TW: Im spiraling and cant fix this life
I have BPD and ASD. a few months ago i lost all my friends. through circimstance i managed to make 1, but i have since lost them as well due to my codependency issues. im trying so hard to improve myself but my area lacks the rescources i need. getting help is so difficult. and my city isnt very socialble so making new friends here is near impossible. i feel as if due to my past truma and how i was raised and all my other issues i am forever unloveable and forever broken. its getting so hard to live like this. and i am so scared that this will be forever cause my mental healh has been so bad for the majoity of my life. im 22 and this has been all that my life is.
Comments
HI @Ravel
I am so sorry you are feeling like this. You are NOT unlovable or broken.
It is really difficult to make new friends organically if nothing in your life acitivity wise has changed. Have you tried joining any local community groups likes sports clubs or volunteering for something you are passionate about? Those are ways I made some new friends. It is crazy how immersing yourself in things you enjoy can open up opportunity to meet like minded people.
What sort of activities to you like?
I am sorry you have lost your previous friends. I have been through that process myself and it is unfortunate and lonely. But it will not last forever. Remind yourself of all your own amazing traits and remember that people would be lucky to have you as a friend.
Friendships dont occur overnight though, it will take time and effort to form new solid connections, but enjoy the process of meeting new people!
I think as much as I like to believe its not true, not everyone is going to like you, and that is also okay. Rejection is normal, there are probably people out there you don't get along with super well and its ok for people to feel the same way about you, just remind yourself that each person is different. If someone doesn't connect with you that does not mean the next person you interact with won't. It does not mean you are not a good friend or unlovable it just simly means you weren't that exact persons cup of tea!
If this is really affecting your mental health I would recommend seeking professional psychological support to try and ease these negative feelings.
You are doing amazing, and you are loved.
Hi @Ravel
I want you to know that I see you, I hear you; I can resonate with a lot of what you have written in your post. I am so proud of you for opening up and being vulnerable with us all here on Reach Out.
I am truly sorry to hear that you have lost all your friends; losing a friend, or all our friends, can make us feel so many emotions; maybe you can relate to feeling isolated, lonely or upset because of it happening. I myself have ASD, and I have always struggled so much with making and keeping friends; I, too, have felt incredibly lonely and upset from losing friends.
I used to live in a rural town in Australia, and it was very isolating, we severely lacked important resources for mental health, and making friends in a small town was hard, especially being someone who has ASD and is Transmasc. I highly recommend utilising online resources, like you already have by coming here on Reach Out, or even online Headspace.
If you are interested, there is an app called 'Spoony', which is an online community platform that connects neurodivergent, chronically ill and disabled folk from all across the globe. Maybe you will find a great sense of community on there and also make some friends who understand you 😊
- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚
Hey @Ravel
Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like you are going through a hard time right now, and it is understandable that you are feeling unsure about what to do. I am really glad that you have reached out for some support as you don’t have to deal with this on your own.
I am sorry to hear that you lost your friends a few months back, that must be really hard on you especially since you mentioned that your city is lonely and it’s hard to meet new people. I know you mentioned that you have 1 friend but it is hard to spend time with them as they aren’t living as close which must be really tough.
Loneliness is very common among young people and I want to let you know that you aren’t alone in feeling this way. I wanted to share this post with you that we have around loneliness which I thought you may find helpful to have a look through.
I also know that last time you posted you shared that you were seeing a psychologist and was wondering if you are still seeing them? Or if you have any other supports in your life that you can talk to, like a family member or GP?
I was wondering if you have any hobbies or interest where you may be able to connect with other people that share similar interests to you in your local community? Whether it be a sport, book club, art/music class/club.
I was also wondering if there was anything you are doing to take care of yourself when you are feeling this way?
Ps we have sent you an email to check in, could you please keep an eye out for that?
Take care.
Im still seeing my psyc but theres only so much they can do with the limited rescources in my city. its really not equiped for mental health support here and im really feeling it. i cant talk to my family about this for so many reasons so they just arent an option. as for hobbies no not really. i dont have many hobbies im interested in or that are social or available here. my city is renounwed for being a very isloating city and its really fucking with me. before my distraction was to message the one friend i had left, but they are gone now, so im alone in the world. my situation is so fucked and i have been trying for so long to improve things, and im so so tired of trying and dedicating my life to being happier and better only to fail every time. im so so tired
Hey @Ravel
It is really good to hear that you are still seeing your psychologist!
I know you mentioned that there are limited resources where you live and was wondering if you think it would be helpful to access some more mental health support online?
KidsHelpline provide free support 24/7 where you can book an appointment with a counsellor over the phone or via webchat. It is for people aged up to 25 years old.
I also wanted to let you know that ReachOut have a peer chat service where you can book in a 1 on 1 chat. We have some more information about it here.
I was wondering if you had a chance to look through the loneliness post shared above and if so, if you found any of it helpful?
I’m sorry to hear that you aren’t able to message your friend anymore, that must be really hard. Is there anything else you think could be a healthy distraction for you?
I wanted to share 2 more resources with you which I thought might be helpful. The first one is an article on dealing with isolation and loneliness living in a rural or remote area. The other article is one about loneliness, which I wanted to share as it shared 2 resources on finding new supportive mates.
Also, just a reminder that we have sent an email to check in. Could you please reply to this?
Remember that you aren’t alone and that we are all here for you.
