Anxiety from new job
I started my new job 3 weeks ago. This is my first “real” job after graduating uni last year. The job is not what I expected and lately I’ve been battling the worst anxiety symptoms. I have always been an anxious person but since starting this job, these symptoms have manifested into physically debilitating symptoms. I wake up around 1-2AM every night in a panic, my heart is racing, I’m trembling and I am so nauseous that I constantly gag or end up vomiting. Every day after work I break down into tears and feel hopeless. I’m so depressed and I feel trapped in this job, I don’t know what to do. I’ve really tried to give it a go but I am so miserable. I’ve had one psychologist appointment through my EAP and they suggested I see my GP. I’m taking the rest of the week off so I can see my doctor and try to see what I can do. I feel so weak and like a failure that I can’t even stick to this job that I worked so hard to get.
Comments
Hey @Purple_Sea_Lion,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It can be disheartening when something we work so hard to get turns out to be so overwhelming. What you’re experiencing sounds exhausting, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling trapped right now.
Firstly, I want to acknowledge the initiative you've shown in reaching out to your GP and a psychologist through EAP. That couldn't have been easy and shows how committed you are to finding a way to manage these symptoms in a way that doesn't interfere with your everyday life. 💛
Taking the rest of the week off sounds like a good decision, giving yourself space to figure out the next steps. During this time, I'm wondering if there's anything you can do to take care of yourself? For me, I find that small acts of self-care help me feel more grounded. These can range from going on a walk outside to reading a book over a cup of tea.
All in all, I can hear you're trying your absolute best to navigate this, and that's something you should be proud of. Please know that the ReachOut community, including the Peer Chat service, is here to listen and support you. 💛
Thanks for sharing how you're feeling. I can totally relate to everything you're saying I have been through this myself and I want you to know you are not alone. Like others have mentioned, don't be so hard on yourself, you are trying your best and there will be plenty of opportunities in the future if this does not work out. Your health and wellbeing is more important.
Make sure you look after yourself and get some rest, some light exercise, some fresh air and sunlight and eat some good food. You will be ok 🙂
Hi @Purple_Sea_Lion !
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this, and I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is not a sign of weakness or failure. The pressure you're feeling, combined with the anxiety, is truly challenging, and it's okay to acknowledge that.
Starting a new job can be really stressful, especially when it doesn't align with your expectations. It’s important that you’re taking time to focus on your health right now, and seeing your GP is a good step toward getting the support you need. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve been through a lot, and prioritising your well-being is the right thing to do.
There’s no shame in not being able to continue in a job that is affecting you like this. Take the time you need, and remember that you are doing the best you can. You deserve to feel better, and I’m rooting for you to find the right support!
Thanks so much for your response. It's been really hard for me to finally accept that I need help. I come from a family where my parents don't necessarily believe in mental health. So it's been such a struggle to come to terms that I am not mentally doing well. I actually had my first breakdown in front of my parents when trying to discuss my job and how I'm feeling. My mum was understanding, however my dad just got up and left the room. I don't have much of a relationship with my dad (that's an entire story in itself) but I felt so embarrassed bursting into tears and a borderline panic attack in front of them. I'm worried about my job and how my TL's will think of me if I take more days off this early into the job and (I'm anticipating 2 more days off). Do you think it's acceptable that I get my GP to write a doctors note for me?
Hey @Purple_Sea_Lion ,
I wanted to start off by saying welcome to the community forums and thank you for sharing how you’ve been feeling here with us.
It sounds like the reality of this job is taking its toll on you and causing feelings of disappointment after you’ve invested so much effort and resources in working towards it. It’s understandable and normal to feel depressed and trapped when you can’t see a way out of a situation you don’t want to be in and yet feel forced to continue. I can see your strength in recognising that the path you're on right now is not working for you. You’re not a failure for realising that something doesn’t align and your feelings that something is wrong is valid.
You’ve done so well in showing up for yourself - taking the initiative to engage with a psychologist through the EAP, making an appointment with your GP and reaching out here in the community. It’s not easy acknowledging that you need help, especially after you’ve worked so hard towards a goal only to realise it didn’t match what you had in mind. I wonder if you’ve been able to practice any self-care activities or grounding while you’ve been feeling this way?
I want to encourage you to keep seeking the support you need and engaging in the community while you work out your next step. In the meantime, I’ve linked some resources to help with managing anxiety and if you’d like additional support. If you’d like to chat about how you’re feeling with a peer worker, we also have a free one-on-one PeerChat service.
