TW: How to deal with parents being overbearing in ED treatment as an adult
I'm 20 and have been underweight struggling with an ED (ARFID) for 7 years. For the last year I have maintained my weight but last week I could a bone density scan and it came back I have osteoporosis. This has been really scary for me, and I'm really trying to improve my nutrition and increase my weight. My only problem is that this thing has really thrown my parents into full blown panic. They want me to move back home (I'm at uni)
It angers me because I feel like they don't actually care what is best for me, but because they are anxious for my health they just want full control to put themselves at ease. Not to mention that as an autistic adult with high anxiety I cannot even stand the idea of having all my control being taken away, and being treated like a child.
If I never had the test done nothing would have changed but all of a sudden all this is happening and it doesn't feel fair that there is no compromise - I am being expected to do too much, and me trying isn't good enough. I frankly do not want them involved in my treatment at all, I have a GP, dietician, psychologist, and psychiatrist all to help me, and all my parents seem to do is tell me I'm not trying hard enough, even if other professionals are happy with my progress. And if my parents and team don't agree on something, they won't listen, the professional must be wrong. I love them and I know they care about me, but the helicoptering is intense. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.
Comments
Thanks for opening up to us about what you are dealing with at the moment.
I am really sorry to hear that you aren’t feeling heard or respected in your decisions regarding your medical care. I hear you are well supported by a team of medical professionals and have been putting in a lot of hard work to follow their recommendations. You also mention you feel your parents aren’t acknowledging this effort you have put into maintaining your weight over the last year which sounds really frustrating.
It must be overwhelming navigating the differing opinions and trying to advocate for yourself. I wonder do you feel able to express to your parents or anyone in your treating team what you have told us here? Do you think it may be helpful to do so? We have an article on our website outlining how to tackle these difficult conversations with parents.
It must have been really stressful to receive the diagnosis of osteoporosis. How are you feeling about this? I encourage you to take some time to do some self care as you have such a lot going on for you right now. What kind of activities do you like to do to cope with stress?
