Hey @Bee    I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little bit better about some of the things that you've been struggling with. It's also really lovely that your old manager has been able to give you some advice too     I'm hearing that you're feeling really worn down by having to go through such big emotions at work. It's important to feel that you're safe at work, after all we spend a lot of time in our places of employment. Like you, I can find it really hard to communicate about difficult things without crying. There's a few ways I've dealt with this...  This one is hard but I really try to allow myself to feel my emotions. If I'm crying it means there's something that is happening inside of me and as much as sometimes I want to squash it away I know that it's better to make friends with my sadness/anxiety. Giving myself a few moments in the bathroom to let the tears come out, take a few deep breaths into my belly and tell myself it's okay to feel scared or sad. After that I wash my face with cold water, look at myself in the mirror and practise a little affirmation like. "I can face this day even though I feel scared/sad/worried".  If the above is too hard or not helpful I use email as a way to communicate. It can help to make sure that you've understood things properly, give you a chance to formulate your message the way you'd want to. Also then there's a paper trail of what you are trying to achieve at work. You could even use the following line in order to clarify things you're not 100% on. "Following our meeting today I'd just like to confirm that I've understood my responsibilities correctly.. XYZ"  I hope those suggestions help - I can see you're doing your best to stay calm at work. Continue your breathing and positive self talk   ... View more

Hey @SomeoneNADJS    I can sense the pain in your post. It must be so hard for you to feel like you're not doing well as a systemmate. From where I stand I can see that you are all trying really hard to balance a lot and doing a damn good job of it. Even though you're feeling some heavy emotions, you are doing all you can to navigate your way through this. That strength is not to be taken lightly     You seemed to be in high distress last night. How are you feeling today?     We are thinking of you all during this really difficult time.  ... View more

Hey @Pasta    I'm sorry to hear you feel like there's nobody you can trust - that must make you feel really alone     I can relate to not wanting to make loved ones concerned. I think it's really common to think things like "they have enough on their plate" or "I don't want to worry them". Something I've learnt is that people being concerned for you is actually just them loving you. When you love and care for someone you will worry for them if they aren't coping well. That is completely normal and I'm sure your mum would much rather know what's going on for you than not know.    Do you think there's anything you could do to open up a dialogue with mum? It sounds like she would really want to be there to support you   ... View more

@WheresMySquishy  I love this little gem of wisdom you shared! Thank you for opening up about your recovery journey   @WheresMySquishy wrote: One of my psychologists said that my past will always be a part of me, but it will get smaller over time. So for me, it was not so much fighting against it or trying to alter my perception of it, but learning to accept what had happened and finding strategies to help with the symptoms. ... View more

Oh @Confused_fox I'm really sorry you're going through such a painful break-up I'm happy that you found our community to support you through this difficult time.    Being cheated on is a really hard thing to go through. It can bring up many feelings - sadness, anger, insecurity, confusion. All of this and more is completely normal - I think it's important to express how you feel as much as you can. Write about it, talk to a friend or family member, sing about it, chat with us on the forums about it. Whatever works for you     I just want to acknowledge how strong it was for you to make the decision to end things even though you still love this person. That speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. To let go of something in order to do what is best for yourself is so special. What a courageous act of self love       We have some stuff you might wanna read when you're ready on break-ups here and know that we are here to listen to you.  ... View more

Part 2: What does recovery look like for you? Last week we spoke about recovery, and how this journey looks different for each person. Many of you shared some really insightful comments about recovery, which were so uplifting to read.   This week we are going to dig a bit deeper to talk about recovery and its role in your life - this is a good time to reflect on your mental health journey but remember to take care of yourself if discussing this brings up any big feelings        To get us started, here is a video of Roxy ’s personal recovery journey.  We often hear from forum members that expectations of recovery and the reality of personal recovery are very different! The beauty of recovery is that different things work for different people and through sharing our unique experiences we can learn that recovery is totally possible.   There is a great resource by BeyondBlue here that goes into the stages of recovery and has some information on treatment for different mental health conditions. Give it a read if you’re interested!    Discussion:   What was your expectation of recovery, and was the reality different?   Can you share a step you have taken towards recovery?    What is one key thing you have learnt about yourself throughout your recovery journey?   ... View more

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx    I'm sorry to read what happen with your teacher, that must have been so disheartening for you- I can see that it really put you in a low mood last night. It also probably didn't help that you had a headache. How are you feeling today?   ... View more

