Loneliness and overwhelming feelings
Hello 🙂 this is my first post on here and I’m a little anxious to write all this as I haven't been able to express my emotions properly to anyone before.
I’ve been feeling really lonely, it’s a feeling I’ve dealt with before since a young age. I just turned 21 a few weeks ago and I’m still navigating through my life but at times I wonder if I’ll ever meet someone who makes me feel cared about, whether it be a crowd/group of friends or someone special.
writing all this makes me feel pathetic because at this age I feel like I should have at least someone I can turn to but I feel like I don’t have anyone to converse with, let alone people who understand how I feel.
my mum belittles my feelings a lot so I’ve given up on trying to talk to her about my feelings, I’ve tried to talk to my dad but he doesn’t acknowledge me, my sister is always out, my friends brush me off. As you can tell, I don’t have a very stable relationship with my family altogether. I’ve tried multiple times throughout my life to reach out to my family and friends but it’s been the same outcome and I’m tired of it.
I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety at the age of 12, my childhood consisted of bullying and I really had no protective figure growing up.
A few days ago something happened that made me feel abandoned by my mum and family. I don’t want to yap about it too much but it was the first time I felt like this and it made me convinced that they probably wouldn’t even bat an eye if I anything would happen to me.
with no one to talk to, I feel alone and with my mum taking her anger out on me (verbally), it makes me feel insecure. And I will admit I’m a sensitive person, I feel things maybe a little too deeply.
I know I’m a kind hearted person no matter what my mum or family says about me. But some days their words beat me down and I try so hard to keep it together and to keep going but feeling lonely and having no one to talk to makes it extremely difficult.
It makes me wonder if I’m ever going to be good enough, if I’ll ever feel cared about, if I’ll be able to feel safe.
When I try to attempt to talk to my friends and family about my feelings, I get belittled, ignored or they’ll “listen” but a second later they’ll go on their phone or watch tv. It makes me feel like a burden.
and I still feel like a burden even talking about all this despite this being a community where you can vent freely.
There’s a lot of overwhelming emotions in me right now. I’m battling with a lot of insecurities and thoughts.
I feel a little silly talking about all of this. It almost feels foreign to me despite speaking to countless of therapists and counsellors over the years. There’s still so much I want to talk about.
Thanks to whoever’s reading this. I hope your days going better than mine ❤️
Comments
Hey, first of all, I’m really glad you decided to post here and share what you’re feeling. It’s not silly at all—it takes a lot of courage to open up, especially when it feels like no one around you is truly listening.
I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this kind of loneliness for so long, and it sounds like you’ve been trying to connect with people. It’s tough when the people closest to you don’t offer the support or care you deserve. Feeling like you’re not being heard can be so disheartening, especially when it’s your family or friends.
You’re not a burden, and your feelings are completely valid. It sounds like you’ve been carrying so much by yourself for a long time. Please remember that you are worthy of love and care, and there are people out there who will appreciate you for who you are. We’re here to listen.
-D_D 💜
Hi @keroppi
I just wanted to say that it's crazy how heavily I resonate with this. Having people around you but feeling disconnected and unsupported by them is hard, especially when your close family is involved who you'd wish would be there for that unconditional support. I've also had some moments recently where I might bring something up with my mum, and just get shot down or hit with the classic guilt treatment, and it does hit you with that existential dread bc you kinda wish you had that closer connection with your family. But yeah just know that you're definitely not alone in this, and the fact that you're willing to reach out here and articulate your points so well shows that you have the resolve and willingness to move through this period, I believe in you 🙏
I'd also heavily recommend using the forums here regularly as well. It's tremendously helped me in feeling supported and loved, which helps to combat those thoughts of having no one to talk to which I get can be so crippling.
Just make sure to keep searching for those connections. I get how it can get demoralizing having so many unsuccessful attempts at connecting with those around you, but I promise you there are people who will love you for you, all the struggles included. Keep reaching out on here and to people you haven't tried talking to yet. You just don't know who might surprise you.
