Moved Post: Drugs and a Boyfriend
Okay, so I'm 18 and I have been in a relationship with the man of my dreams for a little over a year now and I have known that he used to do drugs before he met me. He told me he only used to do weed and little drugs like that. It wasn't until roughly three months into our relationship that he rang me one morning crying for me to not break up with him because he had tried cocaine during a party he attended.
I told him it was okay and I was not going to break up with him but I enforced the idea that if he gets addicted I will break up with him. He told me he only tried it because he was curious and he just wanted to see what all the hype was all about. Now its 10 months later and we had an argument today about it. He complains I wont let him do hard drugs because I don't trust them and I actually listened to warnings my parents and PDHPE gave me in school. I am okay with him doing weed occasionally because I know its not as bad as other and I cant control him completely.
Anyway, so I told him I do not feel comfortable with him doing that especially when I'm around. He comes back with, "So its okay for you to get drunk when we go out but its not okay for me to take drugs. Not even MDMA?" One, I don't know what MDMA is so I said no unless he tells me what it is, what it does and how Long it lasts.
These arguments have happened a few times over the past year and I feel that they are becoming more frequent.
Am I being over protective or am I in the right? I told him drinking is bad, yes but it isn't as bad as drugs. mind you it is completely legal and any form of drug in Australia is completely illegal. It doesn't help that his mates smoke it and unfortunately I'm dating a guy who hangs around those kind of people. I made a promise to myself in school that I would never do drugs or hang out with people who do.
I don't want to lose him even though he says he's not the type of person to get addicted and because he hates alcohol he chooses drugs. I need help and advice. I love him so much and I don't know what to do.
Comments
Also @Chloe_027 have just moved your post into the "getting help" section of the forums so it gets more traffic from the community in order for you to gain more peer support 
Hey @Chloe_027 thanks heaps for sharing your story I think it's really good to jump online and seek some support from like minded peers - well done!
Sounds like a mix between being protective of your BF and also your own personal values around drugs, is that right? It's a super tough one. If you wanted to know a little more about drug use we have a great article here that could help clarify the different types.
Alcohol and MDMA are both drugs. Alcohol you're right is totally legal, and mdma is not. But both in excess can do a lot of damage. Are you concerned about how regularly he is taking them? The way he is taking them? Or just generally worried because it's not a legal drug in Australia? How would you feel if he only drank alcohol and didn't do drugs?
Sorry for all the questions but it can be helpful while we try our best to support you to get a little more info 
hope to speak to you soon.
Hey, thank you for that. I am worried about him taking it. He doesn't take them very often but when he does I am worried that one day he is going to get addicted and I will have to end the relationship which is something I do not want to do.
He does not like alcohol which is why I am always drinking and he drives when we goes out. He doesn't seem to have a problem with me drinking until he brings up how much he wants to do drugs. I don't know if he is the kind to not get addicted but what I do know is how much these drugs can ruin a life. I don't want him to ruin his life and ruining me along the way.
He knows they are illegal but that wont stop him.
Hey @Chloe_027 yes it sounds like you're very protective and concerned which is a wonderful thing. It's important to note both alcohol and mdma can be equally misused and also both can be highly addictive.
There was a study in a few years ago that actually determined a number of professionals agreed with the statement that ecstasy (mdma) was, on the whole, safer than alcohol. However other studies have shown that alcohol is at least regulated and legal which in turn means it should be safer. So definitely a hard one when both of you have a bit of research to back each choice. I suppose the main thing is that you're both open and honest and keep communicating - would you and your BF consider a sit down over a coffee/lunch to have a talk about how to move forward together on your differing views?
Relationships can be wonderful, but we don't always need the same perspective; I suppose the main thing is figuring out a way to compromise and move forward together. What are your thoughts? 🙂
Hey! I too am not an expert on the area of drugs but I have seen my friends suffer through similar things. In my opinion it comes down to the respect you two share. I think the reason alot of people do not want those they care about doing drugs because of how much we care about them. I think you are in the same position! And also because they can have different effects on different people, we can not control the outcome. I do not think you are being over protective as you are only being this concerned because you care, but he should also be able to respect you enough to not argue about it as its only because you care for him so much.
Sorry if this isnt much help. Hope things work out 🙂
Thank you. You have helped a bit. At least now I am a little more certain of my defence on his reaction to my thought on him taking hard drugs.
