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I hate me

I hate myslef so much and I can't stop crying because my mother yelled at me. I feel so bad about myself but it's not my parents fault because they don't know how much I hate myself. Twice I didn't eat for a long time because I didn't want to go to school. Another time I didn't drink anything for a long time because I didn't want to go to school. I did it so I would seem sick and no one knew the real reason I felt weak and dizzy. I don't face bullies at school but in my mind. I hate myself and I get so anxious about school. Now I get so depressed every time I don't eat for even a short while. Once I overdosed because I wanted to sleep and never wake up again. I'm so stressed out about college and my last grades in high school and I hate me so much.


Re: I hate me

Hey @Asammy.

It's got to feel really tough right now, especially with the added stress of your parents being angry, but also just not understanding that the problems and feelings are running a lot deeper than they perhaps realise. I am really sorry to hear that all of this is happening and i hope we can keep talking and start making things feel a little better. Self- hatred, negative self talk, feelings of worthlessness and self-harm are all things that we can change, overcome and then recover from. Its a lot easier with backup!


I  want you to know that you have taken a humongous big step in starting to recover by reaching out and having a bit of a chat to us. I think it's going to be important to get some more back up closer to home as well though. Does your school have a counsellor? Would you be okay with talking to them? I hear that you are pretty anxious about school already, so i understand that you might not feel ready to chat to them on top of all the other things, so let me know if you're not ready to do that, and we can keep exploring options Smiley Happy .


And in the mean time, i want you to try something, it might sound silly, but humour me. Go to this thread. Pick a thing in the thread that you can do and just do it! I want you to pick another every day for the next seven days and just do it. The point of this exercise is to help give your brain a bit of breathing room, you might find it hard at first, but keep going!


Let us know how you're doing mate! We're here for you!