Too much Pressure

Hey @Cinnamon_Turtle !

I’m sorry to hear about your anxiety- I know firsthand how exhausting this can get! 

I wanted to share a few techniques that I use when I’m feeling anxious that really help me- especially when it gets uncontrollable! 

1. Finding a meaningful distraction that can occupy more space in your mind than your worry can. Maybe starting a new series, engaging in a hobby, writing a plan of your dream holiday and make a budgeting goal- it doesn’t have to be super practical and realistic! But something that moves your thoughts away from the ‘what if’s.’ For me, I like to draw while I listen to a podcast. I’ve been obsessing over reddit stories podcasts! They’re super entertaining. 

2. Try making a list of things related to the worry. One list of things you can currently control/know and another for things that you can’t. For example- you can try your best at school! However, we can’t predict how we might feel about certain things in the future. While you do this, I to add a reason why the things I can’t control might actually be a positive. For example, it’s a positive that I can’t predict how I will feel in the future, because that means I have lots of time to grow, learn and experience life. 

3. Another one that really helps me is scheduling time to worry. It sounds silly, I know!! If I’m feeling really distressed about my worries, I think or say out loud ‘Stop, this isn’t helpful for me right now’ and mentally tell myself that I’ll worry about it tomorrow at a certain time during the day. Sometimes saying it out loud helps me to break a cycle of overthinking. And, I find that when the time I’ve ‘booked in’ my worrying comes around, the thoughts have passed and I’m usually focused on something else. 

I really hope these are helpful! If you end up giving any of them a go and would like to share, I’d love to know how you went.

Wishing you all the best! 

Hi @Cinnamon_Turtle 

I really hear you, and what you’re feeling is valid. It’s incredibly tough when you’re dealing with anxiety like that, especially when you feel the pressure to perform and constantly compare yourself to others. It’s important to remember that even though others may seem fine, they might be going through struggles you don’t see. You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed, even if it seems like everyone else has it together.

The pressure you're feeling to perform academically can be really intense, but your worth is not defined by your grades or your school performance. It’s okay to want to do well, but it’s also okay to take a step back and recognize that you’re human, and it’s normal to feel anxious when there’s so much pressure. You’re still growing, learning, and figuring things out—and that’s okay. It’s a journey, and it’s not about being perfect all the time. But I completely understand what you're going through, I was a high achiever in school and I felt that everyone (both peers and teachers) expected me to do well at all times and that if I didn't, I'd be disappointing them and they would think I was dumb. But now that I am out of school, I realise that people forget and most of these people I was worried about are irrelevant to my life now and vice versa. And at the end of the day, people are really only concerned with those in their immediate circle.

As for the anxiety, have you tried ways to manage it when it starts getting really overwhelming? Sometimes, grounding techniques like deep breathing, focusing on the present moment, or writing down what you’re feeling can help when it feels like your mind is racing. It might also help to set aside time for self-care, even if it's just a small break to relax or do something that brings you joy. And it’s okay to ask for support—talking to someone you trust, whether it's a family member, friend, or counselor, could help you feel less alone in this.

Remember, your future doesn’t have to look like anyone else's, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Life isn’t about doing everything "right" or "perfect," but about finding moments of joy, love, and growth. You’ll get through this, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Allow yourself to take time for self-care and days to have fun with your friends, because as you said, these are the memories that matter most. 

Hey @Cinnamon_Turtle

When I was in high school, I also struggled with anxiety and panic attacks so I understand how lonely and difficult it can feel. Dealing with anxiety every day and feeling the pressure to perform is really tough.

I wanted to second @Blue_Dolphin's recommendation of meditation. I found meditation, especially breath work to be really beneficial in calming down my body and mind when I was anxious. Taking slow breaths and breathing through the anxiety was very helpful for me. It also helped me ground myself when I felt like a panic attack might be coming. Smiling Mind or Headspace have great guided breathing meditations available. 

Also, I know it can feel scary but reaching out to someone to talk about your feelings and anxiety can be very helpful. Speaking with a professional like a psychologist or counsellor can be really helpful in learning techniques to manage your anxiety and panic attacks. I found that simply talking to someone about my anxiety and feelings was really relieving and made me feel less alone. 

I want to commend you for sharing your experience and reaching out for support, and for your strength in getting through every day while dealing with these feelings and anxiety. 

