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No one to talk to

Hey all,

Lately I've been feeling more and more lonely. I'm surrounded by people and friends, but I don't really like or trust those friends, and I want to expand my circle of people (if that makes sense). Any suggestions on where I could make new friends or meet people my age? I already know everyone at my school, and my parents don't let use Discord 😔.

 

Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

Estakz
EstakzPosted 28-09-2024 10:08 PM

Comments

 
Golden
GoldenPosted 16-10-2024 09:09 PM

Hey, 

I'm so sorry to hear that you were feeling this way. It must be super tough to be surrounded by people and yet feel lonely at the same time. I know it's been a little while since you first posted this, so if you feel comfortable sharing, how are things going now? 

If you're still wanting ways to branch out and expand your circle, what do you think of joining a new sport or trying out social sport? It's a great way to meet people and stay active as well!

 

 
 
Estakz
EstakzPosted 18-10-2024 05:05 PM

Hey @Golden (sorry for late response)

 

Things have been getting a bit better. School started, so I'm able to talk to some of my mates there. Outside of school, I made a new friend online who I really like talking to. As for your suggestion on joining a new sport, I would love to but I feel like I wouldn't be good enough and just get humiliated and I don't think I would meet anyone my age anyways

 
LittlePisces
LittlePiscesPosted 30-09-2024 09:25 PM

@Estakz 

 

Hi and welcome to the community! It sounds like you don't feel as though you can be your true authentic self in your current friend group. I'm sorry to hear that your friends are not making you feel safe as they are untrustworthy and don't seem to celebrate you as you are (which is what you deserve 💜). I am also sorry to hear that despite being surrounded by so many you still feel as though you are alone, that's a tough and very relatable experience. 

 

It is important to understand that the way they treat you is not a reflection of your worth. It's not you, it's the environment you're in, which you have been amazing in recognising yourself! I love that you are taking initiative in finding a more compatible group of friends. As LilacLeopard14 mentioned above, the key is to be yourself and embrace your quirks, this way you will attract the right people and repel those you wouldn't be compatible with! 

 

Any updates on your brainstorm? I'd love to hear what you've come up with. Looking forward to hearing from you 🤗

 
Catlover101
Catlover101Posted 30-09-2024 03:19 PM

Hi @Estakz

Thank you for reaching out. It is great that you want to expand your circle! 


Firstly I want to check in and just see why you don't feel close to your current friends? Is it personality differences or lack of quality time together etc... Just a gentle reminder that to form close friendships takes time and effort so if their is anyone in your current circle you would like to be closer to try and organise more hang outs or study sessions whatever works for you both.

When it comes to making new friends my favourite way to do this (offline) is to join a hobby group (for me this was volleyball team and theatre). I also would really recommend volunteering for a cause you are passionate about. It is genuinely such a great way to meet likeminded people.

Online for me I play video games and have made online friends through that as well.

Good luck on the friend search! and remember to be yourself hahaha

 
 
Estakz
EstakzPosted 30-09-2024 04:12 PM

Hey @Catlover101

The reason as to why I don't like my friends that much is I don't really feel safe around them, and we don't usually see eye-to-eye on most things. As much as I would love to volunteer for causes I am passionate about... I don't really have any causes I'm passionate about 😅

But nonetheless, I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post. Thank you!

 
 
 
Catlover101
Catlover101Posted 07-10-2024 11:04 AM

Thats no good at all 😞 How do they make you feel unsafe?

Even if its not for a good cause just putting yourself ito any extra corricular can be a great way to make new friends. Whether it be sport, theatre, music, games. Try and find a community through a hobby.

 
 
 
Marimo-RO
Marimo-ROPosted 30-09-2024 07:35 PM

Hi @Estakz,

I'm really glad to see that you have been connecting in this community and have been open to the suggestions that have been pitched in this thread!

You've mentioned that you don't really feel safe around some of your friends and I'm wondering what this looks like for you?

 
 
 
 
Estakz
EstakzPosted 30-09-2024 07:49 PM

It's stuff like not being able to be myself around them, not trusting them when I share secrets or embarrassing stories, and I'm the one in the group who is usually picked on

 
 
 
 
 
Marimo-RO
Marimo-ROPosted 30-09-2024 09:03 PM

Hi @Estakz 

Thank you for sharing the experience you have with your current group of friends. Getting picked on and feeling unable to relax around your friends can make anyone stressed and frustrated. It's absolutely understandable that you are seeking a new group of friends and it's fantastic to see how proactive you are in getting to this goal.

