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Just needing some advice

First time reaching out I’m a 20 year old male I work full time and don’t have meany friends and don’t have a good or really close ones I find if hard to connect with people my age because I’ve don’t so much with my life in regards to financial independence I haven’t had any serious relationships I’ve had a few one night stands and I just feel empty I have no joy in my life and I feel trapped I’ve got no one and I feel like there’s no point to it all 

just looking for some help/advice 

Johnathon
JohnathonPosted 26-11-2023 08:12 PM

Comments

 
sage_wombat
sage_wombatPosted 27-11-2023 11:42 AM

Hey @Johnathon 

 

I just wanted you to know you are definitely not alone! I have been through this myself and also have known many people that have gone through this issue before. It may not always seem like this but it is unfortunately very common for people in their late teens and early twenties to feel this way. When we were in school we were basically forced to be around others for at least 6 hours a day and therefore made friendships easily, unfortunately as adults it is a bit harder and we have to put in more of an active effort to do these things.

 

I understand you work full time so it is also hard to find time to meet people. I'd recommend finding something youre interested in or trying out something new and joinign a group/club around that. I know it can be scary at first but people in these groups are generally very open and welcoming and are a good way to meet new people and make lifelong friends. Do you enjoy any sports or arts or any other sort of activity you could join a group for? I see you mentioned you have a nice car, maybe you could join a car meet in your area, most places generally have at least one car meet group running once a month/week. 

 

Another idea would maybe be to go on trip by yourself, it may seem scary at first but if you book a holiday you may find yourself making friends, backpackers resorts are a great place for this!

 

I hope everything goes well for you! good luck with making friends!

 
 
Johnathon
JohnathonPosted 27-11-2023 11:40 PM

I live in the middle of no we're so there not a lot going on I've gone on trips before and it just makes be feel worse we I get back home 

 
Chloe-RO
Chloe-ROPosted 26-11-2023 10:12 PM

Hey @Johnathon ,

 

Thank you for posting and sharing how you are feeling at the moment. From what you have described, it is understandable that you feel trapped. I hear that you don't have many friends or close friends, and you don't yet have financial stability. 

 

I'm interested to understand what you'd ideally like to see in your life. Sometimes, it can be very disheartening to see others move on in life while you yourself remain 'stuck' in one place. Please know that this is not uncommon. Many people have similar experiences where they look around and see so many people progress in life, and comparing themselves, they think they haven't done anything. Yet, consider where you were 5 years ago. Are there aspects in your life where you have progressed?

 

I'm also curious to know how long you have been feeling this way. If it is for an extended period of time, it may be worthwhile speaking to your GP about it. There may be other factors causing you to feel this way. Speaking to a GP or professional may give you more insight into what is happening.

 

At the same time, so you have someone you trust to talk to? e.g. a family member or therapist? Talking to someone may not solve things, but it can help you feel better to know that you are not alone. 

 

If you feel you want to speak to someone, you can call:

Beyond Blue 1300 224 636

Lifeline 13 11 14

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

 
 
Johnathon
JohnathonPosted 26-11-2023 11:23 PM

I've gone quite well in regards to money I e got a nice car and a house i have got a therapist i speak to her once a fortnight and I still feel alone I've got no one amd I feel like I've got nothing even know I've good a good amount of money and assets

 
 
 
Nymeria-RO
Nymeria-ROPosted 27-11-2023 01:17 PM

Hi @Johnathon, thank you for replying.

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. Working through loneliness is a challenge I'm sure a lot of people on ReachOut can relate to. It can be frustrating when some aspects of your life are going really well and other parts that matter aren't. It's great to know you're financially independent, it would've taken a lot of drive to get to where you are now. 

It's great you're seeing a therapist too. Dealing with these feelings isn't easy but talking about them with your therapist can really help to manage them and take meaningful steps.

I'm curious if you've been able to foster any close relationships in the past, maybe in school or a family member? It can feel a little unfamiliar seeking out new relationships once you leave school and I'm wondering if you've taken any steps towards meeting new people or managing loneliness?

 
 
 
 
Johnathon
JohnathonPosted 27-11-2023 11:38 PM

I really struggle with getting girlfriends and just friends in general I was homeschooled so I haven't got any long term friends of people I really know there's one girls I quite like and I spend a lot of time with her but o don't think she feels the same way about me as I do 

 
 
 
 
 
Nymeria-RO
Nymeria-ROPosted 28-11-2023 01:20 PM

Hey @Johnathon 

I noticed you mention you live in somewhere remote, that can certainly make things more difficult. It might help to read about some things you can do when you're feeling lonely. I'm glad you've found someone you connect with and it's nice to hear you're spending a lot of time together. What are your thoughts on potentially communicating your feelings toward her? Have you had any recent thoughts about ways you might find new friends?

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