Family
My mum has bipolar. She recently kicked m dad out of the house so now its just her with us 5 kids. She works full time so she's constantly stressed out and grumpy. At the moment she is going through a low and its really hard on me and my siblings. She's attempted suicide before and that is really hard to deal with. I've tried talking to my bestfriend about it, but it's not easy considering she has depression. She says that when I'm in a bad mood it makes her depression worse, but it's not always easy to be in a good mood with everything that is happening. It's so hard being surrounded by all this everyday. I really miss my dad and I just know what to do sometimes. It feels like I'm stuck.
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I am having family problems and i dont want to go and see a cousellor about it, my teacher has been helping me though the tough times, when i was getting bullied to going though family dramas. its not all my family, its my mum, she gets mood changes she is angry at you for no reason than some time later she is trying to be your friend again, she gets angry at me for no reason and she wont let me speak and say if i didnt do anything, she yells at you than walks away, thinks if something else to say and comes back to you and starts all over again.. latly she has been threatening me and sometimes she hits me.. i told my teacher that i feel like running away but he said it was a bad idea, but most of the time it doesnt seem that bad of an idea.. I really dont want to be seeing cousellors even at school!!! what should i do about it now??? please help
Hi Floyd,
I'm not going to lie, you are in a difficult position. There is so much going on in your life that it would be hard for me to give you any advice that can solve all of your problems at once but because this forum is full of so many kind and compassionate people I am sure that anything overlooked by one person will be covered by another. So keeping that in mind I have one piece of advice for you which you can choose to acknowledge or not because as an outsider I cannot fully grasp the enormity of your struggles but I can relate them to my own life and what has worked for me:
From what I can gather from your post it may be unfair that those people are making you upset and then telling you that your mood is bringing them down when you can't contain all of those pent up feelings anymore. It is a vicious circle where everyone is too frightened to release their emotions and then they get built up and become bigger as a result. In my experience from dealing with the stress and worries or being with someone with a mental illness and coping with my own at the same time you have to break this emotional circle because due to it's nature you and the people you are trying to hide your feelings from will end up going nowhere.
I have had some success in sitting down with the people whose emotions affect me and who my own mental state influences and just telling them frankly that we can't just hide from the painful emotions. We have to sit and discuss them as rationally as possible or even taking turns venting them before the pressure causes us to explode because avoiding that which hurts us does no make it go away. My person relationships have become a lot stronger as a result of this and I hope that if you chose to try this method it has similar success for you.
Thank you for sharing, I know that it is never easy,
BennyC
Emails and telling a trusted friend helps me deal with my mum- she doesn't have a mental illness, but she has a highly stressful job, which makes her incredibly stressed. Emails help us avoid the blow ups that are inevitable if we talk about various issues directly and the friend helps mediate when things get too tough for us to figure out on our own. That might sound horrible and I obviously don't know anymore about your specific situation, but it works for us and makes us both feel heard. Even if the trusted adult you talk to can't help mediate, they can help you work out what you can change and how to deal with it.
I can realate as my dad has bipolar II. Hang in there!
Can you talk to another trusted adult, maybe a teacher or a counsellor? Maybe give your dad a call if he is of some support. You can call the Kids Help Line whose number you can find on this site. Maybe let them know that you need a break from what is going on right now. When my dad's moods were affecting me a lot I talked to my counsellor at school and she suggested I stay at a friends house for a few nights, whilst she let my friends parents know what was going on at home and why I needed a break and they were really supportive.
take care.
Hey,
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like this and it really sucks that you do feel like this. Are you able to speak to your dad at all give him a call, text or maybe even just catch up with him for a few hours?...
Are you able to speak to your mum about what is going on? You could give her lifelines number also, They also do online counselling between 8pm and middnight. 13 11 14.
You are right it is not easy to always be in a good mood, we all have our down days! Are you able to get out of the house at all? Catch up with friends, take some time out for your self?
Also you can speak to Kids Help line on 1800 55 1800 it's a free service and they also have online and emailing counselling. I hope that things improve for you.
Hi Floyd,
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, it soundus really tough.
I imagine it's hard for your mum now dealing with 5 kids on her own.
I can see how your best friend also suffering from depression would compound how overwhelmed you're feeling lately. I'd definitely recommend what CheekyOne has suggested - try giving Kids Help Line a call, they have qualified counsellors and they can talk you through coping strategies for yourself and also how to make things a bit better at home with your mum. Once *YOU* are feeling better, maybe recommend your best friend and mum call someone or see a GP also. Do you have any other friends you feel comfortable talking to? Or even your siblings - they're probably feeling a lot of the same things you are at the moment.
I'm sure you know this, but part of dealing with mental health issues and particularly bi-polar is getting into regular routines. It might help if you and your brothers and sisters can do what you can to try and make things run a bit more smoothly at home - so that when your mum is home outside work she can feel a bit more relaxed and you can all try to spend a bit more 'quality time together'. I'm sure it's as overwhelming for her as it is for you as well.
Here are a few links that you might also find helpful:
http://au.reachout.com/Caring-for-yourself-while-caring-for-others
http://www.copmi.net.au/kids-teens-young-adults.html
Good luck with it all, I know you can get through it 🙂
JD