I wish you all the best ❤️

Hi @Cinnamon_Turtle, first I want to commend you for reaching out for support with your anxiety, it is not easy. 

I also took school very seriously and I felt a lot of anxiety and pressure to perform well, and I saw others around me having fun while I felt like I had to do well because of expectations I placed on myself. It’s not an easy thing to deal with. 

One thing I found to be helpful is meditation - I used the Smiling Mind app and meditated every day. This allowed me to notice and deal with anxiety better and to stay in the moment rather than overthinking about what I have to do and if the assignment or exam I submitted was good enough, etc.  

Also, I would encourage you to find a hobby or activity you can do outside of school - this may cause more stress at first because you may worry that you’ve got less time for school work, but I think it’s important to engage in other activities, to have a break from studying, to enjoy yourself and to remember that life is not just school. 

Remember to be kind to yourself - yes it’s good to get perspective and to remember that your stress about Year 10 will seem small in the future but right now it is causing you stress. Try not to invalidate your feelings. 

Finally, as for the panic attacks, I would recommend seeking help from a school counsellor or psychologist if possible, as they can help you by providing you with techniques to handle this anxiety. 

I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best! 

Hey @Cinnamon_Turtle 

Back when I was in grade 10 I also had a really hard time with anxiety and frequent panic attacks so I can understand how much it impacts your life. Do you have a counsellor or someone similar either in or outside of school you could see about this? I had spent a while thinking my anxiety wasn't a big enough deal to see anyone and tried to just 'push through' my feelings but once I saw a psychologist and got better I realised just how much of my life was being taken over by anxiety and it helped me immensely.

It's so hard to conceptualise how important school actually is because all the way through it we're told we need to work as hard as possible and acheive the top marks to be able to go to uni and get a good job. But in the end, if you want to go to uni they've got lots of bridging programs and different pathways so people who didn't score high enough in school can persue what they want. My friends and I graduated school a couple years also all with fairly high scores, and now a few have dropped out of uni to work jobs that didn't care what score they graduated with and the rest of us haven't even thought of what we got in high school since starting uni. It's still really hard to not feel the pressure to do well while you're in school because of all the pressure teachers and parents put on you but I can assure you that you will still have a happy, good life regardless of what you get in high school.

School is tough and anxiety is a beast that makes it even tougher. Regardless of how your friends seem to be doing, you're strong for getting through each day with these feelings and for coming here for help.

Hey @Cinnamon_Turtle, 

Welcome to ReachOut! I'd like to start by acknowledging your courage and resilience, and want to thank you for sharing your experience with the community. Sharing what you're going through can be really tough so you should be proud of yourself! I can hear that you're experiencing debilitating anxiety around pressure to perform at school, which would be so difficult to manage. It sounds like you're also feeling anxious about the future and that by not doing well in school the world will end. I want you to know that feeling pressure to perform is really common with young people, and is often a cause for anxiety, so you're not at all alone with what you're going through. 

I can see that you feel anxious in the morning and evenings but feel fine at school, and experience panic attacks weekly. I am wondering if you have spoken to any family or friends about what you're going through? While your friends might seem fine, they too might be experiencing something similar and may be empathetic and supportive around what you're going through. I want to share this topic with you on Anxiety that you might find helpful. It includes a number of articles that explore tips and advice on coping and managing anxiety and panic attacks. I also want to acknowledge that thinking about your future can be scary and stressful, so wanting to enjoy your life as you age is completely understandable and is a common thought with young people. 

Managing anxiety and panic attacks can be incredibly scary and challenging for anyone. Seeing a professional for support around this can be so helpful, so I am curious to know if you are currently seeing a professional for support? This could be a GP, psychologist, or school counsellor. In case you're interested in additional support, I encourage you to connect with ReachOut's Peer Chat service, which offers free and anonymous 1:1 sessions for young people aged 16-25. You might also be interested in connecting with Kids Helpline for support, who offer free and confidential 24/7 online and phone counselling for young people aged 5 to 25.

I can imagine how overwhelming and scary this must all be for you to navigate. I am interested to know if you have used any strategies that have provided some relief around your anxiety and panic attacks? It's also important to try and take some time to engage in self care when you're going through a difficult time, so I am wondering what you've been doing to take care of yourself? 

I'd like to let you know that an email has been sent to check in with you offline, so please keep an eye out for that! I hope this helps and look forward to hearing from you soon.