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a little advice please?
i've never posted on this before, but i'd really like some help.
to sum up what has been a horrid whirlwind of a day, a seemingly trusted friend (a friend i didn't even tell, i only told a friend and she found out) told my crush i liked her. we're both good friends with my crush, so she felt obligated to tell her. (btw crush is straight and i am decidedly not)
now i have class with her like first thing, monday morning. i don't know what to do. i don't know if she knows i know that she knows (that makes no sense). from what my friends have told me she was just worried about it affecting our friendship, which honestly, i am too (and she doesn't want to reject me wtf she's literally so sweet) she's just so nice and don't want things to be awkward, what should i do in class? there's no one else to sit with and she makes the class so much better like we have such a good time.
i'm not out to my family so i can't talk to them this weekend so being able to perhaps get some advice on here would be great 🙂
also like what do i do about the friend who told her???
Comments
Hi @augustlavender13 , well done on making your first post here, I can understand you wanting to reach out about this situation.
First of all, I'm sorry that this has happened to you, I can empathise with you feeling let down and awkward about this situation - it isn't nice when people are speaking about something that is personal and private to you. This person sounds like she would be understanding and wouldn't want to make things weird as you've described her as "sweet and nice".
My advice would be just keep being yourself (as cliche as it may sound), you were good friends before and there's no reason you can't be now, it seems she values your friendship the same way you do - so I think this is a positive!
How are you feeling about the situation as of now?
Hey @augustlavender13 ,
Welcome to the forums! I can hear you have probably found yourself in a bit of a whirlwind. Perhaps what happened was something that you really weren't expecting, nor ready for? (Please correct me if I'm wrong).
Friendships can be confusing things sometimes. I hear that you do not want what has happened to go between you and your friend, and now, having to face her Monday morning is a bit daunting?
I'm sensing that you think you will feel awkward, however, I'm wondering if this awkwardness is building up so that on Monday, it will cause things to be awkward? Sorry this may be a bit confusing. But I mean, by you feeling awkward (when they possibly won't be), things will actually turn out awkward?
Who knows? Maybe your friend will be totally cool about things?
One thing for sure, here's a tip sheet on how to tackle some of those more awkward conversations.
Do you harbour any bad feelings for the friend who told?
It's hard not to, but I messaged the friend who told Friday night and she apologised for everything and feels really bad, but no matter how bad she feels it not really going to fix what I now have to face!
I've messaged my friend who I have class with on Monday after talking it through with two friends, essentially apologising for the situation she was put in and I've now chucked my phone in a different room and distracting myself as much as I can!!
Thanks for the advice, it makes the piece of string of troubles that is tied up in hundreds of knots feel a little looser and a little easier to manage. Thank you ❤️
p.s it was completely out of the blue!! I didn't expect it at ALL!
Take one step at a time @augustlavender13 .
No one knows what anyone is thinking right now. As awkward as you feel right now, maybe they are feeling exactly the same.
It's good you were able to message your friend early on. I can see they were very apologetic.
Let us know how you go on Monday - we look forward to hearing from you!
Believe it or not, after I messaged her she was just the kindest and said that she honestly didn't think of me any differently and she really didn't want to lose our friendship. We actually studied in the library together at lunch and it wasn't awkward, at all. Thank you so much for your advice, next time life goes a bit pear-shaped it's nice knowing I've got this lovely community!
Hey! Welcome to posting on the forums! Thank you so much for having the courage to speak out about how you feel.
I can undertand that you are going through a touch time atm with your friend and her breaking your trust.. im so sorry that you are going through this tough time.
In my exprience confronting your friend, although scary is something that is really important, espcially if you value this friendship. If she did wrong by you, telling her how you feel and working out how to move past it is a really benfical way to have your feelings validated and working things out with your friend. And if she doesnt appericate your feelings, is she a really a good friend?
I know it can be so daughting confronting people in school but I think it will put your mind and ease and hopefully presents to your friend that she crossed a one of your bounderies and she wont do it again.
I hope you are okay and looking after yourself suring this tough time 💗 I hope it all resolves with your friend xx