Re: INFOBUS: Gender is more than male or female

Seb · ‎18-10-2012

I would tell them to ask them. To be honest about it, that you do not want to offend them and would like to know how they would like to be called and stuff, what would make them comfortable. Honesty above all i think.

antigenlost1989 · ‎18-10-2012

I would tell them that the best way to be respectful is to listen, take on what the person has said and go and do some extra research.

It is quite common for trans / genderqueer people to have to repeat what they want people to know alot and any help you give them by taking that intiative to go and look up some info yourself will let them know you are there for them and are trying.

One last thing just try to use correct pronouns and the name they have chosen .

Trying is one of the best things you can do

!!!

Gay · ‎18-10-2012

@Twenty10 wrote:
If someone asked you for advice on how to be respectful of your trans or genderqueer friend – what advice would you give them?

Use their preferred name and pronoun. If you're unsure, just ask :-) (I need to do better at this lol)

Don't use or ask about the name they were given at birth

Don't 'out' the person as trans or genderqueer to other people - they are people first and it is not for you to disclose information about their identity. It also could be a safety risk.
Don't confuse gender with sexual orientation
Don't use words like "real" or "bio" or "born as". Use words like trans or cis or assigned/designated female at birth or assigned/designated male at birth.
Don't use words like trannies or chicks with dicks etc. People are people, they are not objects or body parts.
Don't assume trans people want surgeries or hormones or that they want to transition at all.
Don't tell trans people what is appropriate for them to do for their gender. We are all diverse and live and express our gender differently. Just because a person is trans doesn't mean they have to fit into a small box of what other people think a man or a woman should look/act/sound/dress like.
You are not a doctor - If it's not appropriate to ask a cis friend about their genitals then question why you want to ask a trans person about theirs.
Trans people aren't here to educate you! If you want to understand something, use Google!

antigenlost1989 · ‎18-10-2012

Go Gail cheering ...awesome response and your totally right!!!

Cassie_J · ‎18-10-2012

It's pretty easy, respect their gender identity, respect their pronouns, but also respect that they may only want to use those pronouns in certain spaces, as for example, they may only be out to certain friends, they may or may not be out to their friends, so you need to be aware of this too.

Also be respectful with the questions you choose to ask them, and don't make assumptions about the people they are attracted to, or they things they like to do or wear.

Dani FC · ‎18-10-2012

Re: INFOBUS: Gender is more than male or female

If someone asked you for advice on how to be respectful of your trans or genderqueer friend – what advice would you give them?

I'd say "Respect them as an individual!!"

and check out pages 13-15 of FC's NEW You're Not Alone booklet XD [oh yes they did!!!] to see what all of us at FC would tell someone about being supportive

http://freedom.org.au/images/stories/yourenotalone2012web2.pdf XD

Gay · ‎18-10-2012

I think just like Gail, Cassie and Sean have said, it's all about respect and treating people just the way you would any other friend. It's important to use correct name and pronouns (when appropriate and safe). In the end though, it's all about the person in front of you and getting to know them the same way you would anyone else. If you respect who they are and you listen to what they say and you educate yourself then you are being a good friend.

antigenlost1989 · ‎18-10-2012

Wow Gay thats an amazing list

Sophie-RO · ‎18-10-2012

Oh yes you did Dani FC! Thanks for sharing the new booklet!!

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Twenty10 · ‎18-10-2012

@Dani
the new booklet is so great!