My life sucks will this end.
This has taken me alot of courage to write this but I'm done. My life honestly sucks at this stage though and need to vent.
I'm 24 still stuck at home liveing with my perents because I struggle to hold down a job because of my ASD and can't get disability because I have to get re diagnosed apparently. This also sucks because my family are for lack of better words complete fuckwits who feel that makeing my life hell because I don't have the means to move out is what I deserve.
This includes being treated like a dementia patient because I don't follow there exact schedules and they assume I have some sort of memory issue and being constanty called
and an addict because dispute the fact I'm a year clean of drug use myself I still haven't gone to rehab (they won't pay for me to go to a private one and the public one where I live is just a bunch of old 50 years plus substance addicts. Despite the fact I've stoped though they still belive because of some supposed statistic my dad read a decade ago that I'm gonna be fucked for life though and deserve to be treated like shit they also never leave me alone by myself (they often complain that because I'm around they can't go on holiday because they cant trust me because i might being people over and that i wont feed the cat or other pathetic excuses.
I've never honestly had much of a social life party caused by the fact that because I didn't fit my dads definition of normal I got shoved into special ed in school which led to constant bullying and me developing extremely bad anxiety and self esteem issues. I'm littereraly going bald at 24 due to the stress of this. my dad also uses this as an excuse to keep saying I'm still using drugs because it's "the sign of an Addict" that im going bald. NO! It's because I'm slowly going insane because nothing ever fucking works put for me in life.
Sorry for ranting hope everyone else has a better day.
Comments
Hi there @Saxon_Prince 
It sounds like you've been having a hard time with everything that's been going on for you. I'm so glad you've taken the time and effort to reach out let us know what's going on for you at the moment.
As Astra-RO pointed out, you've shown so much strength with the bullying you've experienced, the stress you've been experiencing, getting clean, and your struggle to hold down a job with ASD. It sounds like you've been having a lot of difficulty and upsetting family interactions too, that haven't been helping you. It sounds frustrating to not be trusted either.
Astra-RO has provided you with a great resource suggestion to get in contact with (Kids Helpline). I'm wondering how you've been coping with all of this up until now, and what methods of self-care you have in place that you can turn to in addition to this? Are there any activities you can do when you feel the stress you've been describing that could be soothing? For instance, I like to do some grounding techniques (e.g., 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste), meditation (e.g., the app Smiling Mind has some meditation activities), or do an activity I enjoy to keep me occupied (for me, lego is a great distraction).
Best wishes with all of this, I'm so glad ranting/venting has been helpful for you. Don't hesitate to reach out again 💜
Hey @Saxon_Prince welcome to the community and thanks for writing and sharing all this with us. I want to acknowledge that as you've said reaching out can take a lot of courage to do.
It sounds like you've had to show a lot of strength and resilience in your life, with the bullying at school, navigating life with ASD, and getting clean. On top of this, it sounds like things are really tough at home and your parents have been treating you poorly because you haven't been able to get a job and because of your previous substance use, which really sucks and doesn't sound okay. You certainly don't deserve to be treated badly because of things you're struggling with or have previously struggled with. It's understandable that being constantly reminded of this would be really frustrating and upsetting.
I'm wondering if you have any supports in your life who you've been able to talk with about this with? If you're needing to chat 1:1 with a professional, a service like Kids Helpline could be helpful as well.
I just wanted to let you know that we'll be sending you an email shortly so please keep an eye out for that!