Hey @Just_nobody    I'm glad to know that you are safe In saying that my heart goes out to you as you experience such difficult things. It takes incredible courage to get up and face each day when you are feeling so low - I want to recognise that you are seeking help which is a difficult first step to make.    Do you feel like you could open up to a loved one about how much you're struggling with self harm and suicidal thoughts? Know that we are here to help you get the support you need       ... View more

Hey @mspaceK    Apologies if I didn't clearly explain how the service works, as Andrea said it's basically a phone counselling service where you can discuss personal and professional matters that are causing you distress. It's just another tool you can use if you ever need :)    I hope your appointment goes well with your psychologist I trust that you will get to the bottom of this with the help of your support network.    It must be really frustrating for you living in that kind of environment. I know I've been in your shoes and it can really start to wear you down after awhile. What have you been doing to manage the situation up until this point? I hope you can find a way to get through the next couple of months before you can move   ... View more

Hey @abrokenangel    I'm so glad you found our online community It can be hard to talk about these things with people who don't understand mental health challenges so it's really great that you're here.    You mentioned feeling like if you stop to discuss what's going on for you that you'll break down. I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling - it's like the moment you start to verbalise your emotions it all comes out like a tidal wave! When that happens for me it actually feels like my body is relieved to unload all the pain and even though it can be hard to feel it all - it can also feel really good to let it out to someone who you feel safe with.    Have you ever spoken to a counsellor or psychologist during tough times?  ... View more

@Ally12345 Welcome to ReachOut and what an articulate, expressive first post.     I think you've really beautifully described the emotions that come with missing someone. What you've written also highlights the impact relationships have on people and how they make us feel. It's totally okay to feel those feelings and feel them for as long as you need to.   I believe we can let people go from our lives but still hold them dearly in our hearts, still remember them and recognise the value they had. One of life's most precious gifts is other people and the lessons they teach us - you can hold onto that for as long as you need   ... View more

Hey @Just_nobody    Please don't feel the need to apologise to us, we understand that you're in distress and we're here to support you. I'm really concerned for you right now - Are you safe right now?    I think it could be a good chance now to remind everyone that it is completely okay to talk about self harm. If you need to talk about self harm on the forums it's really important that you confirm that you are safe at some point in your post. Because we all care for each other here, it can be distressing for others to read if they are unsure if you're safe If you could confirm that you're safe that would be appreciated - if we don't hear back from you by 4:30 pm today I will need to remove your post.    I want you to know that it's possible to recover from self-harm - even though when used as a copying strategy it can feel like you don't want to stop doing it. Anything that relieves pain is something humans naturally want to seek out. The trick is finding methods of coping that aren't harmful to you - because you are worthy and important     Is there anyone in your life that you trust that you could talk to about these thoughts you're having?  ... View more

Morning @Tiny_leaf    Just checking in with you to see how you are after what happened with your mum? It sounds like it was a distressing night. It must have been really overwhelming hearing that and being touched in a way that makes you feel unsafe. I just want to say that after reading so many of your supportive messages to other users here, it's very clear that you are far from self centred     Is there anything nice you can do to care for yourself today?       ... View more

Hey @gmusicj    Thank you for asking for help with this Adjusting to medication can be a difficult time and often within the first couple of weeks there will be some side effects that are a little uncomfortable to go through.    It's important to say that everyone experiences medication differently - some people don't like it and others can't live without it. That is your personal journey to go through, of course with the support of your doctor, friends, family and ReachOut as well :)    I can relate to what you're going through and in my experience it does get better - with perseverance and being open to adjusting medication if needed. It's not an easy path to walk but it's a worthy one when you get the right fit.      I'm sending you lots of strength to face the emotional pain you are feeling right now. Know that we are here to listen to you.  ... View more

