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TW: Feeling like a nuisance

I'm not sure how to start but I writing helps me a lot. Just been in a live chat with someone from lifeline and they directed me to Reachout. I've been feeling like crap for a while now because of something that happened between me and another person. I've tried apologising but there's still no closure from them so it makes me feel really anxious about the whole situation. My whole mind has been foggy for so long now that I can't tell who I am at some points during the day and especially at night. There's moments in my life where I feel like cutting everyone out just to have some peace with myself but that's not me. I want to be around people and make the best memories I can make. I want to be able to vent to people but it just seems impossible, especially when you know that they probably have a more worse situation that they're going through by themselves. I try to go gym and work on myself to try and block out any noise in my head and feel good about myself, but at the end of the day it just collapses in on itself and feels redundant. I don't really have a good relationship with my parents as they are the root causes to my mental state currently. Growing up has been a struggle, trying to heal my inner child from trauma and abuse has been a lifelong struggle. I hope someone here has some form of advice to help me. It would be greatly appreciated. 

Mafish
MafishPosted 01-12-2022 11:38 PM

Comments

 
Sally_RO
Sally_ROPosted 02-12-2022 02:44 PM

Hi @Mafish, welcome to the ReachOut forums, it’s really great to have you here😊 Thank you for sharing a bit about your situation with us, it sounds like the incident with this person has been weighing heavily on your mind lately. I can see how not getting closure from this person would be really unsettling for you, especially when you have tried to make amends with them. I am wondering if you would feel comfortable sharing a little more about what has happened, so we can get a better understanding of the situation?

You mentioned that your mind has been feeling foggy lately, and this is particularly pressing for you at night time. I am wondering if you have found anything that helps to cope with this foggy feeling? I found some articles on managing anxiety and stress and coping with hard stuff, you might find some helpful tips in there. 

You mentioned that you want to be able to vent to people in your life, however this feels impossible for you when everyone else is dealing with their own situation. Venting can be a great way of helping you feel better, we even have an article on why talking helps here. I really wanted to point out that everyone has their own unique story, and you are just as deserving of help and support as anyone else. 

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment. Do you have anyone in your life supporting you through it all? I thought it might be worth mentioning that we also have a one-on-one peer-chat service available, if that is something you might be interested in. 

You have already taken some great steps towards supporting your well-being, which you should be really proud of yourself for. Calling lifeline and posting here, and trying to stick to a gym routine while going through something, are huge and not always easy steps to take!

 
Blueberries
BlueberriesPosted 02-12-2022 10:22 AM

Hi @Mafish

 

I just want to say thank you for becoming a part of this community! And we hope that you can continue to reach out for support here, as we really aim to make everyone feel safe and comfortable to vent! 😊

 

I’m so sorry to hear that things have not gone well with you and someone which I assume is either a close friend or significant other. Please tell me if I’m wrong though!

It really sucks having someone that you were once very close with, not willing to accept your apology and make it up to you. I guess if they’re not willing to accept it and make it up to you, then I think it’d be best to let them go and focus on the things that can keep you easily distracted from these thoughts.

But also, I wonder what has caused both you and that person to end up in a difficult situation like this?

 

It’s completely understandable that you want to be around people to make the best memories you can make with them, and I think lots of people feel the same way. 

 

You can always come here and vent - other than ReachOut, you can also use Kids Helpline as an alternative resource to be able to vent to a counsellor. ❤️

 

About going to the gym, have you tried listening to music with headphones on, or even watch a YouTube video while working out? I know it’s really hard to have all of these thoughts coming into your head, and you’re not the only one that’s struggling with this. But try not to be too hard on yourself. 🙁

 

Once again, I’m glad that you’ve decided to come and reach out for support! Try to remind yourself that it’ll be okay and hang in there! You are such an amazing person, and I’m very proud of you for overcoming these hardships ❤️

 

Blueberries xx 

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