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Divorce

Hey guys! I would like to hear some opinions on the following:

 

My parents divorced one year ago. My mother was unhappy in the relationship and finally found the courage to set boundaries and left my father. She left him for another man. He is supportive and I like him. 

The problem is that my father is holding grudges. I absolutely understand that it hurts when somebody breaks up with you. But he is acting up like a child. 

My mother was always there for the family. She was the one who wanted things to work out while my father was working and never seemed to be interested in my sister's life and mine.

 

Now he is telling us things that my mother did not allow him to spend time with us, that she's a whore who deserves nothing and some other awful things.

I can't do this anymore and I want to move to my mother. 

 

I don't know how to react to the things he's saying. 

 

It would be nice to hear what you guys think about and maybe some of you experienced the same situation after the parents divorced. 

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Re: Divorce

@Khloe I'm sorry to hear that your parents have separated. It's never easy when a relationship breaks down and even more so when it's your family and parents. 

 

Hearing your dad talk about your mum like that must be so hard to hear! I wonder how you are coping with all of this stress? I imagine it's not easy.

 

In regards to moving in with your mum. Is this something you have spoken to anyone around you about?

 

I'm not sure what else to say to help, but I wanted to congratulate you on finding the courage to open up here and seek support. Heart


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Divorce

Hi @Khloe 

 

Ah. I'm so sorry to hear. Sounds like you're stuck in the middle, which is NEVER fun. 

 

It's hard to give you advice without knowing the full picture, especially regarding whether to move in with your mother or not. 

 

However, in terms of your dad speaking badly of your mother, I'd be upfront with him if I were you. It sounds like the way he is speaking is really bothering you. So I'd say something like "Hey dad... I know you're really upset by what has happened with mum... and I'm sorry about that... but hearing you speak about mum like that does really upset me... I'm here for you generally, but I'd prefer if you didn't speak to me about mum. It puts me in a really uncomfortable position. How does that sound to you? Do you understand why I'm saying this?"

 

I know being upfront might be really hard, but at least that way you set the boundaries. Dealing with your parent's divorce is hard and your dad shouldn't be putting that sort of negativity on to you. It might be good to refer him to counselling services if he needs a chat, perhaps MensLine. Even if you say something like "I know you need to vent and let it out so I looked up some services and MensLine is a free counselling service for men having relationship issues. Do you think you could call them to vent? They're available 24/7" 

 

Just so you know - the above is my opinion - but you need to do what is right for you. 

 

Please keep us updated on how you go Heart and please look after yourself Smiley Happy

Re: Divorce

Thank you @Bee and @Maddy-RO for replying so fast. I didn't expect somebody would actually try to help me. I really appreciate it so much. 💖

 

I've already talked about it with my mother and tried to talk with my father too. I also mentioned the things he's saying about my mother and how I feel about it. I don't think that he understands my perspective, but I'll get through it. 

 

 

Re: Divorce

@Khloe you're very welcome Heart

I'm glad that you talked to your mother about this. Was talking to her helpful?
I'm sorry to hear that it seems like he doesn't understand your prespective. That is really hard.

How are things going for you over the weekend?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart