Long distance partner struggling
My partner and I have a very good relationship and are seeing each other in June, but I'm really worried about him, he's so hard on himself all the time. He blames himself for things that aren't his fault and has such a negative self image. I suggested therapy to him and he said he'd like to go with me once I come visit him. But that's a few months away and I'm very concerned for his mental health at the moment is there anything I can do to help him more?
Comments
Hey @bun
I just wanted to say what a lovely and caring partner you are. It sounds like you're very supportive of him and it's very understandable that you're worried for him since you can't see him for a couple months. That must be hard... 😔
As someone who has really benefited from a great partner when I was feeling quite down, I can say that regular contact has helped a lot. Of course not overly often, but regular enough. I appreciated the little check-ins and asking how I was feeling. Sometimes he'd ask me to rate how I was on a scale of 1-10, and even if I hadn't, he'd have kept track and noticed if I said a number that meant I was feeling a little better than I was last time he asked. I think that encouraged me a lot.
Jokes help! Or a funny story. Anything that can make him laugh might help him. I also think assurance is key- I would say I also had a lot of self-doubt in the past. Having a partner there to reassure you of your talents, your beauties, your skills, your great personality, the proof of actual achievements they have done in the past etc.
Of course you know your partner best, so you can pick and choose what you feel he'd like based on his love language and other little things, but I hope some things that my partner has done to help me, can be suggestions for you too.
Please remember to look after yourself as well! Don't feel guilty taking time for yourself and doing the other things you love, or spending time with others you love in your life. I also agree with @Philippa-RO that kids helpline or headspace would be a good option if you feel he needs to talk to a therapist or other professional faster.
I hope you and your partner are doing well today ❤️
@bun you sound like a really caring partner; I'm sorry that you're not able to see your partner in person - it must be really hard when you're worrying about him. 💛
That's such a huge step that he said he'd go to therapy when you're with him, but as it's a while until you'll be seeing each other, do you think there are any supports he might be open to accessing in the meantime?
For example, do you think he might consider something like Kids Helpline or Headspace if he's feeling down or needs someone to talk to?
We also have some articles on our website about developing confidence and positive mindsets if he'd be interested in taking a look.
