I have depression and i feel like a burden on my loved ones even when i reach out
I've had depression and anxiety for over a year now. I went to therapy last year and i was getting better. My situation at home and my relationship with my significant other was so strained because of my mental health issues that he chose to leave. So did my friends.
Last year we resolved things and i got back my friends and my significant other. However, my friends don't respond to me when i reach out for help and my partner gets frustrated. At the moment, i can't reach out for professional help either given how expensive it is.
I constantly feel like i'm a burden on my significant other because, although he constantly tells me he's there for me and i'm not a burden on him, he tends to get frustrated when i talk about the same issues over and over again. I understand my mental health takes a toll on him. I can't share anything with my parents since they're always worried and in primary care of my sister who's on the autism spectrum.
I don't know what to do. I feel really alone and helpless and i constantly have negative thoughts in my head.
Comments
Hey @swsabrina
Welcome to the the forums and thanks so much for sharing what's going on for you. It's definitely not easy reaching out so that was very courageous of you 
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I was going to link you multiple free or low cost mental health services, but then I noticed you're not in Australia. I'm unfamiliar with mental health services in your area/country, but it might be worth google searching "free counselling [insert country]" or "helpline [insert country]" and seeing what pops up for you. It might also be worth seeing your local doctor and asking them about affordable mental health services in your area .
Regarding your boyfriend/ friends, it's a tricky situation. Reaching out for help to only get shut down must be hard to deal with and is probably making you feel quite alone at the moment. I can see how that would be really difficult for you. It's possible that your boyfriend DOES want to help but is not coping with all of it. I'm guessing he's not a trained professional. I'm sure he does care about you and can be there for you from time to time but maybe he's struggling to be there as often as you'd like.
In instances like this it's sometimes good to talk to multiple people about what's going on. It might be good to see an affordable professional in your area as they're trained to listen and will probably help you more than your boyfriend can. And they can provide you with actionable tips and coping strategies. If you're studying it might be a good idea to look into mental health support options at your school/university. Even if you aren't studying you can usually access cheap psychology sessions from provisional psychologists at universities (at least in Australia you can). I'd also recommend looking into support groups for depression (they're usually free/low cost in Australia). I know you don't want to upset your parents, but talking to them could also be an option.
In short, it might good to get some extra help in addition to your boyfriend. And to be honest, you've already done this by posting on here - a peer support forum. So hooray to you 
. Is there a forum similar to this in your country? I ask this because, unfortunately, this forum is only suitable to Australians as mentioned in our community guidelines here. I have sent you an email about this and will most likely have to ban you account in 24 hours (Sorry!). We'll leave this thread open for 24 hours as well so that you can receive some support during that time.
Side note - if your boyfriend is NEVER helpful then it might be worth talking to him about this and telling him about how it's negatively affecting you. You do deserve to be heard and listened to. Wishing you good luck with all of this
