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mspaceK
Builder
since
10-05-2017
17-10-2019
2307
Posts
1944
Kudos
0
Solutions
16-10-2019
10:02 PM
Thanks for the link @Andrea-RO . I think I'm going to focus on talking to my psychologist tomorrow about this and my kidshelpline counselor on Sunday. Hopefully I can become more confident in my work place role and earn a stable income without the intense anxiety accompanying it. I'm not sure what other job I would be better suited to. I can't really see myself doing anything else. I don't know what i could do. Tonight I am also having another night where i am really frustrated with my house mate because of the house mess issue. She just doesn't clean up after herself and leave the environment clean to an acceptable standard for me. I can't live with her anymore. I've made plans to move out but it won't be practical until early next year so I have to wait. Plus i can't move out until I get over this work anxiety issue and know that i can support myself without any money issues. It's all very stressful.
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15-10-2019
07:19 PM
I'm not sure I fully understand how it works @Bre-RO even after reading it. Is it just people I can talk to over the phone about working?
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15-10-2019
10:43 AM
@WheresMySquishy I wouldn't want to do the taxi ride share thing mainly because of money but it's a good idea. @drpenguin I have considered trying to get a part time teaching job and I've been freaking out about the whole application process, interviews and writing key selection criteria. I really need to get some people to help me write all that. I think ultimately being part time at a school would be better for me. It's the process of getting there that I am struggling with. As a substitute teacher even though I'm mostly teaching different students and sometimes new schools, I have been lucky enough to be placed at one school. But when they don't need a substitute that morning I get a phone call from my agency to work at a different school in a different role and that's when I start freaking out more and turning down shifts. So I know being at one school would help alot.
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14-10-2019
07:48 PM
1 Kudo
I'm not sure about an employee assistants program @Bre-RO but I do know that there are some training courses on professional development in this industry that I can try and attend. @drpenguin I don't have any employees to go to work with as my job requires me to go to different schools regularly and so I'm often working with new people unless I am placed at the same school. Even then I don't know anyone well enough to go together. @WheresMySquishy good to hear from you too. I'm trying to get my bag and things organised the night before but in terms of the actual work for the day, I never know what I am teaching until I arrive on the day because I'm a substitute. It's go go go once I arrive. I'm really trying to get a good nights sleep so I think over the next week that's going to be my main focus.
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14-10-2019
12:27 PM
1 Kudo
@drpenguin I feel like I'm not good enough for my job and also get super nervous about going. I feel like I do the wrong thing and get super stressed about little things. I feel like I don't do my job right and I have to do a good job. I get worried about things going wrong and it replays over in my mind and I keep thinking I should have done better. It's so bad i can't even get myself to go now, like I've failed before I even get there. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I feel so sick about working and knowing I have to go again. I even considered applying for a new job but the job application process and prospect of interviews only makes the anxiety worse. :(
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14-10-2019
07:47 AM
Hi everyone. Over the past 4 weeks I've only been to three, 4 hour work shifts. I haven't been able to get myself to go to work. I start to feel sick in the tummy and get a headache or feel really tired and get this overwhelming sense of dread. Sometimes it's so bad I can't concentrate on what I'm doing. I get really restless and can't breathe normally. It's getting me really down :( I'm not sleeping properly either even though I have started going to bed early. I keep waking up during the night about 3 times before morning and I always feel really tired and sometimes sick when I wake up. I'm worried because my bank account is slowly plummeting and soon I won't be able to pay rent or anything. I wish I could work normal :( why does this keep happening to me? I want to go to work and then the day before a rostered shift or the morning of I start to feel so anxious and sick and then I end up calling in sick :( I feel like a failure because I can't even work to afford looking after myself :(
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03-10-2019
11:44 PM
2 Kudos
@WheresMySquishy I'm feelimg a bit better today and part of yesterday too. I'm not in the hospital any more and I'm starting to get back into doing things. It's quite overwhelming and I'm getting tired a lot just getting through each thing. My boyfriend is helping me through it alot though. He is being a really good support. I actually had a productive day and got things done and ate food amd relaxed a bit which is nice. I'm having these mini moments here and there where I keep doubting myself so I'm just constantly trying to push through. Hopefully things will start to feel a bit better. Thanks for replying.
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01-10-2019
05:18 PM
Thank you @Bre-RO . It's been really hectic.
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01-10-2019
08:43 AM
1 Kudo
@Tiny_leaf I'm not really sure. Mostly I've been sleeping or colouring in my book and I tried watching tv too. They gave me some medication to help me calm down so that I could sleep last night.
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30-09-2019
10:45 PM
Thank you both @Tiny_leaf @Pasta . I'm feeling pretty lonely and lost. I have round the clock nurses checking in with me. It's full on. And I have to do a wellness plan and stuff.
