Coping with the loss of a pet
Unfortunately on Friday evening, one of my beloved cats, Misty, passed away suddenly at the age of just 10 from severe kidney disease. We knew he wasn’t well because he was losing weight and not eating, but we believed it was just a dental issue, he’d need a tooth extracted, and he would be just fine. But it wasn’t.
His kidneys were shutting down, and it turned out was causing him pain as well, and there was nothing that could be done for him. The vet recommended that we say goodbye.
I’m just really struggling with it because it feels so out of the blue, and because he was so young. And also because I feel like I minimised his health problems by assuming it was dental, so I feel guilty too.
I feel like it’s not real, like I’m in a dream, and then it all comes crashing back with regularity. My heart just feels so hollow, and I keep opening Google, thinking I can just search “how to bring my cat back” or a way to hit up God to tell him ‘my cat broke under warranty, will you fix him for me?’. But I can’t and he’s gone.
he was just the most special, perfect little cat and there will never be another like him.
I will always love you Misty ❤️
Comments
Hi @0wlGirl
I am so sorry for your loss! I swear sometimes losing a pet can hurt more than losing a loved one.
I lost my beloved family pet too, however this was when I was a child. We had grown up together and it turned out that he had cancer and we didn’t know until he passed at the vet clinic. So I completely understand the guilt and feelings of minimisation, I still feel guilty to this day and at times still struggle with the grief as he was my closest and oldest friend. I completely understand the hollow feeling. However, I can promise that over time you do begin to feel “normal” again! As much as I said I still grieve for my beloved Rexy (my family pet dog) I have found ways of coping and honouring his memory. Maybe I would suggest doing the same! Maybe print a photo of you and Misty or spend time in one of Misty’s favourite spots every now and then, this is what helped me feel connected when I felt hollow.
I really wish you all the best! And would like to send a virtual hug your way! 
Hi @0wlGirl , it sounds like Misty was the best cat and I'm so sorry to hear that he passed. I hope that you're doing a bit better now. I know losing a pet can be super hard and it just rips your heart to pieces. In times like these, its important to remember all the good memories you had together and be glad that you got to experience them rather than feeling bad you didn't make more or better memories. It sounds like Misty was well loved and was given a great life, and that's something important to remember as well!
💚
Hi @0wlGirl
Thank you so much for reaching out during such a difficult and painful time in your life. Losing someone you love so quickly is never easy and I truly hope that you find enough strength within, to be as gentle as possible to yourself during your healing journey 💜
Carrying guilt sounds so incredibly painful. You and your family did the best that you could with the knowledge that you had. You all love Misty dearly and had the best of intentions when seeking help from the vet.
I feel the love you have for Misty and was wondering if you'd like to share some of your favourite memories with him? (I would love to hear more about what he was like!) 💜
How have you been managing your grief? I wonder if you have a support system during this difficult time? Looking forward to hearing from you 🤗
I am sending you the biggest hug right now @0wlGirl
I have my own cat and she means so much to me. No one really knows how it feels to have a cat until you have one. They are the best hence my username hahaha.
You are grieving and that is normal. Its just a sign of how much you loved Misty.
I am so sorry it was such a sudden decline. You should not blame yourself. Noticing something was wrong is something to applaud yourself on. You are not a vet, there was literally no way you could have known it was to do with her kidneys.
Remember to practice self care in these more trying times and love yourself. Because Misty loved you 🙂
I'm so sorry for your loss @0wlGirl
I recently also posted about my cat, who had similar issues and passed away recently at the Vets. I just want you to know that the pain will ultimately get better, it's just the time that it takes 💜 I spent a lot of time surrounding myself with family and friends and my partner, and that ultimately gave me the support I needed to heal.
The online community is here for you, please look after yourself during this period of time. I'm so sorry about how sudden this has come to you 💜 thoughts and prayers
Hi @0wlGirl
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your pet cat, Misty; losing a pet is so hard. Please try not to feel guilty about assuming it was only a dental problem; you wouldn't have known his kidneys were shutting down; unfortunately, cats are pretty good at hiding medical problems from us. I know having him put to sleep would have been the hardest thing to do, but you were really brave.
It's so hard coming to terms with the loss of a beloved pet, I myself sometimes wish I could bring back my two little cherubs (both Chihuahuas), but there is nothing I could do which is heartbreaking so I can deeply resonate with how you feel.
What has helped me is spending time with my family and partner, and doing things I enjoy and practising self-care; it helped me process the loss of my pets but also ensured that I was taking care of myself still because we need extra care when we lose a pet. I also had the ashes of my two pets turned into comfort stones which has helped me a lot, I also made a little shrine dedicated to them in my room.
We're all here for you, and if you feel like you need further support, you could contact Headspace or KidsHelpline, for example, or maybe you already see a counsellor/therapist; talking about the loss of a pet does help in the grieving process. Also remember that everyone processes grief differently, and take as long as you need, just be extra gentle and kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel sad and cry, but also try your best to do positive/healthy things in your day too.
Sending you big hugs!
- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚
Hey @0wlGirl,
Thank you for sharing with us what you are going through and how you feel. I am very sorry to hear that you lost your cat, Misty 😣. Pets are a human's best friend, and I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. You have every right to grief, so take this time to be kind to yourself. You don't have to go through this time alone; this is a safe space, and we are here for you.
Surrounding yourself with your support network can be a massive help and a good distraction. Do you have friends who could support you through this?
Remember to prioritise yourself during this challenging time, and I look forward to hearing from you. We are all here to support you in any way we can.
Take care and be safe 😊💜
Friends are something I've always struggled with (my ability to burn bridges is a major character flaw), so no, not really. It's certainly a large part of why my pets mean so much to me. You can't get into fights with them and They just love you back indiscriminately.
It sounds like your pets are your greatest support system as they love you unconditionally and you don't need to experience the discomfort of conflict. I admire your vulnerability about your tendency to remove people from your life - I wonder if this was done for your own peace of mind, considering that you insinuated that conflict is more prone among people? 💜
I am wondering if you have any support system during this time? How have you been managing your feelings this week? 🤗
Hi @0wlGirl,
I want to start by thanking you for your post and sharing what's been happening for you recently. It can be a very challenging thing to share your journey on the forums especially when it's something personal and close to you. I want you to be proud of yourself for showing this strength this a difficult time and I want you to know that the whole community is here for you 🙂
I'm really sorry to hear about your recent loss, it sounds like your cat was a very special part of your life, I can't imagine how you must feel. I want you to know that it's ok to not feel ok during your time on this journey you are on, you're only human and it can take time to accept and heal. It's important to look after yourself in times of grief and I'm wondering what self-care might look like for you, and what activities or actions help you feel better when not feeling 100%.
Going through the loss of a loved one can be a really heavy and challenging thing, especially when alone. I'm wondering if you've been able to connect with r seek support from anyone around how you've been feeling. This could be friends, family, or professional support such as a counsellor.
I want to provide you with this article ReachOut has on Working Through Grief, which offers support on emotions you may be feeling during this time and ways you can support yourself as you traverse this journey.
Again I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved cat, from what I have read I can see you cared so deeply for them. The community is always here if you need support 🙂
