HELP! Romance and Parents

Hi @Green_Forest , I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this right now 💜

It sounds like you're really upset that your parents are preventing you from seeing this person you really like, and this is really understandable. It also sounds like you really enjoy spending time with this guy, and that your connection with him is something really important to you. I really get that you would feel like your feelings are being dismissed and treated as unimportant in this situation. Parents are super important figures in a person's life and it's important that they support you and communicate with you, rather than simply outright prohibiting you from doing things, or seeing certain people.

I totally second the advice from @snazzy_pigeon and checking out the article that @Stormy-RO linked below. I think that by taking a chance to organise your thoughts, or write them down, before you chat with your parents would be really beneficial in the sense that it would make sure that you get to say all the things you really want to say. It's really easy in these types of conversations to get caught up in the moment, and let our emotions take over, and while this is totally understandable, it also sometimes means that you don't actually get to make all the points that you wanted to! So, I think planning something to say could be super helpful. I think it's really important that you feel able to communicate openly with your parents, especially about things which are really important to you! Your feelings are important and you deserve to you feel heard, and understood by your parents.

I also wanted to say that your kudos to everyone struggling with mental illness at the moment is really lovely to hear. As someone who has struggled with depression in the past this meant a lot. Mental illness can make even really simple tasks immensly challenging and healing really is an ongoing and non-linear journey. I'm hoping that your taking some time through this tricky situation to look after your mental health too, and do some self-care 💛

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds so frustrating when your parents don't seem to understand how much this means to you. Have you tried sitting down with them and calmly explaining how you feel and why it's important to you? Sometimes parents worry about things they don't fully understand, and a heartfelt conversation can make a difference.

We're here for you. Hang in there!

Hey @Green_Forest 

This is something I can relate to so much!!

My parents are very traditional greeks and have very strict boundaries as to what they are and are not ok with. It took ages for them to warm up to my current partner.

I definitely agree with the suggestion from @snazzy_pigeon to write what you want to say down and then say it to them or if that is to scary even just giving it to them so you can articulate what you feel and what you want them to understand without stressing about phrasing it in the moment or in my case being scared of crying hahaha.

I don't know if this would work for you but maybe see if they would be ok if he came over and hung out with you at home instead of going out with him? That way they could maybe get to know him a little more as well.

It is so frustrating when your parents don't understand how you feel and why but you are doing great. Venting to others and journalling my feelings as well as excerice were ways I tried to manage the build up of emotions from these types of situations. Make sure to do some self care that works for you too!

I am sending positive vibes ❤️

Hey there @Green_Forest 

No need to apologise for posting again! That's what the forum is for after all hehe, so feel free to vent, chat etc to your hearts content. 

But I am sorry that your parents are interfering with your relationships, it can be hella annoying when parents start to stick their nose into business that does not invovle them. This is a long shot but maybe you could try having a serious sit down with them and talk about how you're feeling. Even if you write down what you want to say beforehand and read it to them. 
I also recommend looking at the article @KaizerBiker and @Matcha_Toad have already suggested.

I hope things start turning up soon!

Hi @Green_Forest 

I am really sorry to hear that your parents are not letting you catch up with the guy you like, and what impact this is having on you, it sounds like a really difficult time for you right now. I also understand how it feels to not be understood by parents, especially your feelings, even opening up to them can be really hard, but it truly sounds like you want them understand you at the very least. Being understood is so important.

I do think the article @Stormy-RO has included would certainly help you in the process of communicating your feelings and discussing the situation with your parents. I used to really struggle to open up about all sorts of things to my parents. It's taken me a long time to become good at it, and now I can have open, honest and healthy conversations with my parents. The steps in the article are pretty much what I followed myself, and persistence too!

Also I think it's really lovely that you are commending everyone who has a mental illness and are trying to navigate life and our recovery, it's not something you hear everyday, so it means a lot. Some days can be tougher than others, but I truly am proud of you, and I do hope you are able to open up to your parents about your feelings, and hopefully, you might be able to go see the guy that you like.

- Matcha_Toad🐸🍵💚

Hello @Green_Forest 

It’s good to see that you are back!

Also it looks like you are also having quite a hard time at the moment, as it must be very difficult getting your parent to understand you or get on the same page as you.

The article that @Stormy-RO has shared on how you can make your parents really listen I believe is a really excellent resource to use.

Because I personally have employed some of these tactics as well. For instance, I have had a lot of back and forth with my parents in the past on the subject and program that I ended up taking up as of now.

And a lot of the strategies that was in that article really helped ( such as waiting it out and trying again) but another way in which I convinced my parents was getting the help of others close to me as well as them ( such of my close relatives), and which was the key success for me.

However if that’s not available, that’s alright too, a key step would just be to wait it out for now and then observe how your parents are feeling. When you start to calm down, try to employ the tactics in the article that @Stormy-RO has shared, and see how you go.

Also are they any other tactics that have worked out for you that you recall, perhaps it could be useful for this situation?

In any case, I hope this helped and I wish you luck.

Hey @Green_Forest welcome back to the community ❤️

It sounds like things have become quite complicated since your last post and I'm sorry to hear that it's taking such a toll on you. Having your parents not understand how you're feeling and the level of distress you're in only adds to a hard situation of not being able to see someone important to you. It sounds like you really want to find a way to communicate to your parents how you're feeling about their decision, we have an article on how to get your parents to really listen to you which may be helpful. 

I also wanted to commend you on your recovery journey. It can take ups and downs especially in moments like this where it feels so hard to manage the pain. I was wondering if there's been anything in the past which has helped you to manage when things are so tough?

We're also sending an email to check in, can you keep an eye out for that?