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Feeling extremely lonely and hopeless

Hi Im in my second year of uni,and Im struggling with extreme loneliness. It is so painful not having anyone ever to text or chat to or hang out with. The most heartbreaking part is when you have to watch everyone around you,having the absolute best time with their friends. It seems like everyone around me has amazing friendgroups and are living their best lives. I know that people dont show everything on social media and everything isnt as it seems,but its become to the point where I cant click on other people's stories in case it sends me into a depressive spiral for the rest of the day. Ive tried talking to people in my classes,and joining clubs but I always feel like an outsider and like I dont belong or never end up forming any meaningful connections.I dont know whats wrong with me,that I cant seem to make any good friends or connections. It is affecting me to the point that I am constantly depressed and hopeless,and am struggling with my course. I have become hopeless that I will ever find people with whom I belong with and can have fun with. Sorry if this ended up being of a vent,but it just hurts so much at the moment.

shruddles
shruddlesPosted 19-03-2023 11:39 PM

Comments

 
snuggery
snuggeryPosted 20-03-2023 06:34 PM

Hi @shruddles - firstly I want to say that you're so strong for expressing the way you're feeling at the moment since sometimes it can be really hard to put into words how much something hurts. I also wanted to say that you are not alone.

I felt really drawn to your post because it's something I've struggled with so much too. I've fallen into that cycle before where I'd just compare myself to others and wonder why I can't be more like everyone else, why it's so hard for me to find meaningful and lasting connections with others. It's such a terrible feeling to constantly feel like an outsider no matter where you go. 

I hear you've mentioned that you avoid clicking on other people's stories in case it will further strengthen those feelings of loneliness, and I'm wondering if you've considered removing those accounts whose content tends to leave you feeling lonelier? In my experience it's been really helpful to remove any accounts that would leave me feeling down or compare myself to.

I understand that feeling of knowing that people tend to only show their highlight reel, but still putting myself down regardless. It's something I've worked on for a long time and have gotten better at with time.

It sounds like you've truly tried to put youself out there but it hasn't resulted in any meanginful connections and it's been really impacting you lately. It's understandable that feeling this extreme loneliness for so long would lead you to feeling hopeless. When we feel lonely and disconnected for so long it can really impact our self-worth and we're left wondering what is wrong with who we are.

But I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in any way. There are people out there who struggle with this too and know just how heart breaking it is to feel this way for so long. I think it's also so important to let these feelings out and reach out when it gets too much. I feel like it can help to know that you're not the only one going through something so intense. I'm here cheering you on, you are so strong. You are strong for continuing to try despite how hopeless things feel. You deserve to feel connected, you deserve to feel like you belong. You are so deserving, no matter how you feel. I hope you never lose sight of that. 😊

 
 
shruddles
shruddlesPosted 25-03-2023 12:38 AM

Hi @snuggery thanks for your sweet reply. Unfortunately its still painful and I think it will be a long time before I find the friends I want,but thanks for giving me some much needed validation and reassurance😊

 
Sally_RO
Sally_ROPosted 20-03-2023 03:10 PM

Hi @shruddles , welcome to the ReachOut Forums! It's really nice to have you here😊

It sounds like you have been having a tough time lately dealing with loneliness and feeling like you're missing out on meaningful connections in life. I am sorry that you are going through this. I can understand how observing friendships groups out in public and on social media has made you feel all the more isolated.

When you're feeling lonely, have you found anything that helps you cope and get by? We have a Weekly Wellbeing on living through loneliness here, if you're interested. 

As you pointed out, it's important to try to remind yourself that social media is often a highlight reel of people's lives, and the not-so-fun stuff is not often revealed. Have you considered removing some of the accounts who post content that doesn't make you feel good? 

It sounds like you have been putting yourself out there to meet new people at uni and through clubs. Do you have any hobbies or interests? I am curious as to whether there are any groups out there that might suit your interests. 

If you are ever wanting to chat with someone with lived experience of mental health, PeerChat might be worth checking out 🙂

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