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Finding friends
Hi Evryone,
I have always found finding friends difficult as I’m an introvert and don’t approach people or I’m not as confident. I’m nearly 26 now and still find it difficult and on a long run it will affect my mental health as well as other aspects of my life. Ideally would love to connect with others around my age and make friends and socialise. Where could I possibly find friends after I hit 26 and even now?
Comments
I totally understand, that making friends and connecting with others can be difficult especially when everyone has such busy lives.
I would try and find something that interests you whether it is online or in person there are some great groups out there. Instagram I have found is a great place to do this as well, lots of people are posting about things to do in the area mostly the cities I have seen. These can include running groups, and walking groups, I have seen pottery classes and some just in general who make it their goal to connect with others, so they create all random activities. They are the ones I have seen the most but I am sure there is more out there. That might be an idea and they are often centred more towards the middle 20s I have seen. I think the walking groups are great, you get to meet new people and even if you're not quite there for that, you still get a benefit out of it.
If you study are there people you can connect with there? That has often been the easiest way. Just start by saying hi how are you to some and then eventually it can lead to other conversations and catching up outside of uni.
Small steps are the way to go when making friends I like to think when you're introverted (that's me) it can help slowly build confidence up and you start to feel more comfortable around them.
I hope some of this helps otherwise there are some other great suggestions from the others.
Hello @Lavender_Starling
This is such a brave post and one that I resonate with a lot. I am 24 and like most people on this thread, as I have grown older, I have found it increasingly difficult to make and maintain friendships. Unfortunately, I have still not found the 'perfect' way to make friends, especially finding ones with similar interests, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone in feeling alone. Most of my friends have come through my workplaces, however it also seems that as I leave and move onto new jobs, those friendships do not last despite the effort I try and put in. Reading this thread has inspired me with some new ideas, as I hope it has done for you. I have also found a local workout group that I may go to, once I work up the courage that is! Perhaps, you might have an art or exercise group within your area?
All the best with forming new relationships, please reach out if you need to chat 🌹
Hey! @Lavender_Starling, I can definitely relate! It can be so challenging, especially when it feels like most people have busy lives and lots of friends already. It reassures me to remember that everyone is entering/leaving different stages of life, moving locations and changing friend groups - so there are many people in a similiar place of wanting friendships. Can I ask what your main interests are? It might be helpful for brainstorming ideas 🙂
Hey there @Lavender_Starling
Thanks for the post. I do understand your situation as having friends that you can bond over is a difficult thing to find. Especially when being an introvert.
Interacting with people online that have the same interests is always a good first step in connecting with people. This method is good in being quick and accessible, but there is a probability of encountering people younger than you. Which would be out of your ideal in finding a friend and connecting with others.
If you are currently studying in a university, a good way in connecting with others is through group work. Based on personal experience, knowing people through group work is one of the best ways to see if both you and them are able to connect with each other. Some of my closests friends I know were all from the same group project we had done.
While this method worked for me, I do not know if it will work for you. But choose and think of what methods works for you specifically.
I hope this would be able to help you, talk to us if you need some more help!
I totally get it! As a fellow introvert, I've often found myself feeling like I don't quite fit in or that socializing is a chore. I've even caught myself thinking, "Ugh, humans can be exhausting!" But despite our introverted tendencies, we still crave meaningful connections and friendships.
I've found that online communities and forums centred around shared interests have been a lifesaver for me. I can participate at my own pace, without feeling overwhelmed or drained. And when I do feel ready to venture out, I try to start small – like grabbing coffee with someone or attending a low-key gathering.
It's also important to remember that confidence comes with time and practice. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't click with someone right away. And hey, being quiet and reserved doesn't mean you're not interesting or valuable! Your unique perspective and insights can be a breath of fresh air to others.
As for meeting people around our age, I've found that local events, meetups, or classes can be great opportunities. Even if it feels daunting at first, remember that everyone starts somewhere. And who knows, you might be surprised by the amazing people you meet!
Lastly, don't underestimate the power of shared interests and hobbies. Bonding over something you're passionate about can create a strong foundation for friendships. So, don't give up hope! Keep putting yourself out there (even if it's just a little bit), and know that you're not alone in this struggle.
Hope this helps 😊
I totally get it. Good on you for bringing this up. I feel like as we get older, this sort of stuff isn't talked about out of fear that you don't want to be seen as experiencing loneliness by others (if you don't mind me calling it that).
You mentioned that you are more an introvert. Are there perhaps some avenues you could look into, to spark some connections with people, that suit your personality more? Like over the internet etc. where there isn't the initial stress of face-to-face interaction. There was a great comment earlier also about having a brief moment of "awkwardness" with someone in saying that you'd like to catch up another time. Who knows it could work out!
Hello @Lavender_Starling
Hope that you are doing well and thank you for reaching out on this issue with us ☺️
Personally, I get how you feel, as I age, I see it getting harder and harder to make friends and keeping them around as well ( as well as finding life long ones).
When I first got into Australia, I was also quite alone as I have left the current network of friends I have had back home.
Thus, I had to start from scratch, making my life-long trust worthy friends from small informal study sessions from Uni.
Apart from that, I also made friends through events hosted by student support agencies like Study groups which brought me closer to people who were also in my predicaments as well as various religious groups at the start ( albeit that did not end well for me, so that group of friends were scrapped)
I also managed to maintain some old friends that I have made through my interests from Discord, and we talk infrequently when we all have some time to spare.
So ya it’s a bit tough at the start and you might lose some friends here and there, but I would advice you to give a shot where ever, sometimes it’s not going to all smooth sailing ( like my instance with the religious group), but most times you get to find some people you really connect with.
In any case, l hope that was of some help to you and I hope you get to connecting with some people soon ☺️
Thanks for asking this. I feel like as we age it does become harder to connect with others. For me my work is quiet solitary so work friends isn’t really and option so what I do instead is pick a hobby I like and emerge myself in that community. I have done so with Volleyball, online games and music. Facebook groups are a great place to start if you want to join a game group or a band etc.
But at the end of the day change is always going to be uncomfortable. If we stay in our comfort zone nothing will ever change. Not saying you have to go up to random people in a bar but if you find yourself in a situation where you think you might like to pursue a friendship with someone. Tell them you like their vibe and should go for coffee etc. Get their contact! One moment of awkwardness could lead to a really nice friendship.
But to start to me it’s about finding a group of likeminded people and immersing yourself in it.
You got this!
Firstly I want to say that I am really proud of you for coming on here and sharing what you are going through, it can be very challenging opening up to others, especially if you are introverted, have social anxiety etc.
Finding and keeping friends can be really hard, and I've noticed myself it can be harder as we get older. I can see that you do really want to connect with others, and I think coming on here is a good step in your journey.
I think the best way to find and make friends is through hobby/interest groups (physical or online) or even workshops/classes. I made a few friends myself a few years ago when I had a dark academia aesthetic account on Tumblr, and we bonded over various interests such as classic literature, music, plants, fashion and antiques. Volunteering is also a great way of creating new connections too! I know there are apps where you can make friends too, but I have not had much success with those.
I know from personal experience that not having friends or just people to talk to will take a toll on your mental health and general well-being. So again, I'm really proud of you for reaching out on here, and I hope that talking to myself and all the lovely people here on ReachOut will help you a little.
I look forward to hearing from you!
- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