Girlfriend broke up with me
Hey guys I thought I might discuss my feelings. As the title says my girlfriend broke up with about two weeks ago and I’m still finding it hard. She was my life and she really made me happy but she said her feelings weren’t the same anymore and she ended things.
Comments
Hi CosmicWolf798,
Sorry to hear you are going through this. Although I didn't have the same degree of positive feelings towards that person as you seem to have, I've experienced a very saddening breakup in the past as well, and it also was ended by them relatively suddently. Thus, I can somewhat relate to you and how hard it is at the moment. Just wondering, did your girlfriend give you any reasons for breaking up? Or were there any signs/indications that things aren't as well as before? I know people do not have to necessarily give a reason for breaking up, but it can be nice to have some closure. Also, did she mention anything about friendship potentially? I'm just wondering what are your options with her going forward.
Regardless of whether friendship may be an option after some time, for now it is good to distance yourself from her. I personally found it helpful to really mourn the relationship the first few days, especially since it meant a lot to you. This release of emotions can also help with moving on later. It is also helpful to talk to close others about what you are going through. After the more intense parts of sadness have passed, I think it's helpful to invest more time in other parts of life, in other activities and people that make you feel happy. For me, what really helped was meeting new people and joining new activities that I ended up really really liking. It fills the void in the short term, and it provides new options and new network in the long-term.
Nonetheless, I think whatever I have mentioned is based on the idea that the breakup was certain and final. From what you have described, it seems that it is final. It would not be good for you to hold on to feelings for her as she has decided to move on.
Hope this response helps! At the moment, it can feel like you lost something, you lost an important part of your life and happiness that you can never get back. But on the other hand, it is an opportunity. It gives you more time and space for new things and new people you may end up liking even more! (personal experience)
-Greenfern
First of all thank you. She never gave a full reason, she just said her feelings have been slowly depleting and I could see the past couple of weeks before she ended things I could see her being a lot more distant. It really upset me, i know I wasn't a perfect boyfriend but i tried my best to be and when she ended things, I was heart broken. I think distancing myself from her is a good idea but sometimes it's hard to not think of her when you're sitting down alone. Reflecting on it, i guess it make sense she wasn't the one for me but I'm scared i won't find the one. My ex had a lot of great qualities and after two weeks it's hard not to think about her. Anyway I'm rambling lol. I think I just want to know it will get better? That rainbow is just around the corner?
thank you responding and giving advice that was really nice
best wishes
Hey @CosmicWolf798 I just wanted to let you know I've edited your response to remove your real name from it, in line with our Community Guidelines. And also just to say I'm glad you've got family support, and to let you know that there is absolutely still hope. The rainbow will shine for you, absolutely. It could also help to think about it in terms of like... 'the one' doesn't necessarily exist. No two people are perfect for each other, we all have our flaws and we all end up in conflict with our loved ones from time to time. None of us can ever be the 'perfect boyfriend'. But that doesn't mean we can't find beautiful, fulfilling relationships that allow us to grow, lift each other up, and enrich each others lives.
Give it time, and you will find someone new 😊💚
Sorry about that i didn't realise lol.
I am positive it will get better, just at the moment I am pretty down in the dumps. I'm trying to be more fun out there and enjoy myself before I jump back into the dating. And thank you, I'm glad to know there is always that light at the end of the tunnel. I guess i just need to keep travelling in the dark to get to it
All good @CosmicWolf798 😉
Take your time with it, as needed. Glad to hear you're putting yourself out there 😊
Hey @CosmicWolf798 I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. Break ups are never easy, and to be honest to me, two weeks is still super recent - so I think it's pretty normal that you're feeling this way at the moment. Good on you for being open and sharing your feelings with us, it can be so difficult to do that sometimes, especially when feeling so down. I think it can be especially difficult when the other person gives a vague kind of reason, and whilst people's feelings do sometimes change over time, it isn't always easy to sit with that kind of thing.
What sort of things have you been doing to cope? Do you have supportive friends or family who you can talk to about what's going on?
We have a couple resources you might want to take a look at, you might find some ideas about ways you can cope with the difficult thoughts and feelings that can arise in the wake of losing someone important to you - one is an article, and one is an app you can download:
Hope this helps, and of course feel free to vent/express yourself here as much as needed. Can be a lot of complex feelings in a break up, and it can be really good to get them off your chest.
Thank you
I've been spending a lot of time with my family and it's been really helpful. They have been so supportive and I am really thankful they are there for me.
