guys this post is kinda depressing i just realised also i'm kinda just ranting here
I've been feeling really down and overwhelmed by everything, especially right as I'm writing this post. I don't know if anyone's gonna read this but yeah.
I would much prefer to rant privately to a close friend who I'd be comfortable sharing with, but in reality, I don't have any. Sure, I have friends, but only a few, and they're also just... friends. Is there something wrong with me? Why do I not have any friends who I can even open up to? There's the school counsellor, but it's not like they're always free to talk; they're just another stranger. My family? Well, my mum's still in China on holiday, my dad's kinda just there, barely. My brother's also just another person existing.
I also have so much school work to catch up on, as I missed a week of school for holidays, and I have assessments coming up in the next few weeks that I am completely not prepared for. I also got sick these past two days and have been completely unable to be productive; just feeling so uncomfortable and tired. I feel like I've been wasting so much time, and I know I have to start being productive tomorrow, or I'm screwed. Yet, it's 12:40 A.M. and I need to wake up at 7 A.M. for school.
I feel like I have so much to do, just sorting myself out physically, socially, and emotionally. I've tried to do one of those brainstorm maps where you write everything that's worrying you down, and cross out the ones you cant control and focus on the ones you can, but it just made me feel even more overwhelmed seeing how much was on the list. Most of it is controllable, but I'm just so tired. I feel almost motivated to do it, but I just can't bring myself to. Every small task feels like a whole mountain to climb, with a 98% chance of falling down.
My family's financial issue is also going downhill. We just had to borrow $23,000 to pay off a fee. I have a job, but I am still a student and I'm 14.
Please give me some advice on how to just, focus on school again. I want to live a nice, organised life.
please
Comments
Hey @cookiebread02 
It can be hard to make close friends especially when you’re in school. You’re not really exposed to a bunch of different people so it can be hard to find people that you really click with. In time you’ll find your people. Do you think you could become closer with any of your current friends? Often just spending more time with someone can create a deeper bond.
It sounds like you’re really working hard to make things better for yourself. It’s admirable. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed right now. There is so much going on. It’s great that you have some control over a lot of the problems but as you mentioned having a long list of all the things you need to fix is too much. Try to go through one thing at a time. It may be slower, but you’ll be less likely to burnout. Getting enough sleep and create a good sleep schedule is probably the most important thing. Sleep will allow you to have the energy to focus and accomplish the goals you set.
As other people mention kids’ helpline, headspace, and peer chat can be helpful if you just need to vent to someone. If you can it may be also useful to see the school counsellor. You’re right about them not always being free and being another stranger, however, they may be able to give you some assistance when it comes to catching up on schoolwork and just additional school support. I know mine was able to give me extensions and such as well as a quiet place when things were too overwhelming. And often times they’re really nice people.
Hi @cookiebread02 ,
Firstly, pat yourself on the back for being aware and taking the first step in changing your current situation. That is such a fantastic quality to have, and you are very courageous to know that you are struggling at the moment and, therefore, reaching out and that in itself is a huge step towards growth and progress.
Secondly, I would like to say that you described me right now... you are not alone; I am in the same position of feeling overwhelmed with my studies, getting assessments done, keeping up with emails, and focusing on work. I am 19, and we are both young. I think you are doing fantastic, having a job and also going to school, managing homework, but also being at that age where you are trying to build and maintain friendships/relationships that can be a lot of pressure.
It is great to hear that despite all this, you have tried a few strategies to manage your life, be proud of yourself and be compassionate towards you. I see that your school counsellor isn't always available to chat, which can be difficult when you are going through intense emotions at different moments, so I want to ask if you know any organisations that provide one-session emergency counselling for people who need to talk to someone at that difficult moment, I have previously used some of those services. They help when needed and cannot wait until you see a counsellor or psychologist since they require appointments. I strongly encourage you to give these a go when you need them; they are safe and confidential.
- Headspace (specialises in youth ages 12-25)
- Beyond Blue (All ages)
- Kids Helpline (Ages 5-25)
Another excellent resource is Reach Out's peer chat, which is a more 1:1 chat with a trained peer who has lived experience and can discuss what's on your mind; even though that is not an emergency counselling support option, it is still helpful to have in mind.
