I really just want a gf someone to hold to kiss to love
Ok so I have had a couple rough relationships and I made myself promise not to get into a relationship till at least next yr but GOD DAMMIT I WANT TO BREAK IT. I don’t have anyone to break the promise for but I just want someone to have, hold, kiss, love, give my all to and actually be accepted, to have someone there when I need them. I’m not asking to much am I? I’m trying to be an emotional guy but it hasn’t gone well for me both times so i think I won’t be as emotional again.
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Honestly so real. I've never related to anything more than this post.
and being an emotional guy isn't a bad thing. Having emotions is normal and no one (especially your own partner) should be telling you how to feel and you shouldn't blame yourself for feeling emotions.
and some girls like a guy who's emotional.
just be yourself. Take your time and don't feel pressured. I'm a lot like you, I want someone to love and care for but take it easy and slowly and she'll definitely come around.
please remember you deserve to be loved and cared for! You're worth it🫂🩷
Dude, totally been there. I'm there rn honestly. I just want and need someone to hold desperately
Hey @I_Tried ,
Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch right now. It does get difficult especially if you have been in a relatively long relationship and it breaks off. I feel you as well sometimes it gets very tempting to swing into a relationship just because I use to want to get into one for the dopamine and the intimacies ( hug, kisses, etc) that comes with it. However, I feel like finding or bonding with the "right one" takes time, and forcing it ( as in trying to find just find anyone) does not really help in my case.
I personally feel like it might be worthwhile to try to develop yourself and find happiness through yourself first before going on the path to find someone to love and hold, because if you are happy and able to develop yourself, I feel like finding the right match would be a tad be easier and the relationship a whole lot more healthier and worthwhile.
In any case, the temptation to hold and kiss someone is really enticing but it would be good to get your priorities in check, really think it through and develop before you go on this route, you got this!
Fully agree with this response @KaizerBiker
As much as it hurts to reminisce on the past happy times, we should definitely take time to build ourselves back up in our season of singleness before looking for a relationship again.
Intimacy is nice, but looking solely for that is just going to end up with more hurt
I think its amzing how you;ve managed to make a promise to yourself in something like this and learn to love yourself annd grow. However, if you feel you are in place where you could break it because you have a lot to give that is perfectly fine, everything not always linear. If it is a willpower kind of thing to prove something to yourself (I'm like that), then it is totally up to you.
With what you are asking is not too much there are plelenty of people out there that want to be loved and accept others, and be there for someone. It is just the mater of of finding the right person for you. I don't think being an emotional guy is a bad thing either. It can help with communication, show you are supportive and feel safe sharing your emotions. It can help with less confusion and I've heard make tough connversations better, since you can show empathy.
The end of the year is only like 8 weeks way, I believe in you and think you have got this!!
It's definitely not too much to ask for! I'm curious as to why you have said no relationships until at least next year as a minimum, I think that could be a point to reflect on before you choose to get into another relationship. Often when I declare these sorts of things I like to write down, at the time, why I've decided to do this so that I can look back on my thoughts about it later.
But, objectively, there's nothing stopping you from entering another relationship if you feel like you're ready for it. Sometimes we become ready for things quicker than we anticipated originally, and that can be excellent! Definitely take some time to reflect on your readiness for this type of commitment ☺️
It’s encouraging to see you express your feelings around your needs and wants. It’s entirely human to yearn for connection and love and I can hear that you have so much to give. I can hear how painful your past experiences have been, and maybe disappointing and frustrating that trying to be emotional also opened you up to feeling hurt. It sounds like it took courage to share your feelings and I can see how brave you are for picking yourself up to be ready for love again.
Giving yourself time and focusing on self improvement are such important steps that you’re taking to heal. I can also hear how important showing up and acceptance are for you in a relationship, which are such healthy goals to strive for. I want to encourage you to keep an open mind to new relationships, whether they turn out to be friendships or romantic ones, you never know who you’re going to connect with. You’ll get through this, I believe in you!
Hello @Spring_Elephant
Having a fresh romantic relationship can literally make you addicted to the feeling so it is common for people to yearn for new relationships and I understand the desire to have someone to share your life with. But as @Estakz mentioned, it is always good to focus on yourself from time to time. Do you want to jump into a relationship because you do not enjoy your own company? Something I found is that sometimes we need to learn to love our own company and me-time, engaging in hobbies and entertaining yourself. You might find someone you are interested in soon. If so you can stay friends for a while so you don't break your promise for yourself, also giving yourself some more time to breathe and assess the relationship. Improving on yourself can improve relationships too.
Being emotionally mature is allowing yourself to be vulnerable and emotional at the right time instead of bottling it up and pretending everything is fine. I don't know what you mean by being emotional in your case, but if you feel like being emotional is not working out for you, you can definitely try to improve on it. But it is also fine that you are who you are, you don't have to feel pressured to change yourself for others. It is perfectly fine that you want someone that is loving and accepting too, it is a foundation of a good partnership.
This reply might be a bit all over the place. But hope it helps, I am here to talk more if you'd like.
I for the first time in my life can honestly say that I love myself and I accept how I look and I love being in my own company. I seek a partner now bc I feel as thought now I am truly ready for a relationship and that I can be the best bf I can be that's why I just want a gf to give someone this love I have. Bc finally I can give it all truly.
That's great to hear! If you think you are ready then I don't think you should be limited by time. If you find the right person, go for it. Unless you truly want to commit to your promise to yourself, all good too. Relationships are random and can be unexpected, it might just come when you are least expected. I personally think you will be a great partner from what I'm reading.
I have been raised well by my mum and dad and I wanna keep my promise to prove my own resolve to myself ig and determination
Yeah I fully support that as well! Good to keep your own promises and achieve personal growth. The year is coming to an end soon so I hope you can find a healthy and fulfilling relationship! Good luck!
Hey @Spring_Elephant
No, what you're asking for is not much. Trust me, I'm just like you, I too am looking for love and im a rollercoaster of emotions. But one day you will find the one, and she will hold you much more than anyone else ever will. As cliche as all this sounds, focus on yourself for a bit. Set clear goals for what you want in your partner, and don't go diving into every relationship when you get the chance. It's better to avoid being hurt than being hurt entirely. There's also on 63ish days till next year, I'm sure you can last. But if you can't, try to just talk to people. Become interested in them, learn their hobbies, their likes and dislikes, and appreciate them for what they are. Most girls like emotional guys, you just have to wait for the right one.
I believe in you my man, you got this. I'm here if you want to talk. Good luck soldier