I hope that some of the ideas that our community members have suggested have been helpful to you!

I wish you nothing but the best in finding a compatible group of friends!

Good luck!

 
LilacLeopard14
LilacLeopard14Posted 29-09-2024 04:24 PM

Hi @Estakz 🩵

 

it's so nice to meet you! I am sorry to hear you've been feeling increasingly lonely. I think it's quite common to know and hang out with a lot of people, yet still feel disconnected from them and therefore lonely. I think it's really great that you recognise that you don't trust or particularly like the people you are currently hanging out with and want to make new friends, because you deserve to be around people you genuinely like and who make you feel good.

I think Jazz_RO has provided some excellent tips for making friends. Are there any outside of school clubs or communities you could join or already participate in to meet people? Also, I understand your parents won't let you use discord, but are there any other ways you could meet people digitally? Perhaps brainstorming some ideas could give you some options to try. In addition, thinking of any hobbies, interests etc. you have which you might have in common with other people. I find bonding over a mutual thing can be the easiest way to open up to new people - even if it's super random! 

As for making friends, I think it's really the best thing to just be yourself!! We always hear this message, but I know I sometimes struggle with not being my authentic self in order to 'fit in' and get along better with certain people. However, the friendships I value most and feel the greatest from are the relationships where I can truly be myself. So I think as long as you are unapologetically yourself, you will find great quality connections in no time. I believe in you!

 

sending love and hope to speak soon 🫶🏻

 
 
Estakz
EstakzPosted 29-09-2024 05:15 PM

Heyo @LilacLeopard14 ,

It's nice to meet you too! Today I went to my local library and tried to meet some new people there, yet there was no one of my age group around 😔. I will definitely try to brainstorm some ideas and options, and try to get more hobbies and such as to be able to relate to more people. And I'll try to be myself more, not the version people want me to be. 

 

Accepting your love and thank you for your support😊

 
Jazz_RO
Jazz_ROPosted 29-09-2024 11:43 AM

Hi Estakz,


Thank you for posting and sharing what’s been happening for you, it shows a lot of strength in doing so and the community is here to support you.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling lonelier lately, and it’s understandable if you want to build some new connections with people that you trust and expand your circle. Meeting new people and making friends, isn’t always easy, so you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing and these feelings are all valid.


For suggestions on making new friends, you might be interested in checking out these ReachOut articles about loneliness and building friendships. Here is one article that provides tips on what to do when you feel lonely as well as this other article that gives ideas on how to make friends. You might also be interested in watching this video where a psychologist explains loneliness and how to connect with others.


Loneliness can be challenging and heavy to handle at times, and I am wondering what self-care looks like for you, particularly when you feel a bit more alone?


I look forward to your response 😊

 
 
Estakz
EstakzPosted 29-09-2024 05:09 PM

Hey @Jazz_RO ,

Thank you for your support and concern! I've gone through a bit of the articles you provided, and they were really beneficial. As to your question, whenever I feel lonely I usually play some games or watch videos to get my mind off of it, but those don't always work. If I'm feeling extremely lonely, I'll hug and cuddle my pillow, and that always soothes my nerves. But in recent times I started to replace games with things like working out (trying to gain more confidence). And yeah, that's pretty much my self care routine 😁

 
 
 
Spotrole
SpotrolePosted 29-09-2024 10:29 PM

Sorry to butt in here, but I just wanted to say @Estakz, I think it's great that you're chanelling that energy into working out.

On that topic, if you're already going to a commercial gym, have you considered striking up a conversation with someone there? You'd be surprised how nice people can be in the gym, even if they seem a little intimidating.

Definitely look into social or recreational sports clubs as well! There should be something similar wherever you are based.

If being physically active all the time isn't your jam, look into some clubs which you're interested in. For example, here's a list of chess clubs in NSW: https://www.nswca.org.au/chessclubs.php.

The last, and most important thing I want to say is be patient. You'll find your crowd sooner rather than later, but making close friendships takes time. When you end up becoming close with someone, it's often hard to pick out when that transition actually happened.

 
 
 
 
Estakz
EstakzPosted 30-09-2024 03:40 PM

Hey @Spotrole ,

Thank you for the advice! Unfortunately I do not go to a commercial gym and I do my workouts at home, but I did try and make plans to go to the gym with some people I trust (confirmation still pending). And I will try to be more patient, but it just feels like I've been waiting too long.

Welcome back!

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