I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like this, @Shyzkitty, and I've been thinking of you since you told us about your friend. I'm so happy to hear you have got a new friend around to support you and for you to support! If I were you, don't listen to those kids saying you've replaced your friend, fuck that honestly! I'm sorry to hear he attempted last night, maybe you can help him get to a psychologist to talk about this issue he is facing, and possibly find one to visit yourself? Lifeline is great for chats on these topics. I highly recommend it, if yoy are looking for someone to vent to and get some professional advice from, they are your guys! Yiu can always talk to us on RO.
I'm sorry you're feeling like you wished it was you, and for your self harming last night, if you need to see someine about it, maybe it's a good idea to call lifeline and get some advice in how to care for yourself or visit somewhere to help you without needing to turn to your foster carers.
I'm so sorry for your loss @Shyzkitty, the grieving process is difficult enough but there are added emotions when it is due to suicide and they can be really tough to process. You really don't need the additional strain of family issues either right now. Do you have a safe place to stay until things can be worked out with your foster family, or new living arrangements made?
I'm really worried about the comments you've made about self-harming and wishing you were the one who passed away. If you have gone too far and seriously injured yourself, it's really important that you see a doctor - whether at the hospital or your nearest GP clinic. I understand that your family isn't very supportive and you're worried about their reactions, but the hospital will have support staff who can help you through this. You need people in your corner right now, and I want to give you the number for the Suicide Call Back Service. It's 1300 659 467. They have counsellors available 24/7 who understand the impact of suicide, and what it means to have thoughts of it yourself. I really hope you will call them, they can help you make sense of all this pain and confusion. Please keep us updated on how you go.