feeling out of place as an Asian person
I am half asian and I live in a very small town. It's very white basically. I never felt out of place until year seven when someone yelled a racial slur at me. Since then it has been micro-agressions over and over. I can't go a week without hearing someone say something. And recently a kid got expelled because I told on him being racist.
After word had got out that I was the one that told on him I was laughed at and made fun of. I am now labelled as the "woke" kid. People roll their eyes at me constantly when I mention anything to do with race. I've been to the school counsellor and that has helped a bit but I think I just have to wait until I move away. Can anyone relate in any way? I just need to know that I'm not being dramatic.
Comments
Hi @idkbro 🪴
First of all, you are absolutely not being dramatic. Your feelings are valid, and it’s incredibly important that you reported their behaviour. Racism should never be tolerated, and it’s great to hear that your school took it seriously and that your school counselor has been helping you navigate this difficult situation. Standing up for yourself in such a challenging circumstance is both brave and courageous.
As a South Asian person who grew up in a small, predominantly white town, I can relate to the isolation that comes with microaggressions. It was a constant struggle, and it was hard to overcome. But over time, I learned that my identity is special and unique, and nothing anyone says or does can take that from me. What others throw at you is a reflection of their own insecurities, not of who you are.
Wishing you all the best.
Hey @idkbro
I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this, I know firsthand just how difficult it is. I want you to know that you are in no way being dramatic and you are not alone. I am Lebanese and also live in a predominantly white community. I experienced racism when I was in school also. It made me feel ashamed and embarrassed to be Lebanese or yes, that I should move away to where there was more people like me. However, as I have gotten older, I realised how proud and happy I am to be part of the Lebanese culture and my family. It was definitley hard to go to school where people did not understand my differences or even accept that I was of another race. But I am here to tell you that you should never stop talking about your race, it is part of who you are, and the people that do not accept that are the problem, not you! You will meet people that will accept you for who you are and embrace your culture. The people that are not accepting you are not worth your time. Please do not lose hope, not all people will treat you this way.
It's so great that you have reached out on here and I am always more than happy to chat with you more whenever you'd like. You're not alone in this!
Hey @idkbro
I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's absolutely not okay to face racial slurs and micro-aggressions, and you are definitely not being dramatic. What you're experiencing is real and hurtful.
It's brave of you to speak up and report the racism, even though it led to more trouble for you. It's frustrating and unfair that standing up for yourself has led to being labeled and made fun of.
While it’s good to hear the school counsellor has been somewhat helpful, it’s understandable that you feel like moving away might be the only solution. Sometimes, a change of environment can make a big difference. But until then, remember that you have every right to feel safe and respected.
You’re not alone in this. There are many people who understand what you’re going through and support you. Keep reaching out, and don’t hesitate to lean on those who have your back.
Take care and stay strong.
Hey @idkbro , thanks for sharing what you've been going through.
Firstly, just want to echo what others have been saying - you are absolutely NOT being dramatic. I relate to that feeling, especially as a POC in a predominately white space... it can be quite isolating. If something is harmful and no one calls it out, nothing will change! But then having such a heavy burden to carry as an individual, and someone who feels out of place already is rough. It is frustrating when only you are the one willing to take action - but know that you have done a very brave thing.
I'm glad you're seeing a counsellor and that has helped! Talking about this is important and hopefully finding a community (such as the one here!) will help validate your feelings because many of us share this experience.
We are lucky to come from rich cultures with incredible histories and strong people no matter what others may say to put us down!
You are doing great and we are here alongside you ❤️
(TW)
you definitely arent being dramatic!! the kids at your school sound disgusting. imagine being angry at someone because they didnt like people being racist to them? thats really stupid. i can relate in a small way, i am also half asian, not many things have been said to me though.
and told to go hang out with my sister (some random asian girl, we werent even the same asian). it still made me really angry though. racism is racism, and you have every right to be upset about this!!
thank you for this reply, Its very horrible to hear that you are also getting micro-agressions but at least we aren't alone. If anything else happens feel free to tell me about it and we can talk it out. ❤️
Hey there idkbro,
Don't worry. You aren't being dramatic, because first of all you are located in a smaller location that would have difficulties in connection to other cultures. And secondly, what you did was a method in protecting yourself that is safe.
As being Chinese myself, I had many experiences from primary school that I was bullied or harrassed for being Asian. Either from being food different from the usual sandwich or looking different from others. Most of the time, people's behaviour reflect the enviroment, people and culture they are in. So, it might take some time for people to understand the consequences of their actions.
Be proud of your culture, because that is what makes a part of you.
Hey @idkbro
Sorry about to hear what you're going through. I do not think you are being dramatic, and I do not think anyone should have to tolerate racism/other forms of discrimination. It sounds like the small town you are currently in is a very toxic environment for you, because people clearly don't take racism seriously and it seems almost normalized (people laughing at you for rightfully standing up against racist remarks).
As for relating to your experiences, I am an Asian, but I have only rarely experienced racist behavior from others. However, I have been bullied for my physical appearance in high school (once I got to university I realized it was just the toxic high school environment), so I can fully relate to being stuck in a toxic environment and repeatedly hearing negative comments about yourself.
It's great that seeing the school counsellor has helped you a bit, and I definitely agree that moving away would be the best solution (it's not a healthy environment).
Hope this helps 🙂
Greenfern
Hi idkbro,
Welcome to the ReachOut Online Community!
I am really sorry to hear you have been experiencing racism, I imagine this is a very isolating time for you, especially living in a small town. I want you to know racism is never okay and in my opinion you are not being dramatic at all. I think standing up for yourself is an incredibly brave thing to do, not only for you but other people who have experienced racism. I am disappointed to hear that poeple are making fun of your experiences of racism and that it is making things so tough for you at school.
Reaching out to the school counsellor was a great thing to do as it is important you don't go through this alone. Have you spoken to anyone else about this, such as a family member who may understand? Did you pick up any useful tips from the counsellor on how to cope or how to look after your mental wellbeing when times are tough? You may also like to check out this article on our website about how to cope with racism or this personal story about dealing with racism
I hope you are able to build some connections in this community with others who may have similar experiences.
Thank you, I haven't got many coping mechanisms that could help apart from just not going to school. I missed alot of days after the main incident which wasn't great for my attendance. I was advised to just do the hobbies that I like i think? And just talking to my counsellor about random stuff made me feel heard in some ways.
Hi idkbro,
It is completely understandable not wanting to go to school after what you have experienced and are still experiencing. Sounds like though you are doing the best you can and I'm glad to hear you are feeling heard when speaking to your counsellor.
I thought I'd add a link to some self-care and mindfullness articles we have that might give you some insperation for some coping stratagies.
Just know we're here for you and always happy to listen 🙂
