My boyfriend cheated on me
I found out yesterday that my bf cheated on me 2 months into our relationship. Now we are at 4 months and I found out and asked to break up. He asked for a second chance Idk what to do I'm very depressed, angry and disappointed.
He said it was only a kiss with only lips while he was drunk and didn't even remember it but I feel he is lying. I found out through one of his chats with this girl and the way both of them talked made me think that it was more than a kiss. She said he was perfect, made her feel special that night and made her think he was the one. How she wished for him to be her boyfriend and have a future with him despite being someone else's boyfriend (my). And then he said "I do not regret anything except the Circumstances".... That broke me.
I don't know what to do, this is my first relationship, he's been my first everything... My first boyfriend, my first date, my first kiss, my first time. I am his third girlfriend. I feel so tiny, in 4 months he has already cheated on me while his other relationships lasted both a year... I feel insignificant and sad, very betrayed but I hate and I love him...
I don't know how to handle this!! I really don't.... I am conflicted on giving him a second chance or not.
He cheated when he went away and he is visiting again for Christmas, very likely going to see the girl again... I hate this, I hate him and love him ans hate me for being so stupid and emotional!!
Comments
Hi there @Bluebutterfly
I'm hearing you're experiencing a range of emotions, and feeling confused, depressed, angry, disappointed, sad and insignificant about the situation. It sounds like you have a lot of feelings for your partner, and have had a lot of trust in him, and that this situation has really had an impact on you and made you question things. I hear you're finding it difficult to handle and decide upon with all the new information you're finding.
As Marimo-RO stated, there are lots of services available that you can reach out to such as ReachOut PeerChat, Beyond Blue, and Kids Helpline is another one too.. And talking to family/friends/people closest to you can also be helpful.
This sounds like a really big betrayal for you and you're finding it difficult to navigate. I'm wondering if you would think it's possible to move on from these difficult feelings associated with this situation and person in the future? Or if staying with your partner may continue to leave you with these feelings you've described?
How are you feeling about the situation now, now that a few days have gone by?
Remember to look after yourself during this difficult time too, what activities do you have in place tht you could potentially do for self-care? What things normally help you through a difficult time like this?
Best wishes @Bluebutterfly
second chance, he has been honest and confessed absolutely everything and
although the details are very painful to learn about I prefer knowing all
the truth. We have made a plan, and we decided to try again. I have been
very hurtful to him but he understands that it comes from tje pain of the
betrayal and accepts it as his fault.
I've decided to try again because I love him, his betrayal made me feel a
lot of hate too but I want to try and fight for our love so that if in the
end things don't workout I will be at peace for trying and not left with a
bunch of "what if?" ...
We are taking it slowly one step at a time, it's difficult and may take
time but we are trying... I hope to figure this out whether to finish it
all of with him or to move forward as a couple.
Writing has helped a lot, and also music.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my feelings and caring
enough to respond, really, I appreciate it a lot ☺️
I can feel you. The first time is very difficult, emotional and special. But it is also when we make mistakes or learn from that relation.
I don't want you to just hold onto the relation just because it's first time.
Notice how he is behaving with you, do you see any changes? When you are comfortable ask him about what he thinks of that girl.
From the messages you read, the girl is showing to your bf that he is special to her. But what were your bf's responses? Are they similar to how he would reply you?
Talk to him about your feelings and concerns. Don't overthink, it's better to keep things clear and let it out.
Remember, You are Beautiful, Amazing and Wonderful person.
Giving you a Hug 🤗
Hi @Bluebutterfly,
Welcome back to the ReachOut Youth Community. I can see how heartbreaking and devastating it was to find out that your boyfriend cheated on you. I want to let you know that it's never okay for anyone to cheat and that it's natural you feel angry, betrayed and disappointed. Seeing that this is your first relationship as well, it's understandable that you feel unsure on what to do.
I can see that things are quite raw at the moment and I'm wondering if you've had a chance to talk to someone you trust about what has happened?
We have some resources that may be helpful to you. Here's one on how to cope with being cheated on. We also have a PeerChat service where you can talk one-on-one with a peer worker who may have had a similar experience. If you're seeking counselling support, Beyond Blue can offer free 24/7 counselling over the phone or online.
We will also be sending you an email to check in on you, please keep an eye out for it!
I hope you're able to find the support you seek here!
