advice is to try and embrace the change but still try to make an effort to stay in contact with those who are important to you. Although  - meeting new people after high school was the best thing I ever did. I have so many new and valuable friends. Friendships change all the time. It's hard but it is also a journey. You can do it! It's okay to be upset. Xx  ... View more

When I was a kid I wanted to be an author or a teacher or an actor. I'm still passionate about all of these things and have accomplished aspects of all three. I have been an extra on a tv show, I'm writing a novel and I'm about to graduate from my teaching degree. At one point I wanted to be a weatherman and I still have a love for weather and understanding natural disasters but I can't see myself actually going down that track. I want to run my own sports development program one day or my own adventure camp or teenage retreat. That would be great fun!  ... View more

Hey. When I was in high school I felt the FOMO very intensely. It would be simple things like the types of clothes I saw people wearing to a music concert that I was never allowed to go to. And even in Primary school I wasn't allowed to watch certain cartoon shows that everyone would talk about and I never had the latest crazy toys. I used to get really mad and depressed about it. Now I get a little upset depending on what it is but mostly I don't care anymore because of all my achievements and hardwork I've done to get to where I am today!   ... View more

I only have 800 words on an assignment standing between me and finishing my coursework of my degree! Yay! I will be working on this today. I hope everyone is doing great. :)  ... View more

@honky - Oh I totally agree! Hah. After this weekend they'll all be over!!! Yay. Now that is something to look forward to.  ... View more

@Karinaskii - My doctor thinks it was most likely gastro but she didn't know for sure. I'm feeling so much better. It was mainly wed, thurs, fri and saturday.  ... View more