Friend stuff
So I've got this friend and we were super close for quite a few years but a year or so ago they stopped coming to school as often and started acting kind of weird and I don't know how to feel about it?? Like we've been friends for so long and now they've started coming to school a bit more but they're acting kind of strange and it's making me feel kind of uncomfortable but I don't know what to do about it. They wouldn't say anything to me for a few days other than "hi" but then whenever they do say anything else to me it's something like "I keep dreaming your parents are having a divorce" and it makes me really uncomfortable. They're not respecting my boundaries as much and I like my personal space but they were really understanding before so I don't know what to do 😭😭
Comments
Hi @Charcoal_Wolf , it sounds like you're going through a difficult situation with your friend, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused and uncomfortable. It can be challenging when someone you've been close to starts behaving differently and breaking boundaries, and making you question your friendship.
I just wanted to let you know I'm hearing you and wanted to support Chloe in saying that it might be helpful to take your friend to the side and have an open conversation about how their behaviour is making you feel. Let them know that their comments about your parents' divorce make you uncomfortable and that you value your privacy and personal space.
I also wanted to ask if you happened to have a trusted adult around you, such as a teacher, counselor, or family member who may be able to provide guidance for you.
Stay strong.
Hi @Chloe-RO and @DDandy (thought I'd reply to you both at once hope this is okay haha) thank you both so much for the advice I really appreciate it!
I'll try my best to have a conversation with my friend about it and see how it goes (I'm a pretty awkard person but I can try!)
They've started living with someone else in my year level that also skips school and drinks a lot of alcohol so I think that might be one of the reasons they're not coming to school as much anymore?
As for trusted adults I do have my mum but I'm scared if I talk to her about it she'll make a big fuss over it. She's already been criticising that friend for a while.
@Charcoal_Wolf Sounds like you do really care about your friend, so might be something you bring to the table if you have this conversation with her. Can certainly be difficult having those kinds of conversations, but generally even if they're super awkward, they're worth it! Because at least then you'll know where you stand, ya know? Like you'll know if she's going to be willing to respect your boundaries. And might even give her an opportunity to be honest about what's going on for her and why she's started skipping.
If it's a tough conversation to have with your mum, you could always give Kids Helpline a buzz to talk it through with them, and maybe ask them if you could practice or get some tips on both of these tough conversations.
Hi there @Charcoal_Wolf ,
I'm sorry to hear that it seems like you feel you are drifting away from a close friendship you used to have. It must be so challenging to know that you were so close to someone, only to realise that something has caused them to barely say 'hi'.
From your post where you mentioned they stopped going to school, it made be curious to understand why. It somehow sounds like your friend is having their own struggles, rather than them not talking to you as much being your fault.
Have you ever been able to have a conversation around what may be happening for them, and how you feel about it? For example, "I can see that you are..... When you say....I makes me feel......Is there something you want to talk about?"
Here is a bit of a tip sheet on how to tackle some of the more difficult conversations.
Rather than seeing this as potentially 'your fault', perhaps it's about being a listening ear for your friend, and then sharing what your boundaries look like.
Thoughts?