Please let me know what you think of these and if you have tried any. Is it something that would be useful?
Take care of yourself, rest, and I look forward to hearing from you soon! 😊
Hi @Mindful_Dreamer 
I hope that you are doing well yourself, and thank you for replying.
It's comforting to hear from someone physically (or at least online) saying that they're going through the same thing. Because although people always say that "there's always someone else going through the same thing", no one's ever told me that themselves before. I admire how you still spend time helping others.
I'll definitely check out the services you've linked. I think I've tried to have an online chat with someone before, but I never got connected. I'll also try out the peer-chat, as these resources seem encouraging.
Thank you so much!
Awww, thank you for your kind words; I appreciate it.
I thrive off helping other people and being able to guide them from experience, so it is my pleasure to help you out, even if it is a little bit. I am pleased to hear that the above resources have encouraged you to take that next step, and I hope you do.
Again, this reminds you that you are doing fantastic for your age. Be easy on yourself as you are still learning, give yourself time, and enjoy each day as it comes and trust me, you will find your way through these dark times.
Don't hesitate to come back when you need to chat with someone or need help/support; we are all here to listen and support you! 🙌
Chat soon 🤗
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down and overwhelmed, and going through a tough time right now.
I understand that you don't feel comfortable ranting to your friends and that's totally fine. We don't have to share personal things with our friends if we don't want to but I can hear some emotion around not feeling like you can open up to your friends. I'd love to know how does this make you feel? Also, you said you have a school counsellor who you can talk to but they're not always free to talk. Do you have other professional support outside of school who you can connect with?. You said your mum is away in China, is she someone you feel safe and comfortable talking to?
I completely understand how you're feeling with your school work and having alot to do but feeling unprepared. It's okay to feel this way and so many other students are likely feeling the same way. Also, It sounds like being sick these past two days has added onto how you're feeling right now, seeing as you're feeling tired and uncomfortable. It's also really good to see that you are aware of some strategies to help clear your mind and help you get organised, but you said it's made you feel more overwhelmed seeing just how many things you have to do. There is an article here that might help you find new ways to feel less overwhelmed and help you get more organised, it's called 'how to prioritise and get stuff done'. Is there anything in this article that stands out to you or that you might try?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
Hi @Bel_RO 
Thanks for replying!
I thought I was a very open person, as I remember I used to always open up to anyone I was talking to, but I kinda realised that I'm not really close to anyone right now. Even my besties, they're just friends to me. We don't talk regularly outside of school, or talk about deep subjects. I'm really not used to it, cause I used to talk to a lot more people before. I'm not sure what has changed, but suddenly I'm alone.
I'm not really close to any of my family considering they're family. Sure, I love them and all, but it would probably be almost my last choice to talk to them about my troubles. I'm scared it'll worry them, but I also think they won't take me seriously. They think of mental struggles (such as burnout or depression) as not a real thing, and just something made up as an excuse for 'lazy people'. This also leads to how I find it difficult to find help outside of school, as most would need a parent/caregiver to sign permission, or at least have knowledge of the event.
I'll definitely try the techniques listed in the article you linked! The mapping technique seems interesting and efficient, so I'll see if it works for me.
Thank you so much for your response!
Hi there @cookiebread02 ,
Thank you for sharing. I read how much you have seen yourself change. Whether it's a change in yourself or a deeper understanding of yourself, only you know. Friendships in itself can be tricky at the best of times. As young people transition through life, friendships can often change. People's interests change, likes/dislikes change, goals change.... there's nothing constant but change!
I read that you find yourself changing from a once-open person who talked to a lot of people, to finding yourself quieter and more alone. I'm wondering if this article about coping with changing friendships would be of interest to you?
I'm sorry to hear you do not feel close enough to your family to be able to talk to them about your mental health - or, rather, they won't understand. I'm wondering if their idea that people who have mental health conditions use MH as an excuse of being 'lazy', is something they say because they really do not understand the impact of mental health on young people? Sometimes, unless it 'hits home', it is hard for some to accept. Maybe, in due time, you will be able to find a way to open up to them about what's been going on for you. This article may be of interest - 6 Tips when talking to your parents about mental health.
For now, please take care. If you feel the need to speak to someone, please call:
