I'm finding my way...
Independence. It can be something we long for. Something that scares us. A new or ongoing challenge. Whether you've moved out or moved away to work or study, getting your first after school job or even just saving up your money for something you really want or learning to budget then this discussion is for you.
There's lots of ways to be independent and also different reasons for it. For some it's something to work for, for others circumstances might make it a necessity. This independence can give you a sense of control, let you enhance your skills and learn to set goals. But with independence can also come a certain amount of responsibility and that can be tough to get used to. It could also impact upon your sense of self in a positive or negative way or even make you doubt yourself at times.
Join us on Monday 24th June at 8pm AEST when we'll be discussing being independent and the benefits and also difficult things that can come with it.
Some parts of growing up and moving out can be tough, what is hard about being independent?
The tough bits are like... when I was living on Austudy and living on 2 minute noodles and mashed potato! Budgeting can be hard... Um.. Having to cook and clean when you are really tired (oh waaaaa).... Not having back up funds and you get sick and need antibiotics....
I think we've partly covered this but: Being independent doesn't mean going it alone. Who supports you and who can you go to for help if things get tough?
Being independent doesn't mean going it alone. Who supports you and who can you go to for help if things get tough?
I wouldn't survive with the help and assistance (even just a hug) from my family and friends sometimes. I've had some people offer to help when I've become a little tight financially and others who are always there to listen.
But if it gets worse there's always organisations such as RO, lifeline, counsellors/psychologists (even places such as Headspace)- where you can talk about what's going on and what you could do next.
Well... I totally rely on a NETWORK of people to support me! Including family and friends... I also talk to professionals when I need to...
A good start if your not sure where to start is right here on RO.com, Kidshelpline (up to 25 yo) and Lifeline....
Some really good places to look for help are:
Centrelink Social Workers
Legal issues -"Lawstuff" Sooo much info there regarding becoming independent
And if you start to feel scared of a housemate or boyfriend or girlfriend, you can check out 1800RESPECT
Thanks for joining us everyone! It was great to hear your thoughts as usual! 🙂 Here's a quick summary of the discussion:
What independence is and means to us:
-For most of us, we like a bit of independence but whether we choose to still live at home or have already moved out we've all had different experiences. But even if you manage your own money or live out of home experience tends to show that we all need to have help from others sometimes and that's okay!
-Independence can mean things such as financial responsibility (so paying for the things you need or want-rent, food, etc.), maybe having your own transport or using public transport, having a job, sorting your own health care (such as having a Medicare card) and in general calling the shots in your own life.
Our experiences of independence:
-For several of us our first real taste of independence came from getting income from our first job and having more choice about how to spend our money.
-One big thing some of us hadn't been prepared for was the extra responsibility and organisation that comes with moving out- such as dealing with the costs, being on a lease, etc. For others it has been looking after a sick family member and having to pick up more responsibility around the house. Or even catching public transport for the first time and having to learn the ins and outs of buying a ticket and working out where to go.
The goods and bads of independence:
Positives:
-Freedom over certain parts of your life
-Getting to choose when to have appointments and make choices about your own health care, etc.
-The choice of eating dessert before dinner or just eating what you want when you want
-Having more space
-More self confidence/esteem
Negatives/tough parts:
-Learning to budget/be careful with your money
-Getting used to the responsibility of making your own decisions
Being independent doesn't mean going it alone. Some people/places we can go when things get tough or when we just need a little helping hand are: our parents, other family members, friends, organisations like RO and lifeline, Centrelink or other places in your area such as City Mission, Anglicare, we can see a counsellor or psychologist, talk to work mates, etc. There's always someone somewhere that can listen and give you advice.
For more on being independent: http://au.reachout.com/Wellbeing/Being-independent
Also that it's okay to have dessert before dinner at least once 😉
Some parts of growing up and moving out can be tough, what is hard about being independent?
I found it really hard when I was living out of home and renting having to pay for rent, bill, insurance, my car (petrol , insurance, rego) was very tough and still having to buy food to last that week that really sucked was very hard at first to budget.
What are the positives about being independent - that you have experienced or expect to experience?
The first thing that comes to mind is freedom to choose- what to do, where to go, what to spend your money one, etc.
I consider myself independent coz I provide for myself and make all the decisions about my life - but I rely on the input of the people that I care about as that just helps me make better decisions! Just like a politician or organisation will consult, so do I!
I'm 21, but I feel like I'm not independent enough. I still live at home with my parents who support me financially, and that's what works for me.
Hi Zara1206. I lived at home until I was 22.5 and only moved out because my family's situation changed and I wanted a change of scenery. But I think it's perfectly fine to still be living at home at at 21, if it works well then that awesome. It just means you've got time to save up a bit or better plan what your next move is! 🙂
It's interesting hearing everyone's views on independence in their own lives!
Next we're going to break that down a bit more:
What does being independent mean to you?
What are some of the things/circumstances someone might need to have independence?
What are some of the things/circumstances someone might need to have independence?
Independence to me is basically being in control of your life and making your own choices. So even if someone lives with their parents, they can still be independent as long as they have their own source of stable income and make their own choices in life.
Being financially stable is obviously something someone needs to be fully independent, but even the smallest things like being able to transport yourself to places you need to go means indepence (in that aspect of life).
@Exotic Turtle wrote:
Being financially stable is obviously something someone needs to be fully independent, but even the smallest things like being able to transport yourself to places you need to go means indepence (in that aspect of life).
Great point Exotic Turtle!