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30-09-2019
08:57 PM
I haven't really been posting much recently because I felt like I couldn't keep my posts safe and within the community guidelines and I didn't want to distress others. But I have had a shitty week and I tried to do serious harm to myself and now I am an inpatient in a psych ward at the hospital. I feel like a disgrace and a failure. I broke the law and did things I shouldn't have. Thankfully I'm eating again and not feeling nauseas and sick but my anxiety has been coming and going. The doctors and nurses tell me that I'm in a safe place and did the right thing seeking help. Others had to make responsible decisions for me because I didn't care what happenned to me. I'm not really sure what is going to happen over the next couple days. I guess I'm just lucky that I'm still here. :( @Bre-RO @Jess1-RO @Maddy-RO @Tiny_leaf @WheresMySquishy @Pasta
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24-09-2019
04:42 PM
The show was good yesterday @Jess1-RO . My boyfriend came over and we played a video game all night together taking turns. It was nice. I'm not sure how I feel right now. I've felt a bit physically sick for most of the day and I have anxiety in my chest and today hasn't been fun with going to the hospital for tests and my other appointment today - but I'm going to dinner with some friends and seeing my boyfriend again tonight so hopefully that will help.
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24-09-2019
04:39 PM
@Pasta I'm so sorry i wasn't around for you last night. I really hope you are okay and got through the evening. Are you okay today?
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23-09-2019
06:22 PM
@Tiny_leaf I've been watching a show about witches.
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23-09-2019
05:48 PM
@Tiny_leaf nice. Did you buy anything? I've been watching shows in my room on netflix.
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23-09-2019
05:13 PM
Hi @Tiny_leaf . Anything. What did you do today?
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23-09-2019
04:53 PM
Is anyone around? I feel like I need to talk to someone. The past few days have been really hard :(
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23-09-2019
01:39 PM
@Bre-RO I'm trying to cook pasta. Then have a shower. Then go to shops to get groceries. Then home and try and do more distractions.
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23-09-2019
12:36 PM
Hmm just gonna get rid of this post
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23-09-2019
10:26 AM
URGHHHHH - I just want to scream at everything :( I CAN'T GET THESE DARK THOUGHTS OUT OF MY MIND. I HATE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING :(
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23-09-2019
09:54 AM
3 Kudos
That sounds terrifying @Bananatime04 . Are you okay?
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23-09-2019
09:44 AM
I'm not feeling good today. Physically or emotionally. :(
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23-09-2019
02:04 AM
1 Kudo
@Pasta I think it is very likely that we may have talked to the same guy because I spoke to a man too and he made me laugh. I didn't really talk about any issues, just sorta chatted as a distraction. I still gotta drive home now and go to bed. I think I can do that. Thanks for messaging me. I hope you can have a good rest of your night.
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23-09-2019
01:03 AM
I just keep crying :( and I feel so anxious in my chest. I had to get out of the house so I just got my car and drove to the park and balled my eyes out. I don't want to go home :'( . I'm trying a helpline but I'm on hold. I don't know if it will help. Everything feels so so wrong. I was afraid of self harming again so I left the house.
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22-09-2019
09:09 PM
1 Kudo
@WheresMySquishy @Bananatime04 Sorry for delayed reply. After I chatted with my khl counselor I had a shower, then a nap and then dinner with my housemate. I've just been on the couch watching her play a different video game. I think I'm going to head to my room though and play more of my own game cause I'm bored. I feel a little sick in the tummy as well so I'm hoping that passes.
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22-09-2019
02:46 PM
2 Kudos
I'm sorry your step mum pointed that out @Bananatime04 . I'm worried about people seeing mine :( I chose canned spaghetti. What are you going to do now that you're home?
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22-09-2019
02:23 PM
2 Kudos
How was your swim @Bananatime04 ? I've been playing skyrim. I feel anxious in my chest and hungry. I need to find something to eat. I'm hoping to talk to my khl counselor soon.
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22-09-2019
11:39 AM
2 Kudos
Thanks @Pasta . It's good just to nap for a bit.
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22-09-2019
10:55 AM
2 Kudos
Those sound like really great avenues to head towards @Pasta and some really good goals in mind. I suppose you'll never know until you try. I personally really like performing / dancing and acting but to make a career out of those is tricky so I have a job that I fall back on and do the others as a hobby. I think it is important to strive towards what you enjoy and love because it will keep you motivated. Sorry if I disappear for a bit - I'm just napping in bed.
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22-09-2019
10:51 AM
2 Kudos
I can go whenever I like @Bananatime04 and use the gym too. Perks of the job. Enjoy your day.
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My Recent High Fives Received
| Subject | High Fives | Posted |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 14-10-2019 07:48 PM | |
| 1 | 14-10-2019 12:27 PM | |
| 2 | 03-10-2019 11:44 PM | |
| 1 | 01-10-2019 08:43 AM | |
| 3 | 23-09-2019 09:54 AM |
My Recent High Fives Given
| Subject | High Fives | Author | Latest Post |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | |||
| 2 | |||
| 1 | |||
| 1 | |||
| 3 |
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| Date Registered | 10-05-2017 08:38 PM |
| Date Last Visited | 17-10-2019 12:17 PM |
| Total Messages Posted | 2,307 |
| Total High Fives Received | 1848 |
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12:17 PM
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