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Family issues & no money



Im in my early 20's and live with my dad and brother. My dad and I don't get along at all, he is very negative and is a gambling addict so things are very tense and depressing at home. He doesn't understand my condition (depression/axiety) and gambles all his money away and doesn't pay rent on time or buy food (I buy my own groceries etc). He is very negative and brings me down and he sulks and refuses to see a counselor about his addiction or his own depression. He lives a very reckless lifestyle and I worry about him constantly. My parents got divorced last year and after my mum and dad sold the family home I was living with my mum. However, early this year my mum moved in with her boyfriend so I had to move in with my dad because I am still at uni and have no money (I had to quit my casual job because of social anxiety and now live off Youth Allowance).


I have a long term boyfiend - we've been together for 6 years but he is a uni student too with no job, living off Youth Allowance as well and he doesn't want to move out with me for some reason (he claims we can't afford it, but we could get living out of home Youth Allowance, rent assist etc...). Yesterday I plucked up the courage to ask if I could move in with him and his parents but he said no. I am an extremely shy person with high levels of anxiety so this was a really difficult thing for me to ask and he just shut me down, saying that he needs to focus on his uni right now. But he has a big house with plenty of room and I told him I would pay rent, pay for food etc, but he still said no. Mid-way through this year I tried moving into student accomodation, but had to move back home after 2 weeks because I had a breakdown with social anxiety. My mum and her boyfriend don't want me living with them because they want their space and her boyfriend thinks I'm too old and should be independent by now. I can't live with my dad because I feel like I am going to have another breakdown just being around him. I am seriously considering living out of my car because I have nowhere to go and I'm really depressed.


I have tried all year to get another job, but I have been rejected every time because I'm too shy and not "confident enough". I struggle just to pay for my own food and am considering quitting uni and trying to get a full-time job just so I can move out. It just hurts so bad that no one in my life can help me as I don't have a single friend and all my other family live very far away. I don't know what to do, everyone I know just tells me that they can't help me Smiley Sad


Re: Family issues & no money

Hi @annedert - that sounds like a difficult situation to be in. Home should be the comforting place to return to, and when it's actually the source of anxiety it's hard to cope with.

I think you have a few options before you end up in your car. Have you explained to your boyfriend the things you've explained to us about your Dad and how he has so much space and a stable home life? You could write him a letter or email if you cant say it face to face. Perhaps he will reconsider. Another option could be to return to student housing. Now that you know what to expect, you could set up a support system for when you feel anxious or triggered. This might also work if you find a sharehouse arrangement on the boards at uni or in the paper.


What sort of treatments are you currently using for your depression and anxiety? Do you have a mental health professional that you see regularly, or do you ever use the Lifeline services?