@Tiny_leaf  Will do  :)  ... View more

Hey there @GermanSushi    Welcome to ReachOut! Thank you for being so courageous in coming here to open up about what you're going through. I can sense the anxiety and distress in your post and my heart goes out to you as you go through this difficult time     You mentioned feeling so down that you want to die. I just want to make sure that you are safe right now? If you ever feel at risk of hurting yourself you can call the suicide call back service - you can find their website here and they can be reached on 1300 659 467. They also have a webchat service if that would be better for you.     It sounds like questioning your sexuality has been a really scary and confusing experience for you. It is for many people and I want you to know that there are other young people here that have experienced what you are going through. You are not alone I think this would be something you could unpack with a counsellor/psychologist so that you can better understand HOCD. Do you think speaking to someone about this would be helpful? If so there's some information on how to access some support with OCD here.    I want to let you know again just how brave you are for getting this off your chest. It's not easy to ask for help with someone that is scary for us. Whether you're suffering from HOCD or you are coming to terms with a new part of your sexuality - It's okay to be who you are and get support in your journey.     Also, just wanted to let you know I had to edit it some of your post as there was some content that was not inline with our community guidelines. When you have some time give them a read here.    ... View more

Hey @mspaceK    It sounds like you have a good understanding of what you need to feel better about work. I think it would be great if you had some support to tackle the work anxiety so you can make the steps you'd like to make. I did some research and all teachers working for the department of education are eligible to phone counselling through the employee assistance program (and further support/face to face support if need be). If you think this could be helpful they will do a quick intake with you over the phone and then you'll be able to have counselling over the phone straight away! They are also a 24/7 service which is good to know. They're number is  1300 361 008 and you can read more about EAP (employee assistance program) here.  ... View more

Hey @ruthxxx    I just wanted to say how heart-warming it is for me to see that you feel less alone after reading that other people go through social anxiety. I used to think it was just me too! As I got older more and more of my friends started to say they had the same anxieties about socialising - we kinda had a laugh that we were all silently feeling so anxious and didn't say anything to each other.    Low self esteem can definitely be a contributing factor and it's amazing that you have the self awareness to recognise that. You mentioned that you try and get out of your comfort zone and eventually make friends - that is so brave of you to get outside your comfort zone!   ... View more

@Tiny_leaf  That line is a pretty spot on summary of peoples experiences with the NDIS.    I hope you're feeling okay today   ... View more

@Tiny_leaf  Good to hear you have a creative outlet when you need it. I love that your friend is doing that! I'm a big believer in "If you don't laugh, you'll cry". Sometimes taking painful experiences and redefining them can be so empowering. There's a comic named Maria Bamford who found success by sharing her experience with OCD. I like to watch her videos when I'm feeling frustrated/alone.    I have made many a formal complaint in my time and I agree they definitely don't make it easy. Is there anything light-hearted you do to balance things out, when writing the complaint?   ... View more

Hey @Sammyye    Thanks for checking back in with ReachOut!    I just wanted to ask if you would mind telling us what you mean by the following statements.    "Guys my friend in California tried to run to the fire and the police told him he was a very naughty boy  ngl that freaked me out but it’s ok now"    We hope you're well and will keep an eye out for your response   ... View more

Hey @Pasta    I hope you've been able to spend the day relaxing considering you're feeling so tired I can hear how hard it is for you to talk about what's going on for you - it's really brave that you continue to try and talk to someone despite how difficult it is.    When I worked supporting people over the phone it was quite common that people would have long pauses and take some time getting their words out. Apart of being willing to help is allowing people the space and time to express themselves. If you give them a call again remember that you deserve all the time you need to get the words out   ... View more

Aw @Tiny_leaf - I'm really sorry to hear about how the health system makes you feel. You are not alone in your frustration. There are lots of aspects of the health system that are outdated paired with people who don't know how to change it or don't care to. There are also good people wedged in the mix of it who wish they were permitted to do more as @not-an-otter pointed out. I'm sorry that this is something you have to deal with     I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was just wondering if you've ever considered writing something about your experience with the health system? I ask because you always formulate and present your views in such an articulate way. In times that I've felt angry at systematic failures I try to put it into words and get it published. I find this therapeutic but I can see how not everyone would enjoy that process. Is there anything you do at the moment to express all the emotions that come with what you're going through?      ... View more

