cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Main content skiplink
Join an event. Happening today.

TW: im ruining my own friendships

recently ive started to feel like everyone hates me. my one close friend has been hanging out with other people and when i managed to get some of her time it just felt really awkward. i know my personality sucks and i judge people a lot, thats why one of my friends calls me a bitch. yesterday i opened my messaging app and saw that it looks like two of my friends have blocked me. one of them was my closest friend, unfortunately. i havent said anything to anyone over the school holidays except wishing them a merry christmas, making myself grow even further apart from them. i know this is all my fault and what happened is probably a build up of small things that ive done. i sent a really heart felt message to one of my friends asking her if id done anything wrong recently, because i wanted to know the exact reason they blocked me. she left me one read, so she must be angry at me too. even though a couple of days ago we were both celebrating the blahaj she got. im not sure when my ties to my friendship group started to fade but it must have happened around the time when two of my great friends announced they were moving schools. my close friend started hanging out with them to get the most out of their last months together. as a result i grew further away from those three, as they never included me in their conversations. so i started hanging out with the girl that called me a bitch and blahaj girl. the girl that called me a bitch has anger issues that she occasionally releases on two of us. its always us two and she is always so kind to everyone else. i know she needs an output for her anger but the other person always gets anger taken out on them because of how easy going they are, and how it seems like they dont mind. its so unfair on them but if i point it out the girl will just scream and get angrier. theres not much i can do right now, i think ive lost all of my friends and i wont enjoy this school year.

angriest_star
angriest_starPosted 09-01-2024 06:40 PM

Comments

 
Astra-RO
Astra-ROPosted 10-01-2024 04:56 PM

Hey @angriest_star, I just wanted to follow up from @Zig_RO's post to check in with you today- how are you going with everything? As Zig_Ro has said, how your friend is acting towards you is not okay. We were wanting to check in on your supports as well. Is there is anyone in your life that knows what's been happening for you lately, such as a trusted adult? We also wanted to confirm if you're feeling safe around this friend who has been calling you names and screaming at you?  We care about you and hope you are finding the community a safe and supportive place.

 
 
angriest_star
angriest_starPosted 10-01-2024 06:44 PM

hello astra RO, i feel quite nervous but not as bad as i was a couple of days ago. nobody knows whats been happening to me lately, and i dont feel comfortable telling anyone i know.

Spoiler
also i dont feel safe near the friend that screams at me, she used to hit me and im still a bit scared she might do that again, even though its been a while, and i asked her to stop.
 
 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 10-01-2024 07:49 PM

Hey @angriest_star I'm glad to hear that you're not feeling as bad as you were a couple days ago. I'm sorry that you haven't been able to connect with anyone yet about how you're feeling. It's really hard to not feel safe around someone who's supposed to be your friend and I'm glad that you felt comfortable sharing how you're feeling with us. I was wondering if there's anything you've been doing to look after yourself? Maybe listening to music or a hobby that you enjoy?

 

We've just sent you an email to check in around how you're going. Could you keep an eye out for that and respond when you get the chance? 😊

 
Carnation_Snail
Carnation_SnailPosted 09-01-2024 09:44 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you're dealing with complex dynamics in your friendships, and it's clear that you're feeling isolated and hurt. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, it is not a good feeling to be someones emotional outlet

 

I just wanted to see if you had any self care strategies to help you through this year?

 

Hope to hear from you soon💛

 
 
angriest_star
angriest_starPosted 10-01-2024 11:33 AM

hi carnation snail, im not sure what to do with myself because i dont enjoy much of what i used to. could you give me some suggestions for self care strategies? thank youu

 
Orchid_Mallard
Orchid_MallardPosted 09-01-2024 09:09 PM

Hey there angriest_star!

 

Seems like you got a complicated situation going on.

 

Loosing friends is always a difficult situation to handle. You won't be sure if  you are able to get back together as friends, or that you will just become an acquaintance or stranger. From my personal experience, I had several friends during high school that I was close to. But in the end of Year 10, we all split into different friend groups. And for myself, I was by myself most of the time until Year 11 that I found a group that accepted me.

While I can not suggest on what I might do in your situation, what I can say based on your post is that you do value your friendship with others a lot. Maybe try to think of ways to gain friends outside of the current friend group, like joining a club/community either from the school or through online?

Hope this helps you!

 
 
angriest_star
angriest_starPosted 10-01-2024 11:39 AM

thanks for your suggestions orchid mallard. i will try to talk to other people outside of my friendgroup. i am really socially awkward, and i look angry all the time, so this might take a while :')

 
 
 
Orchid_Mallard
Orchid_MallardPosted 10-01-2024 09:08 PM

Nah, thats alright. By taking the initiative on making friends either in the real world or online, you are already helping yourself in a more healthy way. As people say, slow and steady wins the race. But in terms of this situation, it would be slow and steady wins the friendship?

 
Zig_RO
Zig_ROPosted 09-01-2024 08:37 PM

Hi angriest_star,

 

I’m sorry to hear that you have been going through a hard time, it sounds like your friends mean a lot to you and you care for them deeply, you should be extremely proud of your dedication to them. It's also not easy coming online and expressing what's going on in your life, you should be very proud of yourself for your bravery. We are all here to support you. 

 

It can be difficult traversing friendship especially over the holiday period. I was wondering if maybe reaching out to family and other loved ones might be beneficial. 

 

It may even be worth trying to communicate with the friends you’ve mentioned again in a casual way to see how things are going? Or would you feel more comfortable connecting with them when you get back to school in-person? 

 

Everyone has the right to feel safe and respected within their friendship groups and yelling is never ok. It may be beneficial to sit down with your other friend to work out the best, and calmest way to communicate and set boundaries around your friend's anger - how you both are feeling, and what you both need from this friendship. 

 

In regards to returning to school, I'm curious to know if there is anything else you are looking forward to or hoping to gain from this year? Maybe a subject you're taking, a teacher you have, an event happening, or even a holiday you're going on.

 

It takes a lot for people to speak up about how they can be feeling and I just want to commend you again on joining our online community. Please know that we are all here for you! Please don’t be afraid to to reach out on the forums for support or any resources you may need, or even just a chat :))  

 

Hope to hear from you soon.

Welcome back!

Join the Community

ReachOut is confidential & anonymous.

8+ characters, 1 capital letter, 1 lower case letter and 1 number

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.