cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Main content skiplink
Join an event. Happening today.

i hate myself so much

im such a prick. and im both and autistic and ugly person to boot, but thats a whole 'nother thing. i hate myself so much. i bring up things people in my house hold do but then after i realise maybe i was being a jerk. idk.

im in isolation right now because i tested positive on a RAT test. im having to rely on my sister to do things for me and i hate it. three times during this isolation ive asked her for something i need, not want, NEED. like food and water. every time she delayed getting me what i need despite being very very hungry cause i havent eaten all day. i dont hate her. but im still not happy with her. she argued i dont have it as bad as her because i have my own bed and technology etc and shes stuck in the lounge room, with her boyfriend isolating in their room. at least she has more autonomy than me right now. she can move about most of the house freely and doesnt need to worry about going to the bathroom and getting everybody else sick. ive been avoiding going to the toilet or showering so i dont expose everyone more than i need to. excuse me for wanting to eat.

i made the mistake of posting about this on reddit just to vent, but of course its reddit, so someone pointed out i was being selfish and now idk if my problem is reasonable or im just being selfish. which i dont need to think about anymore than i already do. i know im just a blight on people's lives and i should just shut up and sit down. i dont need them to tell me that. all i wanted to do was vent. i know people are free to say what they like so really im just venting here. turning into a sensitive mess over one person.

Bear_Flips_Table
Bear_Flips_TablePosted 31-03-2022 07:29 PM

Comments

Anonymous
Not applicable

Bre-RO
Uber contributor

 
Courtney-RO
Courtney-ROPosted 31-03-2022 09:37 PM

Hi @Bear_Flips_Table thank you for reaching out and sharing with us today. Firstly,  I can hear just how hard things are right now, so I just want to ask if you have had thoughts of suicide at all?

 

I'm sorry to hear that you hate yourself so much, I'm sure being in isolation wouldn't make that any easier. You mentioned that you are having to rely on your sister to bring you things like food and water but that she has delayed getting you what you need. Has she mentioned at all why she has been taking longer to bring these to you? I wonder if maybe there is a reason for why this might be the case. It doesn't sound like reddit was very nice either, I'm sorry that they thought you were being selfish for wanting to eat.

 

I just want to remind you that you're not alone and you are important to us. If you would like to talk to someone, Kidshelpline is always available and if you are interested in having a bit of a read, we have an article where people share their experiences of being in isolation too. 

 

I also just wanted to let you know that i've made a couple of edits to your post so it fits in with our community guidelines and I have sent you an email to check in with you too.

 

We're all here for you 💜

Related spaces

Welcome back!

Join the Community

ReachOut is confidential & anonymous.

8+ characters, 1 capital letter, 1 lower case letter and 1 number

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.