Keep being awesome, I wish you all the best 🙏
Hi,@Mint_Crane
thank you for your kind words, it feels very reassuring and comforting to know that I'm not alone. It's definitely difficult when you feel so disconnected from those close to you and It's especially hard when they're supposed to give you the support and love you deserve but instead you get shot down and belittled.
My mum does the same, she has quite the temper at times and says things that she doesn't mean but it still hurts a lot. It's hard to sit with those emotions because these words or actions are coming from a person who is supposed to care for you. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a similar situation.
thank you for your advice! I'm happy to know I'm not alone and being in a wonderful community makes me feel seen and heard; and I think that's so important for anyone's mental wellbeing and state of mind.
Thank you so much, I hope you're doing well. Treat yourself kindly today 🫶🙏
Hi @keroppi 💛
I just wanted to say that I am sorry for how the people in your life are making you feel — you don't deserve to be brushed off or belittled or made to feel like you're a burden.
I think it's clear from even your words on this page that you're a kind hearted person, and I am glad that you know that and that you haven't let the world turn you cold despite the hard cards that you have been dealt.
I am sending so much love to you — and, if you would like to, please do keep us updated on how you are and any thoughts that are on your mind and that you want to share.
Hi,@HappyApples !🩷
thank you for your kind comment. I don't know why I started to tear up while reading that!
Thank you! I'm sending you just as much love and support🩷
Hi @keroppi
Thank you for reaching out. Your post was so eloquent and well put.
Please don't feel silly for your extremely valid emotions. What your going through sounds very tough. Loneliness is so difficult and isolating and it can be so hard to meet new people and make deep and meaningful connections.
Are you currently studying or working? I know at my uni there are hundreds of clubs to join which are great ways to meet new people. I understand amazing friendships don't occur overnight, they take time and effort, but that is a great place to start.
In regards to your family relationships, I am sorry you are going unheard. I too have delt with this and from grey rocking (disengaging), to screaming matches nothing seemed to help. You know yourself better than anyone, do not let their words affect you.
Have you tried maybe talking to them not about just your general feelings, but your relationships with them?
In my toughest of times, I wrote a letter to my parents expressing how I felt about them and how they treat me and it was honestly a catalyst to some major relationship growth between us. It is maybe worth a try.
Stay positive, stay beautiful. You are doing amazing and I hope that your day is going well
Hey there, I just want to say you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. It’s really brave of you to open up about your emotions, especially when it’s been tough for you. You absolutely deserve to be heard and to feel cared for.
I get that navigating loneliness can feel so heavy, especially after dealing with it for a long time. Turning 21 is a big deal, and it’s totally normal to think about your connections and friendships. It’s really hard when the people you want to lean on aren’t there for you in the way you need, especially when family can sometimes add to that stress.
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your shoulders for a while now, and that’s completely understandable. Feeling sensitive just means you have a big heart, and that’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
When you mention feeling like a burden, please know that your feelings are totally valid. It’s not silly at all to talk about them! You deserve a space where you can share what’s on your mind without feeling judged. Seeking support is a strong move, not a weak one.
If your current friends and family aren’t giving you the support you need, maybe it’s worth exploring new connections. There are online communities and support groups that can be really helpful, where you can find people who get what you’re going through. It might take a little time, but there are definitely folks out there who will appreciate you for who you are.
Just remember, you’re not in this alone. Your journey is important, and it’s okay to reach out for help when you need it. You deserve kindness and understanding, both from others and from yourself. Thanks for sharing how you feel, and I really hope brighter days are ahead for you!😊
@keroppi , hi and welcome!
Thankyou for being so vulnerable and for sharing this with us, what you've described here is something that I definitely relate to in a few different ways. It sounds like you've been having some really overwhelming feelings lately, especially around feeling lonely and burdensome.
I've been feeling a bit this way lately myself. I'm not sure how similar this is to your experience, but I've been feeling recently like it's a bit tricky for me to properly connect with and be emotionally close to the people in my life, which can start to feel really isolating and lonely after a while. You're absolutely not alone in these feelings.
I can see that there are some great suggestions here already from @Zig_RO and @Lapis_Anteater around potential professional supports and online communities that might be helpful. I'd like you to know that you are absolutely not a burden, and your feelings are not a burden either. You deserve to feel safe and loved and cared for, and you absolutely are good enough, just as you are 💗.
The RO community is here for you, I hope you find a some comfort here. You mentioned that you've got more to say, and I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that i'd love to read along if you'd like to post something more. Thinking of you and sending lots of good vibes your way 💗.
thank you so much for your words, you're very sweet c:!!
I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in these feelings, it makes me feel a lot less alone. I understand your emotions, I've been feeling that way too. I find it difficult to emotionally connect with those in my life, especially family members. Sometimes I wonder how it actually feels to have a healthy relationship with my family.
thank you again for your words! You deserve just as much love and I hope you're doing great and I hope you find something happy to smile about today!
sending you just as much love and support💞🎀
Hi @keroppi,
I want to start by thanking you for your post and welcoming you to the online community! it's very amazing to see that you've found this safe space to share what's been happening to you. I want you to know that the community is here to support you 🙂
From what I have read, I can see that you've been feeling really alone lately, especially when it comes to friends and family. feeling alone can be a very challenging thing to experience in life, and I'm sure many community members, as well as myself, can agree just how proud of yourself you should be for taking these steps towards your own well-being.
Feeling pathetic and feeling like a burden can be very strong feelings to have, and it often can make you feel like you have no worth. I want you to know that no matter how hard you try, you will never be a burden. It's important to remember that you are only human, and every feeling you have is valid and worth being heard, none of it is on you or your character.
On top of this having feelings no matter your age is always valid, and you should never feel as if you are pathetic or undeserving of feeling a certain way. You also have the right to have your feelings heard without judgment and this can be challenging when feel unheard from family and friends however it doesn't minimise the worth of your feelings.
I'm wondering if you have any other family members you can reach out to, or even professional support such as a counsellor?
I can also see that you've recently had an experience with your mother that left you feeling abandoned by your mother, and I'm really sorry to hear about this. From what I have read, I can see that you believe you're a kind-hearted person, and I want to commend you on this. It can be hard to keep positive thoughts after such an experience, and to see that you are able to maintain the self-worth you deserve is so powerful and inspiring. I want you to be so proud of yourself 🙂
I want to provide you with a link to 11 tips for if you are feeling lonely which is an article Reachout has on loneliness, as well as a link to PeerChat if you would like to talk to a Peer Worker 1 on 1 for support.
Again i want you to know that the community is here ti support you and i look forward to seeing how your journey progresses. Please be on the lookout for an email we'll be sending you.
Hope to hear from you soon 🙂
Hey @keroppi
Sounds like you’re going through a lot. Feeling alone is so difficult. It’s understandable to be struggling with it. Especially considering that this has been going on for a while.
Going through bullying must have been really difficult. It can definitely impact the relationships you form later on in life. I’m sorry your mum and family made you feel abandoned. It becomes really hard to believe that people care about you when they don’t demonstrate it through their actions. It’s not fair for your mum to take her anger out on you. You don’t deserve it.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive. Some of the best people are. Honestly, it’s a really endearing quality. It shows that you care deeply. As you’ve said, you have a kind heart. That’s what really counts. You are good enough and you will find people that value you. It just may take a bit more time. You are not a burden. Especially not within this community. We are all more than happy to listen to you.
It’s really important to have people that you can talk to. It doesn’t sound like your friends and family are doing a sufficient job. Would you be interested in talking to a therapist or a counsellor again? There’s also always places like kids’ helpline where you can get some one-on-one support. They can help you find ways to manage your understandably overwhelming emotions.
Hello, @Lapis_Anteater
thank you so much for your words, I appreciate it a lot.
I've had experiences with hotlines before but they weren't very reliable unfortunately. However, I'm going to see my GP soon and I'll book an appointment with a therapist as soon as possible because I don't know how long I can manage these overwhelming emotions.
thanks again for your words and advice! c:
Hey @keroppi
They can be a bit hit or miss unfortunately. I think it depends on who you get. Seeing your GP and making an appointment with a therapist sounds like a good plan. It’s really to hard to do it on your own. I hope you can find the support you deserve!