Hey @Bento    Thanks for telling us more about how you feel. I get what you mean by there being a general lack of hope. I think that is also amplified when living in a busy city - everyone is in a rush and has seemingly forgotten to stop a smell the roses.    I agree with you 1000% - hope is an extremely important thing to have. It's worth mentioning that it's quite normal that in the span of our life we might go through a period of hopelessness. When I have been through these times I've tried taking the control back and giving myself reasons to have hope. Some of my "hope building" tips are:  Only reading good news stories for a week- advancements in science/tech, environmental reform around the globe, articles on friendship/togetherness/communities making a difference, anything that will lift your mood.  Planning some activities for the next six months that will give me something to look forward to. It could be planning a weekend getaway with friends, booking a workshop/class in a hobby you enjoy, plan some days/nights out with friends. You mentioned wanting to go to Japan - I suggest researching places to stay, towns/cities, tours etc.. studies show that planning a trip is really good for your mental health. Even if you don't end up taking the trip for a long while, just thinking about/planning travel reduces stress.  Make a dream board/list of all the things you'd like to do in your future. Don't be restricted by what you think it's possible. Let yourself get lost in your imagination about a positive future worth getting excited about. What would it look like? Who would be there?  I know the above are much easier said than done but I just wanted to share what has worked for me Know that we are here to listen to you and support you through the hard times you're going through.  ... View more

Hey @mspaceK    From what you've described the work anxiety you're going through sounds really exhausting. It's so hard when the mind replays what could go wrong over and over. I remember feeling much the same as you when I first entered the workforce. It isn't the easiest time - you're learning new things, meeting new people, forming a new part of your identity as a "professional". Not to mention the fact that in our modern world, having an income is tied to how we survive. That's a lot of pressure as it is. I can see why this has been causing you so much stress.    I want to assure you that there's nothing wrong with you for finding this to be a challenge. If you can, give yourself permission to be in the learning stages. There is no shame in making mistakes and learning from them - in fact it's a completely necessary part of mastering any skill set. What makes a world of difference is having the support from your employer. I'm just wondering if your workplace has any employee assistance programs?       ... View more

@jasmine12345678 @Sammyye    Lovely to see you two making friends here :)    Just a little reminder that it's best we stay anonymous on the forums. @Sammyye when you have some time it would be great if you could give our community guidelines a read   ... View more

@SomeoneNADJS    Hey R - I'm really sorry to hear about this morning. Things are tough at the moment and you're all juggling so much. I can hear in your post that you're carrying a lot of responsibility for everyone. You are carrying yourself, systemmates (btw thank you for educating me on what is meant by "systems" a few posts ago) and your parents. That must be a lot for you     I'm happy to hear that you're reaching out to KHL - getting support from them and us is an important way of making sure you aren't going through the pluralism alone. I just want to make sure you're safe right now because you have mentioned that you're struggling with self harm. Would all of you feel comfortable calling KHL again if you are starting to feel at risk of harming yourself?     We are sending you lots of comfort to get you through the day.  ... View more

Hey @Sammyye    I just wanted to stop by on this thread because I can see there's been some conversation about eating disorders here. Firstly, I want to say thank you so much for caring about people with eating disorders. It's obvious that you wanted to help by sharing what you did Even though your intentions were good, I did need to remove the post and the comments that followed it as the conversation was stepping outside of the community guidelines.    Eating disorders are one of the topics that we have to be mindful of when discussing with the community. In our guidelines we say that it's best to steer clear from descriptions of eating disorders and methods. The reason for this is because eating disorders are varying and complex. Because of this recovery from an eating disorder is not a one size fits all approach. We want to be careful that we aren't oversimplifying what is a complicated experience for many people here on the forums  We are planning on going into more detail about this in a separate post so we can make sure there's no confusion. In the meantime for anyone who is wondering The Butterfly Foundation are the experts in this area and would be the best people to get some support from if you're struggling.    @Tiny_leaf  you made some really insightful comments on this topic and thank you for tagging us so we could make sure the community is safe. We really appreciate how you look out for the community.      ... View more

Hey @LizO1997    Thanks for opening up about the situation you're in   It sounds like your grandmother really cares about your safety but I can see how restricting her rules are. I'm just wondering if there's anyone in your family that you think could help you with negotiating an arrangement that you're happier with?    I'm glad you are feeling better and that talking about what's going on here has helped. I'm sure one day you'll be in a position to live independently and make your own choices about how to keep yourself safe. When you feel weighed down by this, remember that it's temporary.    Sending you lots of strength ... View more

Hey @Pasta    Just wanted to check in with you, sounds like yesterday was rough. I hope you were able to get some rest and wake up feeling better today     It's really good that you took yourself out to do laps when you were feeling angry and sad. Do you feel like it helped to get out of the house and walk?    Also, I can sense that calling KHL is a bit of a challenge for you? I understand only feeling comfortable speaking to one of the counsellors. If you ever wanted to try talking to someone else from khl, I'm sure they would be more than happy to spend some time with you       ... View more