can't do this anymore. need to move out asap
hi
the biggest problem about this is that im 15 and i understand that i can hardly do anything right now that goes for moving out. things are just so hard; parents are extremely homo/transphobic, strict on the dumbest stuff ever and it's just a pain to even be myself.
i feel bad saying this, because my parents are not inherently bad people. they're loving and caring, but look i got asian parents and we all know the asian narrative of strictness and the murder of any kind of personality their child may have.
i want to get out as soon as i turn 18, but they don't allow me to have a dorm in the uni ill go for.
they also want me to stay with them until i get married... but im asexual and i don't want kids of my own. it's already hard for me to make friends, what's more with a spouse???
but that's all i want. to live elsewhere, hopefully as soon as i turn 20. im trying to get jobs now so i can save up and leave.
ps. my parents keep my debit card and forbid me from using it any time besides when i actually want to buy something. i feel like i should mention that
Comments
Hi there @rivai
I'm so sorry that you're in this awkward situation of wanting to move out but being unable to due to your age. I'm sure that this environment isn't serving you entirely well, given the level of control I can see you've described from your parents.
As the other's have suggested, going to a GP and a counsellor may be a good way to go as a means of coping during this time and perhaps finding new strategies to cope. Perhaps you might have access to a school counsellor too, which could be a lot cheaper?
I would also like to ask if you have any coping strategies at the moment to keep you going? Do you have any hobbies to distract yourself with when things get tough? Do you do any mental activities such as mindfulness or grounding? Please remember to look after yourself during these last few years at home 💜
Hey @rivai
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sorry to hear that things have been so hard for you lately. It is understandable how difficult it must be for you to be surrounded by people who don’t accept you for how you are. It also sounds like there is a lot of pressure about your future from your family which conflicts with your own dreams and who you are. That must be really challenging to be dealing with.
I was wondering if you have been able to talk to anyone about this and how you have been feeling? Whether it be a friend, family member, school support, GP or mental health professional? It is important to know that you don’t have to go through this alone and deserve all the support available to you.
I also wanted to share some resources we have with you around money stress which I thought you may find helpful to have a look through. We also have some resources around work which may be helpful to have a look through for whenever you get a job or begin looking for one.
I was also wondering if you have any positive coping strategies or if there is anything you do to take care of yourself?
Take care
Hi @rivai 💛
I am so sorry to hear that you are having troubles at home. I imagine it would be very difficult to deal with all of this, especially at your age. Having problems with your parents can be difficult, like you said - they can be loving and caring, but their words and actions can also be hurtful which is very confusing and hard for us to deal with. you definitely don't deserve to be treated this way, and it's great that you have come to ReachOut for support.
I am wondering is there anyone you would feel comfortable speaking to about this in person? maybe a school counsellor, or trusted teacher? or even a friend?
I understand that it is a very tricky situation given your age, and I apologise for being unable to give more specific advice. Can I ask if there are any self-care strategies you are using to take care of yourself at the moment? (e.g hobbies, exercise, meditation) that often helps me during difficult situations.
sending love 🫶🏻
