coping with the same sex marriage debate
Hi,
This is my first time posting in these forums, so I apologise if I do anything wrong or break a rule. I'm 20 years old, a lesbian and from a regional city in QLD. When I first heard of the option of a same-sex marriage vote earlier this year, I didn't think it would be affecting me emotionally as much as it has. Ironically, the thing that isn't hurting me on the inside is waiting for the outcome of this vote. The thing hurting me is that in every area of my life at the moment, I feel defined by my sexuality. I feel like I'm almost branded, like a cow would be and seen as nothing other than something so personal as my sexual orientation. I came out as gay last year, and now I wish I never had.
I've dealt with a lot between coming out as gay and this postal vote. I've had men stick their hands down my pants to try to 'convert', I've been raped numerous times, I've been called homophobic slurs and been threatened with death. I fought so hard to feel comfortable and unashamed of my sexuality, yet I feel like I'm going backwards.
It seems like even the people who run this country don't care about people like myself. I usually support campaigns like R U OK Day, but this year, it just felt like some kind of sick joke. How can I be okay when so much hate is being thrown around? How can I be okay, when I am questioning my worth as a person? How can I be okay, when this entire thing is just making me want to disappear completely? I'm not okay, but it's not like the government or anybody else cares.
Additionally, I suffer from PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. This entire debate has exasperated my conditions (particularly the depression). I'm on anti-depressants already and have a regular GP, but see no point in confiding with a counsellor, since so many heterosexual people that I've tried opening up to about this have passed it off like it was nothing. Because this whole debate is just an 'opinion'. It's more than just an opinion, it's hate-speech, bullying and discrimination. But I guess it's okay to let people hurt me and others this way, because we're different.
Maybe being gay was a death sentence for me.
I always hear that I'm going to hell anyway.
Comments
I am so sorry to hear that you are bearing the brunt of this right now, my heart goes out to you, what has happened to you is undeserved and it is wrong. I think in the face of that it's okay to not be okay.
Marriage equality @InconsolableTruth is more than just an opinion, from my reading and my understanding of human rights it's very much a rights based issue, not something to be debated like it's an option. I think in the face of that it's okay to not be okay, but let's work together to make sure you are safe and to deal with the huge and understandable feelings that this whole situation brings up.
I want to keep talking about this with you, and i think you will find this is a pretty safe space to work through these feelings and get some support from others who are struggling with this.
However you have described surviving serious sexual assaults 😞 i wanted to know, are you getting support for that, Is that something you're able to do? This is not your fault, it's not okay and there is help out there. Here are some places where you can call to seek support in your local area, they will listen, take you very seriously and only work through what you're comfortable with working through. Are you comfortable with getting in touch with some one on one support?
